“Rape Culture”: What Do You Think?…

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Date: December 14, 2013

…A plea for a paradigm shift away from America’s rape culture…

…A plea for a paradigm shift away from America’s rape culture…

Note: I don’t consider sexually overbearing behavior [ie: unwanted repeat advances] to be appropriate. Such does not fit into my own code of ethics. I interpret what is described in the linked article, as a byproduct of a culture which isolates and ill equips people of various sexual inclinations, to successfully navigate social relationships…but I want to stress that I am very sympathetic to the complicated circumstances described in the linked article…And I do not want to dismiss or devalue the authors own pain and conflict, in any way. Though I don’t necessarily mean this in the exact same way that others might expect…I find it tragic, that her circumstances found no satisfactory resolution. What follows is not even addressing her personal experience [an account which could make for some deep discussion, no doubt]…but it responds to the increased, broad reaching usage of the term “rape culture”.

“Rape Culture” is a terminology which I more frequently keep running into these days.

Maybe, after a lifetime of witnessing the relentless bludgeoning on male sexuality…and on many forms of sexuality thought to be unconventional…maybe I am just completely sick to death, with the “finger wagging” language…with those accusatory labels thrown about all too liberally, with little care for nuance or level headed honesty and fairness…Maybe I am just predisposed to revulsion towards anything so far reaching, as to dictate an entire culture [or behavior in human sexuality] “a facet of rape”…

…Maybe I have been run dry of tolerance, for those words and behaviors which no longer simply allow humans to harmlessly be humans, without working to sully, degrade, injure and shame them in their humanity?…

…but I see the term “rape culture” as being little more than extreme hyperbole…Just another thing to be clubbed over the head with, for being “too perverted” for somebody else’s tastes.

…And it is offensive…

…It is deeply offensive and injurious for many of us to a degree which cannot even be calculated, for our sexuality [and all expressions or hints of it] to be dictated “some form of rape or assault”. It is not merely an invasion of our entire lives and our very sense of mental balance…but it is a violation of them…Those of us relentlessly targeted by these assaults all throughout our lives…we suffer in very real, very deep ways…from not just what it tares out of our lives…but the extremely ruthless things it inflicts upon us…no matter if you run foul of law and customs, or not.

Sexual outcasts suffer every bit as much psychologically, as genuine rape victims…And I wish more people would come to understand this point…I mean…we have gotten much, much better, with regards to the very base variety of gays and lesbians…and being sympathetic to their plight…what they commonly have to endure, growing up from child to adult and beyond…just for supposedly “being born wrong”…

…What society continues to fail at realizing…is that the many other social groups who are also guilty of supposedly “being born wrong”, go through the exact same journey of psychological hell…Only, our social groups don’t have the Dan Savages of this world to tell us all “it gets better”…Quite the contrary…we have endless parades of politicians and anti sex activists, who relentlessly bash us, assault us with hate speech and dehumanizing hate propaganda, passing and lobbying for laws that target an ever increasing range of our mere presence on this planet.

We have virtually nothing, to act as a social support structure…and what little we do have, there are vicious, ignorant people constantly trying to destroy [even if it is clearly of benefit to all]. So many of us [from child to adult] are just isolated…and even more so, when we really need the personal guidance and support…from people who know and understand, exactly what we are going through.

…Instead, the “role models” society and pop culture chooses to force down our throats, are kidnappers, child rapists and child murderers…people extremely violent and abusive towards children…imposing upon our psyche from a very young age…”this is what we are”…”that is what we will do”…

…A complete load of rubbish…for which I harbor an entirely justified anger towards society…The way it has psychologically raped such a vast range and number of humans [including my kind] for merely being sexual beings…it truly is a crime against humanity, which has far reaching impact on all of society itself.

Will we collectively ever wise up and change course, in the face of such a clearly abysmal failure in human and social relations policy?…Can society even see, what is in its own best interest?

You know…what I dread most…is that all of us are just going to remain in our own self centered mindsets…talking about our own limited range of issues…all the while failing to discover the necessity of reaching out to others…of understanding those others…of valuing those others…of welcoming those others into the fold…of taking everybody’s issues seriously…of affording mutual respect as a cultural default…of actually doing something about the suffering of others [even the unconventional] and the wrong done to them, to help alleviate it

I question whether or not we will collectively rise above the hate and phobia…and realize that it is only hurting everybody, when any of us or all of us remain at each others throats…

…Will you ever see me, or anybody at all like me, for the human being that I am?…Or are you just going to throw around intellectually dishonest terms like “rape culture”, and all the other innuendo and hate speech, to conceal the real individuals that we are?

