Monthly Archives: October 2007

A Forward (Narrated)…

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Date: October 22, 2007

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.


What is a pedophile?…

What is an atheist?…

…a humanist?…a boylover?…

Are they the typical stereotype you see on the news, read about in the papers and see on the movie screens?

Hello, I’m Steve Diamond.

In June of 2006, I began a personal project which I entitled, “In Self Defense…The life and times of an atheist boylover”.

My intention was simple…

…to provide a refreshingly clear look into the mind and heart of an actual pedophile, atheist and humanist.

…Clearing away the stereotypes, and banishing the stigmas, this work in progress aims to paint a picture of one man…a pedophile…an atheist…a boylover…an outcast…as he actually is.

The reader is left to experience, and come to terms with, what is presented here in.

These are “snap shots” of my life…of my ethics…my joys…my fears…my heartbreaks and anguish…my triumphs…of the way I relate to, and survive in, a hostile environment.

Much of this material is raw and full of emotion…and while I do refrain from using “vulgar language” most of the time, this is not always the case…Some issues call for such evocative words.

…You will experience the emotion and genuine care, flood through many of these passages.

There is no “road map” here…and since this project started out as a blog, that lended itself well towards allowing me to simply choose and expand on issues, as I felt prepared to talk about them.

Some parts are very short…others are very long…They include ethical concepts and definitions which are important to me…They are what I base my ethical codes upon, and influence how I live my life…Also included, are true stories from my own life…and glimpses into my life’s journey…and, of course, there are many passages, delving directly into issues of social conflict, which effect myself, as a pedophile and an atheist.

Presented is an outlook and a vision, as only some one of my particular set of circumstances and life experiences can express.

These works were never intended to attack anyone, in specific…though, several do attack certain types of behavior.

Portions of this work have been called, “thought provoking”, and “powerful”.

I hope you can find it within yourself, to approach this project with an open and clear mind…in order to discover, just why they have been called such.

I am not a stereotype…I am not a monster…I don’t want to hurt even one single child…

…I am a human being…I am a child lover…

Thank you for your interest…All thoughtful, respectful feedback is welcome.


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The Dedication…


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Date: October 22, 2007

When I think back across the years, certain names come to mind…

…names like, FatherGoose and boybuddy…

…names like, Enchidna and Mr. Sanders…

…names like, Bucky and Buffalo47…

…names like, Gandolfgrey and Big Daddy…

…names like, Weyland and Goodguy…

…names like, D.Y. and Varkilo…

…names like, Little Bro and Tyler P…

…names like, Innocent Child and Shinji Chan…

…names like, Cactus and Beachguy…

…names like, Eagle and midnite…

…names like, Jux and DK….

…names like, Johny Fever and JeffAB…

…names like, jm and Cub Cuddler…

…names like, Joel17 and Gort…

I could go on and on…and, indeed…I’ve made a mistake in even starting to list names at all…

…in that there is no way I will remember, every name chosen, by every fellow boylover, who has ever been important to me…or at least just been a really cool someone, who I liked “being around”.

Some of the people named above (and a few others), have been friends to me in ways, and at a personal level, I am not sure even they are aware of.

My friends…my inner circle, has selflessly given me so much, over the years…making me happy to be alive, and wanting to continue living. The strength, joy and friendship I was allowed to partake in from these bonds, is something I will hold onto dearly, until the day I die.

Some of you listened to my complaining and moaning, over and over about personal things which I would never speak of, openly on the boards where others could read them…when you never had to…

…You are my family…

The unprecedented acceptance and support you have shown me, is something which has changed my life…

…I thank each and every single one of you, who played a role in my journey, through this world of the boylover…

…and I dedicate what is my largest…most profound…and most personal project, to you…


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Video Games, Kids, Sex and Censorship…


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Date: October 15, 2007

Thousands of years of history in the existence of the human species, and thus far, kids learning about (and even having) sex, has failed to cause our species to come crashing down into extinction. In fact, despite a wide range of different approaches (cultural and time evolving over time eras), the combination of the topics of “kids” and “sex”, has had no ill consequence. Indeed, when kids learn about it, and become empowered by their knowledge, they are better able to navigate this part of their life.

Back when I was a very young teen, we had the commodore 64. Crappy graphics by today’s standards, but let me tell you, that was the golden age of video games. Because, it was the untamed universe, where games dealt with everything, including bold faced, “trashy” sex. I didn’t much care about these types (sex) of games, personally, but I loved that there was no censorship in this market. It was a freedom that did not exist elsewhere.

In AmeriKKKa, it has become a crime to conceptualize things which powerful groups don’t want being thought of, or about.

The pop psychologists say, “Don’t let any clue of sex befall your kids, or they will wilt and die!”, figuratively of course.

There is this general notion, that something as biologically natural as sex, is “devastating” to people, who have not attained the legal age of consent.

After decades of being told this, parents largely panic at the thought, that their kids might ever learn about what sex is, or what certain body parts are for, or the things that can be done with those parts.

Ultimately, this spelt disaster for the video game world, as self appointed elements from amongst the panicked, decided to start rating video games (like movies) and a form of censorship was imposed upon the video game market and all of its’ consumers.

Sure, yes, some “mature” games do get created and marketed, but, fewer and fewer dare to make the gamble. Some politicians are even treating game creators like criminals, over stupid, trivial nonsense (ie: “hot coffee”).

There is this notion, that video games are a “kids market”, and now there’s this notion of how dumbed down, and fluffy games must be made in order to be suitable for a “kids” consumption. So, today the video game market honestly feels like a barren, uncreative wasteland of garbage. Lots of stuff, where you almost feel embarrassed to even buy it, much less play it. The plots are so ridiculous and immature, in many games.

Some of us are starving to go back to the days of our own childhood, and relive the time when real stories were experienced, with truly raw and innovative plot lines.

The thing that disgusts me (and I could name specific examples), is those games which should have been more, which should have had the savage atmosphere, but the game designers held back because they couldn’t afford to risk all their work on a diminished market, because if they made their game what it should have been it would have gotten a “mature” rating.

It all comes back down to this insane phobia of sex, which special interests in AmeriKKKa are forcing upon everybody else.

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