Monthly Archives: June 2014

Happy International BoyLove Day, Summer 2014…

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Date: June 21, 2014

Today marks the summer observance of International BoyLove Day.

I will give my usual, simple post…

…but in addition, I would like to share my progress on the rebuild of the Equality Foundations International BoyLove Day website.

https://ourlovefrontier.wordpress.com/page-ibld-index#top

This resource is moving here, and I hope to have it completed in the coming weeks.

It will be linked on the side, like several other resources currently are.

We’ll have a “grand opening”, when it is done…Maybe even a “ribbon cutting”… 🙂

For now…let me part with something that holds a sentiment I’ve been pulled back to, again and again…To all who have been my friends…To all who I have loved…

…Wish you were here.

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Noah Embraced Queerness and Sexuality Since Childhood…


Date: June 15, 2014

Thank you for this gem of a find, Shrink Wrap!

01) BoyChat Post

“I was the queerest kid that I’ve ever met that I think anyone has ever met. I came out of the womb, ready to go. And not just queer but also super sexual and I don’t really know where that came from. And I don’t think anyone really does. And when I say that, my first memories and my first urges and desires were wanting to have sex with men.

I think everyone’s story is important to share, I think the more that we tell our story, especially stories that are maybe strange or not the status quo or maybe even a little bit scary, for someone to say that I was a sexual child, I think a lot of people think like 1, that is a lie, kids can’t be sexual, or 2, there’s something wrong with you, or 3, you were abused. So I think that for me telling my story, I’ve talked about this before, I’ve written about this, and I can’t tell you how many people have found me and said, “I had the exact same experience, no one’s ever said that before.” So I think the more we start telling our stories, the less scary it is for people, and the more we can accept each other for who we are, and sort of all come to the table and say, “This is me, maybe it’s not who you were, maybe it’s not who you are” but it humanizes it I think which is really important and we’re seeing that’s how people change their minds.”

02) Dancing In His Underwear for the Garbage Man, Noah Embraced Queerness and Sexuality Since Childhood [Original Article/Video]


Does anybody wish to wager a guess, on who has been out here for the past decade and a half plus, writing and speaking [to one degree or another] of the reality of the sexual child?…

I’ll give you a clue…You are looking at his blog, right now…

I am overjoyed to see this, and if there are any other examples of this out there, I would like to see them and highlight them here.

This goes “hand in glove” with things I have been discussing for many, many years…That we, who were sexual children [and pronouncedly so], do exist…That the “phenomena” does exist…That children can be, and sometimes are, “hypersexual”…That even young children sometimes have a sex drive, and a pronounced sexual attraction…That children are often aware of this biological hunger, and attraction…That many such children want to somehow act on it…That this is just a natural part of who we are.

Thank you for taking this stand, Noah!

I did not have a family, or living environment, which allowed me to embrace my own sexuality as a young child…nor even as a teenager…

You were blessed, in a real world sense, to have had the support you needed.

I salute you, for having the bravery to come out and talk about it.

It is not easy discussing these issues openly…On the one hand, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of reactions [and making yourself vulnerable], over an issue which is deeply, fundamentally personal…and often considered private. But you reach out and open yourself like this, taking that risk…because you realize from a personal stance, there is something deeply dysfunctional in the way our society looks at and reacts towards early life sexuality.

…Being burned by this social phobia…it opens your eyes to just why things desperately need to change, regarding this issue.

I’ve even gone so far as to give detailed description, of a few sexual encounters I experienced as a kid…and to elaborate on my emotional state, at the time…

…I think most people out there would not believe the bile, and the degree of obsessive cruelty, some individuals have directed towards me…for doing nothing more than discussing the realities of my own life…for trying to build a framework, in which others of different experience might come to understand people like myself.

Because of my tendency to reach out to others…there have been a handful of very abusive people, who’ve been targeting and attacking me for years…Distorting my words…Smearing my name…Some have literally tried to terrorize me…I’ve been threatened in a number of ways, and have lived under this cloud of threat for many years.

