Date: December 15, 2013
This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
“Activist pedophiles have been fighting this battle for more than fifty years. Many are eloquent. Many are clever. They have had no success.”
You know…I am not opposed to VP doing their own thing…but I have just got to take exception, whenever anybody [especially amongst “our own kind”] sums up the roots of this movement as “fifty years of no success”…
As to the “fifty years of failed activists”…
This may not seem like much…but I, for one, am grateful to those “failures”, and indebted for the “fifty years of failed wisdom” some of them have imparted upon me…giving me some meaning of not just personal identity…but self worth, and a vision of having a rightful place in this world.
If that is a “failure”…then I will consider it a privilege, to go set with “the failures”…
The “radicals” have done more for me on a personal level, than anybody else in any branch of this movement.
You can argue that maybe it hasn’t been much…But I would argue, it has meant everything, and it has been one of the most substantive enrichments of my life from any source at all…
As a recovering Baptist, who long ago left religion [and theism, also]…I would even rank what I gained from this movement, above whatever demonstrably good influences religion once might have brought into my life.
What I have today, is hope and a sense of self worth…In no small part, this is thanks to “the failures”.
For all the stones that are so, so, so easy to throw at these incredible people, who have lived as social and political punching bags much of their lives…there is so much more depth and wisdom, which they have given to the world…Those who don’t see it, are either blind or boldly in denial [and just because this may describe most of society, does not mean that we should side with them, in their ignorance and wrongfulness].
I don’t see taking the stand that they took, as being a failure…Even if you never get anywhere, or you even go down in a blaze…for the love of everything that is good and decent, somebody needs to stand up for unpopular truth when nobody else will.
So maybe it has been “fifty years” of spinning our wheels…but 200 years from now [500?…750?…1000?], when history is looking back on our long and storied struggle…and maybe even some of our writings, recordings and other productions have survived, in the record archives…I’d be willing to wager, that a substantial number of people will be grateful, to “the failures” who selflessly put themselves on the line, and kept the fight alive in pursuit of the better world future generations will be living in…even when “the failures” knew they had little hope, of seeing this new world themselves.
These “failures”, are the most true of heroes this movement has ever seen, or ever will see.
Even if that future vision sounds overly optimistic…I will still vouch for the success of these alleged “failures”. In my eyes, from my vantage point…they have been successful in one of the most meaningful of pursuits, known by all oppressed minorities…passing forward our own social identity, wisdom and history, so that it is not lost.
Date: December 14, 2013
Note: I don’t consider sexually overbearing behavior [ie: unwanted repeat advances] to be appropriate. Such does not fit into my own code of ethics. I interpret what is described in the linked article, as a byproduct of a culture which isolates and ill equips people of various sexual inclinations, to successfully navigate social relationships…but I want to stress that I am very sympathetic to the complicated circumstances described in the linked article…And I do not want to dismiss or devalue the authors own pain and conflict, in any way. Though I don’t necessarily mean this in the exact same way that others might expect…I find it tragic, that her circumstances found no satisfactory resolution. What follows is not even addressing her personal experience [an account which could make for some deep discussion, no doubt]…but it responds to the increased, broad reaching usage of the term “rape culture”.
“Rape Culture” is a terminology which I more frequently keep running into these days.
Maybe, after a lifetime of witnessing the relentless bludgeoning on male sexuality…and on many forms of sexuality thought to be unconventional…maybe I am just completely sick to death, with the “finger wagging” language…with those accusatory labels thrown about all too liberally, with little care for nuance or level headed honesty and fairness…Maybe I am just predisposed to revulsion towards anything so far reaching, as to dictate an entire culture [or behavior in human sexuality] “a facet of rape”…
…Maybe I have been run dry of tolerance, for those words and behaviors which no longer simply allow humans to harmlessly be humans, without working to sully, degrade, injure and shame them in their humanity?…
…but I see the term “rape culture” as being little more than extreme hyperbole…Just another thing to be clubbed over the head with, for being “too perverted” for somebody else’s tastes.
…And it is offensive…
…It is deeply offensive and injurious for many of us to a degree which cannot even be calculated, for our sexuality [and all expressions or hints of it] to be dictated “some form of rape or assault”. It is not merely an invasion of our entire lives and our very sense of mental balance…but it is a violation of them…Those of us relentlessly targeted by these assaults all throughout our lives…we suffer in very real, very deep ways…from not just what it tares out of our lives…but the extremely ruthless things it inflicts upon us…no matter if you run foul of law and customs, or not.
Sexual outcasts suffer every bit as much psychologically, as genuine rape victims…And I wish more people would come to understand this point…I mean…we have gotten much, much better, with regards to the very base variety of gays and lesbians…and being sympathetic to their plight…what they commonly have to endure, growing up from child to adult and beyond…just for supposedly “being born wrong”…
…What society continues to fail at realizing…is that the many other social groups who are also guilty of supposedly “being born wrong”, go through the exact same journey of psychological hell…Only, our social groups don’t have the Dan Savages of this world to tell us all “it gets better”…Quite the contrary…we have endless parades of politicians and anti sex activists, who relentlessly bash us, assault us with hate speech and dehumanizing hate propaganda, passing and lobbying for laws that target an ever increasing range of our mere presence on this planet.
We have virtually nothing, to act as a social support structure…and what little we do have, there are vicious, ignorant people constantly trying to destroy [even if it is clearly of benefit to all]. So many of us [from child to adult] are just isolated…and even more so, when we really need the personal guidance and support…from people who know and understand, exactly what we are going through.
…Instead, the “role models” society and pop culture chooses to force down our throats, are kidnappers, child rapists and child murderers…people extremely violent and abusive towards children…imposing upon our psyche from a very young age…”this is what we are”…”that is what we will do”…
…A complete load of rubbish…for which I harbor an entirely justified anger towards society…The way it has psychologically raped such a vast range and number of humans [including my kind] for merely being sexual beings…it truly is a crime against humanity, which has far reaching impact on all of society itself.
Will we collectively ever wise up and change course, in the face of such a clearly abysmal failure in human and social relations policy?…Can society even see, what is in its own best interest?
You know…what I dread most…is that all of us are just going to remain in our own self centered mindsets…talking about our own limited range of issues…all the while failing to discover the necessity of reaching out to others…of understanding those others…of valuing those others…of welcoming those others into the fold…of taking everybody’s issues seriously…of affording mutual respect as a cultural default…of actually doing something about the suffering of others [even the unconventional] and the wrong done to them, to help alleviate it…
I question whether or not we will collectively rise above the hate and phobia…and realize that it is only hurting everybody, when any of us or all of us remain at each others throats…
…Will you ever see me, or anybody at all like me, for the human being that I am?…Or are you just going to throw around intellectually dishonest terms like “rape culture”, and all the other innuendo and hate speech, to conceal the real individuals that we are?
The USA does not have a rape culture…In fact, just the opposite is true…It has a hyperactive, hyper phobic, hypersensitive culture, ravenously eager to call every sexual thing supposedly out of the ordinary, “rape”, “assault”…”a crime”…”indecent”…”immoral”…”a threatening epidemic”…
If the USA ever finds its intellectual scruples…these bits and pieces of hyperbole will be relegated, to the records of our own embarrassing past…where they can be forgotten…
…Because honest people do not need them, and find the harmful usage of them to be offensive…