Daily Archives: August 11, 2013

Is the Law Always an Enemy?…

Date: August 11, 2013

01) The common law can help us

“I disagree with you, Steve, that law is always an enemy.”

…And I disagree with both that statement [“law is always an enemy”], and the premise behind it [that I’ve ever expressed this]…So, how are we in disagreement? 🙂

The law is very commonly a source of conflict…as a result there is a lot of complaining about it, but I have never believed or stated that the law is universally bad.

In a better world than this, laws would protect and support people like us…It is possible, yes.

Given as many years as I’ve been beating this drum, I would hope it is clear to most…even if much of my heart lies with anarchist and naturalist principles, I accept that legal systems are going nowhere…and we must work within them.

We have to begin from a base of mutual respect and understanding, however…otherwise, all of this is just meaningless talk…I suppose, this may be why I have a tendency towards blatant and bold representations and distinctions…And why I think they are so important…And why it bothers me so bad, when most fail to recognize certain important distinctions…Distinctions which should be obvious, blatant and bold, in my opinion.

I really don’t disagree with you in principle, Will…

…I just think a mainstream system of contracts is bound to shun, and sidestep a lot of us.

Is this what BoyLove means, when institutionalized in modern culture?

If so…that would be a tragedy, and another miscarriage of justice.

You can’t legislate the human, out of human beings. It is time for the legal system to stop beating its own head up against the wall [along with that of everyone else], trying to run in that direction.

It is time that even “the romantics” be respected as human beings, who make valid points and who have rights.

So long as we are causing no genuine harm…it is time the system learned to live with us, as we are.

The last thing I think would be helpful, is some system which is bound to end up acting like a de facto, pre-screened “relationship tribunal for pedophiles”…which also has far reaching financial stipulations and obligations.

…Who is going to be “good enough”?…What is the criteria?…

Whatever happened to the day, when people could just be and live?…and get along, based on the merits of their own nature?…

…Or did that day never exist?

…perhaps it should exist, for once.

Don’t say it is impossible…It honestly is not.

[Note: Thank you for the link, Will. I have some understanding on common law, but I’d be hard pressed to explain much about it…It’s been years, since I’ve done any reading about common law.]

Really Bad Apples…

Date: August 11, 2013

…They get feted out, naturally.

The thing about really bad apples, is that they are going to do their thing regardless. No amount of law is going to stop this…no matter how excessive the law.

One of the biggest faults of our society, is that it so commonly penalizes everybody, over the actions of the worst amongst us.

…Is it romanticizing the situation, to acknowledge this monumentally screwed up point?…

I think it is an entirely fair assessment.

Probably the single worst thing we are shackled with, and what keeps us down socially…is being blamed for every potentially bad thing, that could ever happen in any scenario involving both sex and a legal minor…

…It is a false blame, which we do not even deserve.

What is needed, is a truce and a mutual understanding amongst those of good character and will…A symbiotic relationship, can naturally grow from this…Bad apples, should never come between this…

…And society will deal with bad apples, in the same manner it usually does.

People should not be forced to stop living a meaningful life, on the argument that bad apples live amongst us in this world.

A good apple, should live free.

Parents Must Be On Board…

Date: August 11, 2013

Parents Must Be On Board

This should be etched into our own list of “ten commandments”, where it comes to seeking social change as Child-Lovers and Teen-Lovers.

There is no getting around the point, that parents are vital and important…They are allies to be sought after.

In an ideal setting, parents will recognize us as being an advantageous resource to them…an expansion of options, in raising their own children…We help ease burdens, and maybe find it easier to advise and care for the child [or teen] in ways the parent cannot, or does not want to.

We are not an adversary, nor a threat…We are like “an extra right arm”, as an old dear friend analogy goes…

I think, this is a message we should be promoting.

What of Experience for Its Own Meaning?…

Date: August 11, 2013

01) The price of our liberation

It’s not that I disagree with you in principle, Etenne…

…I just don’t see how I can defend something like this, if it is too rigid to allow for spontaneous experiences…or if it prohibits an open mind…or if it ends up having a class discrimination effect.

