Daily Archives: June 3, 2014

Having gone through several decades of BL life…

Date: June 03, 2014

01) BoyChat Thread

Summary: Anonymous poster claims to have been placed on antidepresents, and after two weeks lost all attraction to boys, having said attractions replaced by attraction to adults.

Having gone through several decades of BL life…

…I can attest to the fact, that sexual phases are something which most of us go through.

When I was about 22 years old…I experienced this very dark, detached and hazy time in my life [which I believe was connected to my service in the gulf war of 1991]. I could barely stay awake…I could not concentrate, or retain information for more than a matter of seconds [which decimated the hell, out of my college aspirations]…and I also had this peculiar thing going on…I could not become sexually aroused, at all.

Mind you…just a few years earlier, I was at my sexual peak as a male…and then, suddenly, I could no longer get an erection…and I effectively had no sexual desire…As this went on, I spent a ton of time sleeping and everything was a blur, so it didn’t occur to me just how much time had passed…

…But then at some point, I realized it had been upwards of a year, since I had even experienced any sort of sexual stimulation…and it really started to bother me, not knowing what was going on.

My doctor dismissed it…saying this sort of thing was normal, for males leaving that phase of their life [getting past their sexual peak]…but I never believed, that a total loss of ones sex drive at age 22, is at all normal…and I don’t believe they honestly understood the extent of what I was experiencing…It just was not there, at all…and would not return for…probably a year and a half…a couple of years…and then, it only slowly came back.

You know how it is, that I know I am a BoyLover?…

…Even after this extended absence from sexual stimulation…as things returned, my attractions were the same as they were before.

Now…I have never returned to how I was prior to that event in my life…though I have rebounded somewhat…I do have anomalous periods, where I can be almost like I was at eighteen, and be very sexually aroused multiple times over, over the span of a week…but those are very rare…

…More common, is for me to go for windows of time…a month…month and a half…two months…without having any personal need to attend to my sexual needs…

One point in all of this sharing…is that two weeks is no time at all…It is not something on which to base any judgment, whether you are “changed” or not.

Another point, is that we go through a lot of things in life…some deeply impacting, some not so much…It is important not to hang such a heavy reliance upon these things. Maybe they effect us…Maybe they don’t…Maybe their effect is temporary, or short lived.

A last point…is that we can have tendencies to fool ourselves, when something in our lives has changed…and that change of balance has caused us to become more distant, from the reality of who we are.

I’ve had extended periods in my life [including during my current life, today]…where sexual attraction to boys was literally absent from my life. Does this mean that I have ever not been a BoyLover?…I would say no, it does not mean that at all.

It means I am a BoyLover with a very low sex drive.

Why is it always “an addiction” when it’s taboo?…

Date: June 03, 2014

01) Bloomingdale man gets probation for child porn

“Bloomingdale man Pavel V. Logvin first stumbled upon child pornography in 2000 by accident, prosecutors said, and eventually his curiosity got the better of him and it became an addiction. By 2004, prosecutors said, Logvin admitted to becoming a “download freak.”

Why is it always “an addiction” when it’s taboo?…

…Is someone trying to create a buffer between what they have done and their own culpability?…Maybe playing the sympathy card?

Mind you…I am mindful, that in our particular circumstances of total experience deprival…it is understandable, that some do become obsessed when they stumble upon an unexpected source of child porn.

This may be a fair observation…I am just less comfortable with this notion, when we are talking about what likely amounts to a persons singular [or at least extremely limited] sexual outlet.

…Are heterosexual males “addicted to vagina”, also, because they keep going back to it so often?

It comes off ludicrous to me.

02) In Response to This


…but I’ve also encountered this happening amongst the religious, who have a guilty conscience about accessing legal porn.

They call their attraction to this content “an addiction”.

It is not for me to say, whether or not an individual can be addicted to such a thing…But I have to think, there are more factors playing into the development of this sort of obsession, than merely an individuals natural tendencies towards sex.

I would suggest, in reality…it is just something normal, to be attracted to these things…but the usage of it is greatly stoked, by other contributing factors.

Maybe it does become a problem…And, maybe, absent those other contributing factors, it becomes no problem at all.

As to your point…yes…I agree, it is possibly a less bad alternative, to our wholesale demonization…

…At the same time, however, it serves as a more sanitized rounding up, and shackling of our kind. No, there is nothing new about them calling us mentally ill…but the stronger emphasis on this social concept, is a relatively new development.

I am the last person, who is going to look down on a BoyLover seeking help, when experiencing real mental health problems…And I could not say, that this guy didn’t have some mental health issues going on with him, which might make the implication appropriate…

…The trend to call these sorts of things “addictions”, and treat them like a mental illness, still does not set well with me.

…It is way to unaccounted for.

03) In Response to This

Acknowledging Degrees of Usage…

Thank you for posting this, Kristofor…

Of course…it is not my intent, to suggest that nobody can become addicted to something like pornography…

…Maybe a better way to phrase this…is questioning whether “normal” people using “normal” porn at a high degree, would be judged by the same standard, as those of us who are not so inclined towards the “normal” stuff.

I know a number of cases have arose, regarding addiction to legal porn…and I will accept, that when something takes over your life, it is a problem…maybe even an addiction.

What I am more hesitant to embrace, is what feels like a trend to side step all the issues surrounding “people like us”…and this obsessive trend to reframe everything about us, into terms of “mental illness” and “dysfunction”.

It’s very popular amongst those getting caught in the act, to default with “I have a problem…Please help me.”…It is too popular, in my opinion…even though I know they are in an impossible situation, and likely just saying what they know others want to hear.

…And are we to presume that everyone found with a stash of child porn larger than some pre-determined number, is suffering from a mental illness?

Some people are die hard archivists…and they want to secure and preserve as much of a certain kind of content, as they possibly can.

If you had an opportunity to peruse my hard drive…you might think me a bit nutty, when witnessing the sheer volume of other people’s stuff, which I have saved copies of…all legal stuff, of course…

…In fact, I’d actually like to find good database software, to help me organize and manage it…but could never make heads or tales of it all, when I went looking at the download websites.

04) Responding to This

What I was trying to put into words…is a personal discomfort with this social trend, to equate these kinds of social taboos, with some type of mental illness…and/or lack of personal control.

A lot of people throw themselves into things which are not common…but when are we justified in calling that mentally ill [or uncontrollable] behavior?

I agree with what you say, Hajduk.