Date: June 23, 2014
Thank you to Alain Manés [@Alain_Manes]…
I am actually quite familiar with Nigel’s videos…I even went so far, as to ask his permission to feature them on my website, several years back…
I’ve yet to share them here…and now is a fine time to do so, since you reminded me about them.
I’ll offer these here, without comment…I need to call it a night, right now…
…But these are all worthy of attention…There is a lot of great discussion here.
I wish Nigel was still active.
Date: June 23, 2014
Note: “Observer” is one registered name, used by David L. Riegel of SafeHaven Foundation on BoyChat.
It is time to stick a fork in it, people…This obsessive nit picking and rock throwing at Observer, needs to end. The only thing you are establishing with this behavior of yours, is what ugly and imature people you are. This behavior helps nobody, and it degrades all of us.
I’ve done this once previously, and I’ll do it again.
I’ve met Observer on two occasions, during a brief period of time. I found Observer to be pleasant, respectful and engaging. Observer did not reflect the malicious things, which one or two people have been claiming about him on BoyChat for years.
While we don’t have frequent correspondence, I do look upon Observer as being a friend, generally speaking.
I’ve had limited engagement with SafeHaven Chat. However, the experience was well laid out and explained, prior to my offering anything to post…It got posted, no problems, just with a delay for moderation…I found the experience to be quite straight forward, and understood while approaching this resource, that it’s focus was far more limited than that of BoyChat. Over all, the experience was what I expected…and I possessed the intuition and self control that allowed me to conduct my behavior there, in accordance with the boards rules and culture. Hence, I encountered no problems.
I don’t know Observer on an intimate level…We have never discussed a lot of personal stuff…I don’t know him, like I’ve known others from here…where there was daily interaction for years, with some…
When you get to know people that closely…yes, you get to know that they are all too human…and they have a grocery list of their own problems, warts and odors…[and as a side note…If you are fortunate and perceptive, then you love them as a friend, despite all of these things]…
Like so many of the rest of us…I expect that Observer has gotten closer to some people, than the rest of us…And as the mutual exposure mixed on, personalities did not always mesh together so perfectly…Heads sometimes butted…and someone stormed off, with a vendetta.
I’m not at liberty to start rattling off, what bits of information I have gleaned from the many years of attacks on Observer…But suffice it to say…I figured out, that a young, unnamed, ambitious researcher linked up with Observer [to one degree or another]…and the two of them apparently had different visions, of what they were going to be doing together…
They parted ways…the unnamed researcher embittered…Claims were made, Observer tried to control and manipulate their career…
As things have continued on…claims of this unnamed researcher now getting overshadowed by the efforts of Observer, have been surfacing…
Observer is [and has been for years] being characterized as incompetent, and as someone providing garbage material for publishers, so that publishers can avoid accepting the unnamed researchers work.
…Mind you…Observer took up his efforts most stringently, at a time when progress in this field had fallen off the edge of a cliff…Observer was well invested…His motives are very clear, and blatantly understandable. Observer cannot be faulted, in pressing forward into the abyss. Like so many of us, Observer was just doing something, what he could, to attempt bettering this world.
I look at the relentless bludgeoning of Observer, as one of the single most disgraceful spectacles in BoyChats history. This is what happens, when someone steps forward and does something concrete in this world…And this type of behavior, is at the crux of why we will remain in the gutters of society…for the foreseeable future.
Observer may not be perfect…but his open actions on this board over the years, have not supported this contention that “Observer is impossible to work with”. In fact, I would say they have overwhelmingly dispelled this accusation.
The only person [or persons] who seem to be unable to work with Observer…are those who show up here with throw away nicks, behaving belligerently and clearly trying to constantly pick a fight…
…a burdensome, pathetic, embarrassing spectacle, which has been mercilessly dragging on for…over a decade, now?…I don’t even know how long…an insanely long time. Most people would have grown up, gotten over it, and moved on long down the road by now.
…Which is why this has gotten attention from me in the past…Not only has this behavior well exceeded it’s welcome [or community tolerance]…but the persons behind it cant seem to take a clue, and are obviously [in a painfully stark way] intent on propagating sociopathic behavior on BoyChat…As though we aren’t all subjected to this too much, in the rest of the world.
I can accept that people got on each others nerves, and ultimately on each others bad side. What is beyond tolerable, is this obsessive case of sour grapes and dragging dirty laundry all over BoyChat…relentlessly, add nausea…Relentless baiting and cats paws, even in the subject lines and name fields…It’s all over the BoyChat index…It is not even contained to the body of posts, where most of us who want to ignore it can.
People who chronically behave like that, are a nuisance to this community.
…And the sad thing is…I cannot even cite any instance, where most of these individuals have constructively added to building up this community. The only thing I see coming from these “throw away” and attack nicks, is venom spewing and tearing people and efforts down.
They have offered nothing to substantiate and solidify their own relevance or importance…It’s all just vague, self glorifying innuendo, that they are somehow part of the “in the know” crowd…or that they are connected to “the real activists who mean anything at all”…
I’ve seen this exact same behavior for years, out of common trolls who employ demoralization tactics. And they have offered no reason I can see, to consider them anything but trolls of that nature.
