Daily Archives: August 16, 2009

Certainly not all of us consider what you do…

Date: August 16, 2009

A little relic I found from 2009. Here I am responding to Michael Melsheimer, who had been experiencing a flurry of hostility on BoyChat [not entirely unlike what Observer faces], with regards to his efforts and B4U-ACT.

Although I’ve never been officially associated with B4U-ACT, I am amongst that group of BoyLovers, which has steadfastly supported the existence of B4U-ACT, since long before it was popular to do so [if it ever became so]…And what follows attests to this, as it harkens back to the early days of B4U-ACT…and I was taking a fairly strident controversial stand, risking some deal of alienation…The uproar within the BoyLove community, was very loud and aggressive, during this period of time…making this type of public stand, quite uncomfortable.

…BoyChat Response to Michael Melsheimer…

…BoyChat Response to Michael Melsheimer…

Certainly not all of us consider what you do…

…to be in “direct and irreconcilable conflict”, with our general stances on liberation, and social acceptance of the child/teen love class, and all who wrongly fall under malicious, anti-sex laws [including children/teens, themselves].

There are vast many casualties, in this war on sex…and a lot of different needs exist, because of this.

B4UACT, may be a far cry from “the silver bullet”, but this kind of project is valuable and has it’s place.

A few people who post here, have been unduly ruthless in their responses to you, and this project…which is unfortunate, because it gives the illusion, that a loud, pressuring minority, are setting the standards for who we will engage, how we will behave, what we will say and even “what” our goals/standards are.

Some of us, on the other hand, give a nod of approval…and I am one of those people.

No matter how “frivolous” some people may regard it, there should be a viable, safe alternative, for politically and socially vulnerable individuals, to seek out and attain competent, mental health services.

Some people just cannot cope, and at some point everything builds up to a point, overwhelming the individual.

Those who think it is “frivolous”, or “stupid”, or “laughable”, or that those finding themselves in such situations “should be abandoned”, “deserve it”, or “are not worthy, because they are so weak”…

…I have to question where their own heads are at, in this discussion.

As I have understood it, your project is there to help make mental health services safely available, for minor attracted persons. It takes no stance on sexual liberation, or changing the law.

Might I remind the greater community, that even some things we have hailed as “breakthroughs”, have taken either no stance, or a negative stance, as relates to making social, or legal, changes.

Even our cherished, “Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples [the Rind Report]”, comes out in unmistakable wording, in the report itself, stating that the researchers do not advocate any changes in law, or changes in how these kinds of cases are thought about and handled [aside from classification, to better categorise/treat them (which was the whole basis, behind the structure and methodology of the study)].

I’m sure some will suggest, that this is just a symbolic show of respectful submission, in hopes of deflecting some of the vitriol that was sure to follow…but, the fact remains.

Not everybody, nor everything, that is beneficial to our cause, plight and status, is going to march in lock-step with every one of our stances, when they have everything to lose and little [or nothing] to gain, by doing so.

I think it is grossly shortsighted, to lack this understanding…and it alienates us, all the more.

Dogma dies, through slow changes, not vast and sweeping ones.

I’m often reminded of a scene in the movie “Gladiator”, and the paraphrased quote…

…”There once was an idea so fragile, that the mere whisper of it would cause it to vanish.”

Though we are moving towards a tipping point, that line parallels where we have been, these past few decades…

…Now, we are getting to a point, where a lot of people who are not even BL/GL, yet they are merely dragged into this monstrosity of a “justice system”, are getting fed up with it, and very angry. A lot more people are becoming outraged, vocal and active. A lot more people, are declaring a sensible definition of terms like, “abuse”, “assault”, “violation”, “victim”, “predator”, and demanding that social politics be brought in line with reality.

Many of those people, do not think that loving a boy sexually, is okay…

…but, this momentum is good for us, and our important issues.

We don’t need to be at war with everybody, around every corner, and on every field…Doors open, and some of them are beneficial.

I am just wondering, how many of those who would attack anyone that steps forward, to do something positive on “our” behalf, would even recognise the potential for benefit, in any given opportunity that does not measure up to their dogmatic, strict standards.

Many people live in an ideological world, where “they” have “the correct” answers…but, when you look around, “their” world is going nowhere…”They” are just not honest enough, to admit it…nor admit that they are very comfortable, isolated in their “do nothing but complain” rut, because “nothing on the table ever being good enough, to warrant their participation”, makes an excellent cop out.

There are sensible, intelligent people, who oppose many of our viewpoints…These are not all lost causes to us, nor are they all beyond our reach as a helpful resource.

Michael, I think there are far more people, who understand, respect and appreciate what you are doing, than what a visit to the boards might suggest.