Daily Archives: June 1, 2014

Would you have me cease?…


Date: June 01, 2014

01) BoyChat Post

…I break some of the rules of security, that is true…

Mostly, this is because I see no long term future, especially not for myself…and things are all going to end in the same place…silence. Because of this, I choose to use what resources are available, to stand for something while I still can.

After the last couple of years…I honestly did not believe I was still going to be around today…I thought I was going to be dead.

When your vantage point shifts…your perspective shifts…and you start to see things differently…Some things just don’t matter so much, anymore [if at all]…Other things are…well…they are what gets left behind, which embody what ones existence meant…who they were, and what they offered this world…why they fought back.

When I left BoyChat several years ago…an underlying reason was personal turmoil…When I came back, it was a meaningful return [to me, anyway]…yet I had changed, and I knew that BoyChat could no longer fulfill, or house, what I needed…nor provide for the ongoing journey I needed to take…This is one of the reasons, why I started doing so much activity, off of BoyChat. Not only did I want to evolve into new mediums this place could not host…I also felt it was unfair of me, to use this place for what some would likely say was self promotion…A lot of what I was doing, just does not fit here…which is one of the many reasons, I needed my own place online, which is decidedly not BoyChat.

I have evolved and grown into someone, who exists every bit as much in the blogosphere [maybe even more so, after all these years], as I ever have on BoyChat…I’ve grown more connected to what is “out there”, than I am to what is here…And being “out there”, I intermingle with an audience including of people like us, which exists “out there”…as well as of people, who may not be inclined to come to places like this.

…Am I to walk away from this?

It means more to me, than I can put into words.

…and I don’t have a lot of other options, regarding what I can positively do in this world…If I give this up, I might as well be dead.

I just spent the past week largely bedridden, because I was in constant pain and could barely move my legs…could not stand…could not set…and it was part of a larger month plus, of chronic trouble of this nature…likely the biggest factor, as to why so many posts happened at my blog, come to think of it [I have a bed desk, a PC sets on top of]…My true options in life are severely hampered and limited.

What I do online, is my way of diverting my attention to all the messed up things in my life…and re-focusing it on constructive things, which I can still do relatively well.

To those who get creeped out by it…I apologize for my use of twitter, an instant chat box…or even just having a blog…Maybe our lives are on very different trajectories…and maybe we just have to agree, that we each have to weigh our own choices for ourselves…and maybe a lot of people should not visit my blog, if they feel it is a security risk to themselves.

For me…I will not use Skype…I’ve never had any interest in using facebook…but I find twitter very useful…and there is also a thriving community of us on twitter…If a better twitter alternative arrives, then I am all ears and happy to check it out…

…Maybe we could build one, ourselves?…after all, there was a lot of discussion about Free Spirits having it’s own blogging service, a handful of years back…why not a micro blog, too?

To be totally clear…I’ve never been at a point, where I was prepared to totally drop what I am doing “out there”, for the explicit purpose of rushing here upon the opening of such a resource…but that doesn’t mean I’d have nothing to do with it, or that I am not disappointed to know that it has still not materialized…I actually took up with wordpress, because I was tired of waiting…otherwise, I might have made the jump then.

I know it is alienating, being “out there”…and I know it is frustrating, when trolls come here who open up facebook accounts, youtube accounts, etc, trying to get people to visit them…it manifests an atmosphere of distrust…As someone who has been doing this sort of thing for about eight years now, and who is established in this community…I look upon that, as mud thrown at the rest of us who are legitimate.

I don’t know if anything I have said here makes a difference…but I wanted to explain, in part, why I have chosen to take up with a service like twitter, etc…

It is not recommended for all.