If by some chance they are being serious…I implore them to take a look around, and realize how their behavior has made them look to so many of the rest of us here…and how so many of us have been left feeling degraded and ashamed, by their behavior on this board [which reflects horribly on our community].
They may not care…They may consider themselves above the rest of us…They may think, that what any of the rest of us has to say or offer is utterly worthless…
…but social change of the people never comes at the hands of researchers…It comes at the level of the human heart…
…And all of us screwballs out here, who are trying to build social bridges and spread openness and understanding…the substance of our actions will always trump the numbers, statistics and papers which you churn out…
What researchers do may be important…but it is a universal leap, from what is most important in this world.
Don’t let your head grow too fat, just because you’ve got lots of certificates hanging on your wall…
It is always the “worker ants” who propel social change at it’s roots…not the ivory tower elites, who are full of themselves.
If that sort of elite is looking on right now…take note…I do not want you representing me in any way, shape or form…You are unfit to represent me, or speak on my behalf…and I will not have you.
With regards to any connection to me…You are fired and disowned.
It is high time for a two way road of mutual respect…If you cant muster that, then stop mucking up the path, and go pursue something else where you can actually be of use.
…A “real researcher” who cannot manage to get his own research published anywhere [and who is curiously nameless and faceless], blames Observer for “crowding him out”…because of the infrequent papers Observer publishes…
…Oh, excuse me…Observer is serving as a…”block-whatever”…and enabling publishers to get away with sidestepping “the real researchers” superior work…Boy, those publishers must be real scumbags, if they are actively trying to avoid publishing accredited researchers, and degrading the integrity of their own publications by doing so.
As a side note…even in the wake of “the Rind report scandal”…the very same research managed to get reproduced and published twice over somewhere, didn’t it?…Hmmmm…
…Does everyone else here realize just how loony tunes, bat shit insane, the whole story behind this endless public tantrum is?
It is no wonder why virtually nobody behind it, will link a name they have any vested history/identity in, to their behaviors in this campaign of theirs.
They wont stand behind what they say, in any substantive way…What does that tell you?
…And we are expected to trust this person [or persons], when we have no reason?…and when everything about their own behavior screams, “Don’t trust them!”?
If you are not going to bring it…then get off the stage.
Hell…if you are so important to research in the first place, then what are you doing here, behaving like this at all?…If you ever got exposed to the public, you would become even a bigger disaster to us than you already are.
Observer is one of scantly few people I can name from this community, who has concretely stepped up and gone to bat on our behalf. Observer spent well over a year, maybe two, traveling all over the place at risk to his life and person, to collect research data…Many of us, Observer did not even know, when he met us face to face…
He could have been betrayed…abducted and murdered…assaulted…
Let’s be clear, here…There may be personality conflicts, and a lot of immaturity flying about BoyChat…But Observer has solidified his upstanding stature in this community. He has earned respect, even when a few here refuse to give it to him.
Date: June 23, 2014
“…The heart-wrenching video shows little Gino Valentine, 8, finding a white envelope, addressed to him, under the headstone above his father’s grave.
Unaware the letter was written by his mother, little Gino opens the envelope and begins to read: “Hi Gino, thank you for coming to see me on Father’s Day…”
I generally take a dim view of this sort of thing…I want to be a little bit sympathetic, though.
The mother is a product of her environment, like anybody else. Obviously, a considerable portion of those in that environment subscribe to, and reaffirm, notions of consciousness transcending and surviving death.
This is fairly typical, no matter where you go.
It is weird to lie to someone in this specific kind of way, though…
…Falsely assuming the identity of a deceased individual, in order to make someone else that presumably had a close relationship with that individual feel good…special…loved…or whatever…that kind of behavior is a very heavy, deep and personal deception.
This kid is going to go brag, with excitement, to his friends and others…that “Daddy sent me a message from heaven”…And his bubble is going to eventually get burst.
Maybe a lot of people will play along…It might even go on for years…But I seriously have reservations, over any notion that a boy deprived of his own father, will take the news of this deception in any way similar to finding out there is no Santa.
This is just a place mom [or is it “mum”, in this case?] should not have treaded…She is setting up herself and her son, for some unkind issues later down the road.
Honesty is generally the best policy, when it comes to death.
This story reminds me a little bit…of the time I came back from Christmas break…and my third grade best friend informed us all…this year, all his presents “came from jesus”…because that is the way his parents made up the tags on the gifts…
Mind you…we weren’t complete dorks…and he knew just like the rest of us…that his parents were behind it all…Even in that kind of sheltered, programmed environment…we knew jesus did not leave Christmas presents under the tree…and that physical contact [or verbal, or…] with jesus, was not to be expected…nor looked upon uncritically…even if we were conditioned, to believe jesus was a living, sentient being.
That kid is really young, though…And we had had a few more years, to develop some critical reasoning.