In Limbo…

……
….

Date: October 24, 2011

“A Shout In The Ether”, is in limbo…

In the attached media, I go into a bit more detail…as to why I started “A Shout In The Ether”…

Obviously, it’s not really gone anywhere…and, that’s not entirely due to my sporadic level of posting here…I’ve been bouncing around a lot, on the issue of whether or not I even want this sort of thing out here in public, where anyone can read it. I’m extremely conflicted over it…Plus, I’ve cycled through phases, over and over…really needing to say some things, to one person in particular [plus, just needing to get some things out, on a personal level]…and then feeling like, it’s not the right thing to do…and, maybe, I don’t want just anybody to see this.

In a lot of ways…this project is about mourning the loss, of someone who I have loved dearly…It’s very painful…It’s very angering, some days…It’s also a lot of good memories…It’s a lot of unanswered questions…It’s a lot of inward reflections, too…

It’s been at least three years, since any meaningful contact has taken place with them…I’ve witnessed a hard to fathom betrayal…a lot of outbursts, and venom, leaving them unrecognizable to me…I cannot believe, they would hide behind a different name, and say some of the things they have said [even a few things they said to/about me]…It blindsided me…came out of nowhere…

…And I am still left asking, why they turned on a community which has done so much for them…

…Why do they shun us?…Including “me”…

…This is “Stevie”…Remember me, buddy?…I’m the one you thought to call, when you were separated from your family…I’m one of the people, who has opened themselves up to being outed, by keeping contact with you, while you were in prison…I’m the one, who didn’t forget your birthday…I’m the one, you’ve spent countless hours with, confiding all manner of things in…I’m the one, who’s written “poetry” and rhymes, just for you…We used to be mutual shoulders, to lean on…and no, contrary to your history revision, it was not all “you coddling people from BoyChat”…You had plenty enough issues to work through, and cry over, in your own right…I never turned you away…ever…Which is far more, than can be said in return…

…I thought, we were tighter than this…I never thought, things would end like this, between you and me…

I’m tired of things just left hanging, like this…Sometimes, it makes me feel like just going outside, and shouting at the sky…or space…That’s where the title of this collection originated from…

…You frustrate the fuck out of me, Sweet Meat…You know that?…

….

……………………………………………

Tell Us What You Think...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.