The USA does not have a rape culture…In fact, just the opposite is true…It has a hyperactive, hyper phobic, hypersensitive culture, ravenously eager to call every sexual thing supposedly out of the ordinary, “rape”, “assault”…”a crime”…”indecent”…”immoral”…”a threatening epidemic”…

If the USA ever finds its intellectual scruples…these bits and pieces of hyperbole will be relegated, to the records of our own embarrassing past…where they can be forgotten…

Because honest people do not need them, and find the harmful usage of them to be offensive

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2 thoughts on ““Rape Culture”: What Do You Think?…

  1. Ritsuka

    Rape culture isn’t about looking down on differing sexualities and calling people perverts for liking something deemed “taboo”.

    Rape culture is about “no means yes”, and “what a slut”, and “she was asking for it”.

    I think the problem here is that people have been wrongly using rape culture against MAP in the way that any attraction to young people/any sexual activity is rape, and that any argument you use against it is a part of rape culture. The problem here is that they are using that logic in the wrong place, because they don’t understand fully what they are talking about. As in, they know about rape culture (which is totally valid), but they know nothing about the childs right to consent and MAP.

    I would suggest you learn what rape culture is actually meant to address. I could link some posts if you like. Its basically a culture that is built to support rape (even though many don’t realize). In the way of court systems being harder on the victim then the attacker and making it more about the victims lifestyle then the other persons actions, and other such things. It really is a great piece of knowledge to understand. The problem is its been unjustly and wrongly used against you.

    I really don’t blame you for coming to think of it the way you have with how it was likely used. But that is definitely not what rape culture is. In fact, I find it sort of rape culturey that people don’t let kids own their bodies and sexuality….In a weird, weird, way.

    And what you talk about, the issues you address, definitely don’t mirror rape culture. Its a mistake people make upon thinking all child sex is rape, and anyone wanting to do it is sick and twisted, that leads people to wrongly connecting the too. I hope this makes sense.

    Reply
    1. eqfoundation Post author

      It makes sense, yes…Thank you for your thoughts on this, Ritsuka.

      You are more than free to post those links.

      In general, I think I do understand the proper definition of the term “rape culture”…But what I get very uncomfortable with, is the extremely liberal usage of the term…And I have to confess, I have a lot of fatigue with the “angry feminist issues”, championed by people who want to take the world by storm and “right all wrongs”…Everybody is an angry victim out for righteous justice, because “they’ve been wronged and the world is against them”…and it’s finally their day, to tell everybody else “what is what”…

      That is a little bit of a tangent there…and I am not against feminism [ie: equality and respect for females], in principle…nor do I generally dislike feminists…Just to be clear about that…I believe the coining of “rape culture” was their brainchild.

      I agree it is a real thing, and even have stated so much in an older post on this blog…

      https://ourlovefrontier.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/hey-babe-has-lego-gone-rape-culture/

      …So, I would never try to argue that there aren’t real social problems to be addressed…And that Lego post, probably describes much better my perspective on genuine rape culture. It is valid where true rape is occurring, and social conduct is such that it protects true rape as a cultural norm…or encourages anybody to be a rapist [certain eastern countries come to mind, where “an immodestly dressed woman is asking to be raped”, and rapists are commonly not held accountable for their crime].

      I am the last person who is going to claim that US culture is perfect or the best…but knowing what I do know about the laws, about victims’ organizations and about victims’ rights in this country…I think it is an amazing stretch, to equate a country that overwhelmingly sympathizes and sides with the victims [of all sorts of things] with rape culture…Whether the people who get caught up into the system factually raped someone or not…their fate is generally awful. I don’t believe that the system is in any way “good”, to those accused of sexual offenses…This is almost certainly the most aggressively penalized class of crime today, in the US. I don’t see how that can at all be seen as “rape tolerant”.

      Yes…I suppose the issue is deeper than just the legal system.

      And I take your point about the prohibition on children owning their own sexuality…It is certainly something I agree with. A time or two in the past, I have written pieces that creatively use the word “rape”, in order to illustrate a point about what it can psychologically do to a child trying to sever them from their own sexuality. I do equate this as a form of psychological rape…And I agree, the practice could be argued as a wider form of rape culture…It is invading someone’s personal life, and stripping from them something which should be their own to give and receive…Not to forget, it also tends to go hand in hand, with keeping children and teens very ignorant and vulnerable, on many matters of sexual situations. Many children being raped literally, do not even realize they are being raped…nor do they know what to do about it…There is something very wrong in that.

      Reply

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