“I believe that we should be held legally responsible for our former young friend’s wellbeing. (Up to a certain age)”

I can’t disagree, that when you are intimately involved in someones life, you hold a certain responsibility to them…At the same time, I have to ask what “legally responsible for our former young friend’s well being. (Up to a certain age)” implies.

Does it mean we have to feed and clothe them?…have a spare bedroom for them?…pay the fines, if they get into legal trouble?…put them through college, and pay various living expenses throughout their early life?…

Of course…any decent BL would naturally do something of this nature, even if it were only on a small level…

…But isn’t the first and fundamental benefit offered by a BL, simply being that person who is older yet not a parent?…and being someone who offers a chance and a place, where things outside of the ordinary [for a boy] can happen?

These things should not be like getting married…They are simply part of human life…They should not be fouled up, by the legal system and judges, lawyers and contractual papers.

…Which comes to yet another issue…money, and the discrimination against those who don’t have it…or enough of it, to afford all of this

A BoyLover does not stop being a BoyLover, even if they live in deep poverty…A Boy does not stop being a Boy, no matter what their living conditions…Mutual needs can and should be met, no matter what social class the people involved find themselves in.

There must be checks and balances, and there must be an “out” alternative for all boys…there must be a way, to do outreach and to police our own communities [and I am talking about stopping the really messed up stuff, not micromanagement of everybodies life]…but creating a rigid contractual structure mired down in legal practice, in my opinion would greatly damage the heart of who and what we are…

…Some things in life just exist, for the sake of their own existence…No, you won’t die if you never experienced them, but it may be a tragic shame to have never had the choice…Some people find higher meaning in life…the most important meaning in life, through those kinds of experiences [whatever they may be]…You may have been robbed of something important to you, in the context of your own life, if you were prohibited from something you are naturally inclined towards…And by extension you may find that you have never truly lived, because you never had those experiences you needed in life.

I think, this is why humans are so widely different…No matter how “weird” you may be…if you look long and far enough, you will eventually find someone who matches your personality and your kinks…I think there is someone, and likely several someones, out there for everybody…It’s just a question of whether or not they will ever find each other…and whether or not it will be tolerated.

This is what being a BoyLover is all about…It is humans being human, in their own particular sort of way…We are a choice and an option, for certain kinds of life experience…not a market for the highest bidder on “boy tail”.

…Any contract or license imposed by the legal system, is meaningless…and a slap in the face, at best…It reminds me of the stories of black slaves who got their own freedom, yet still had to carry around legal papers to verify they were “free men”…Is that what we want?…Is that what we deserve?…Is that what is right?…Is that the way things should be?

There must be a wider social structure surrounding these types of relationships…But trying to bring the legal system into this, and have it govern private, intimate human relations?…Now that is truly perverse…

…And yes, I will go on the record as saying…these social contracts may have been promoted, and may have even worked out well over all, in ancient Greece and Rome [etc.]…but that hardly means that those are examples of Man/Boy love in a natural setting, amongst naturally inclined participants…and as such, I think they had their ethical shortcomings…and they perverted Man/Boy love in their own way…likely giving birth, to a lot of the stigma and baggage we suffer today.

I think trying to model a modern day social role for Man/Boy love based upon ancient Greece and Rome, would be bad…It is just a wrong direction, which commodifies human intimacy into a service exchanged for social advancement, instead of leaving it to the realm of personal life enrichment. People do not choose who they have sex with, and commonly don’t even want to have sex with their “partners”, in these kinds of arrangements.

…Human sexuality and human intimacy mean more than that…Or, at least they do in my eyes.

They mean, “I will choose you, if you will choose me”…They mean, two people fitting together and filling each others needs…. They mean discovering and growing together, as humans…They mean nurturing and fulfillment.

Sex at its best, is the exchange of loving sensations…It is a healing experience…If you are an actual lover, then this is your ultimate focus and goal when having sex.