Oh, I don’t think ill of Mexico…

Date: June 21, 2010

[This is another response to the “living on social security, in another country” thread, which you may have already read…but, I thought was a worthwhile addition, here. This issue, really is something that has been on my mind, for years. I want to become an ex-patriot, at some point in my life…Living in the U.S.A., is not all it’s cracked up to be.]

I just think, there’s a lot of stereotypical stigma, surrounding the country, over situations like gangs, drugs, etc.

Obviously [or I hope so], if I didn’t personally think it safe enough, I would not entertain the idea [of living there] at all.

It’s others who I’ve shared these thoughts with, who don’t like it.

In short…I want to stop working, at some point in time…and before I fall over dead…I’d like to actually enjoy life, and have the free time to really do some things, I want/need to do.

This is really, just about the only legal option I can imagine taking place, that would give me this.

In the last five years, things have gotten so much more complicated…sustaining a nasty, spinal cord injury, which completely knocked the shit out of me…I’ve never been the same, or bounced back, since [I don’t really “walk” anymore, so much as lurch]…The levels and intensity of chronic pain since then [of which, I’ve spent to much of my life living in], are such that I never wanted to know this kind of pain even existed…Living in chronic, severe pain for weeks, even months, on end…it changes you, psychologically.

I’ve been living with screwy conditions, for just about half of my life, now [so long, it’s really driven me through some personal breaking points, because I am just sick of it, and how it limits me]…and now, I’m developing another hereditary condition, to boot…diabetes…This is hell…It’s the only real collection of things I’ve experienced, that can properly be called hell.

If I were a horse, they’d have taken me out into a pasture, and shot me by now…

Forgive me for all this blathering…but, these past few years have just been terrible, on a personal, financial, career, survival…whatever, basis.

More days than not, I just find myself wanting to lay down and die…wherever it is I am presently standing.

Consequently, I’m thinking much more deeply, over my options of possibly getting my current military disability rating greatly increased [which wont be easy, short of developing a serious, diagnosable , service related illness]…or looking into what social security benefits I may qualify for.

…and I’m also thinking, this wont add up to a lot of money.

…Which, of course, brings us back around to the best options, where the money will last the longest.

I love authentic Mexican food, by the way…even though it is terrible, for diabetics…

I’ve lost one of my great pleasures in life…eating wonderful foods [I was addicted to Italian, and Oriental, also]…This is hell…

…and some people say, “life only gets better”…

I need some option, to escape into.

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