I worry about the safety of people, who do what Noah has done here…

…If only more of us would come out, network and support each other…I think, we honestly could change this world…for the better.

Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl…


Date: June 10, 2014

Note: I want to make clear, that I’ve viewed/read the many things linked in this post, over a span of several days. Some of my memory has eroded…I wont make individual changes below, but I wanted to clarify a few mistakes.

I refer to the captors of Bowe Bergdhal as al-qaida…but they are actually taliban…Apparently, those bozos are back at their crap, again…and they aren’t really much up for negotiating peace…like it was alleged, a handful of years back…when they supposedly were open to talks.

The “historian” is actually a reporter, who got held captive himself.

This post is not the prettiest thing I’ve ever written, and it’s been meshed together, from the content/writing of two or three settings at the PC…It’s been a busy weekend…

Wow…what a complete freakish mess…all around, and from every concievable angle…

Before you partake in any of these links, do note…I did not choose them based upon any ideological alignment of the producers. I chose them based upon what they addressed in a meaningful way. As such, I am pleased to say that more than one viewpoint is shared…and as such, a wider consideration is given to the complexity of this case.

…A bit of backstory and more recent news…

As the link says…I’m just placing this here, because it documents the earlier periods of Bergdahl’s case.

…Is Bergdhal a deserter?…

…Is Bergdhal a deserter?…

This is an opinion piece…I included it, because it discusses the desertion charges made against Bergdahl.

…”We The People” Petition…

Some people actually started a petition on whitehouse.gov…Obviously, there are very strong emotions surrounding this case. I am just documenting the fact, that this petition exists…and that many citizens are taking it upon themselves, to attempt influencing the outcome of this case.

I am not implying anybody should, or should not, sign it themselves.

…New Details of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl’s Captivity…

This one is recent…and I’d like to say something here…

It does seem that Bergdahl was a genuine deserter. After a relatively short time serving in theater, in an undistinguished capacity or manner…Bergdahl decided he had emotional and ideological conflicts, with what the U.S. is doing in Afghanistan. At some point, he simply abandoned his post…Strangely, it seems he had a history of doing this type of thing…It allegedly happened twice before.

What I want to know…is what these abandonments consisted of…was he actually AWOL [absent without leave], or did he just sneak off over into the bushes to take a badly needed pee, when someone higher up noticed he was absent?

That may sound corny, or like I am trying to be humorous…but remember, I was a service member myself…and I served in a theater of war, myself…I know well enough, there are some dingbats in the service, who get off on using their status and rank to screw with people.

Since I don’t know the facts about Bergdhal’s previous desertions of his post…I feel compelled to withhold comment about them…But it is troubling to know, that there seems to exist a pattern of this behavior in his history.

Strangely…Bergdhal got promoted all the way up to the rank of sergeant [generally, two promotions beyond private first class], even when all of this was known about him…which seems extremely generous…but, I understand it is not right to penalize an individual when you don’t even know exactly why he was gone…and he is still a service member, with the time put in.

I find it troubling and alarming, that some people are taking it upon themselves to allegedly issue death threats, to Bergdhal and his father. Admittedly…what little is offered here in this report, comes off questionably as being a literal death threat. We don’t get to see the larger message…and it sounds more like a briefly expressed opinion, that Bergdhal and his father should be executed. They may be applying very liberal interpretations, to anything which implies such a thing. Personally, I think there is a tangible difference between expressing such a thing, and actually threatening another person’s life…even though I think it is deplorable, that people are demonizing and dragging Bergdhal’s family into this, in that manner.

…I also find it troubling, that Bergdhal’s homecoming celebration got derailed by all of the hysteria, when most people could not even begin to know the facts of this case…Mind you…maybe he does not strictly deserve a heroes welcome…but it is his home town…and they know him as a human being…he is part of them…and they have had to go through the ordeal, of watching him for the last five years, held hostage and with his life in peril. If they want to celebrate his release and return home…that is their business, and not the business of outsiders.

I think there have been many ugly things which have boiled to the surface here.

The issue of President Obama making this trade, is still a whole other issue as well. Five top al-qaida members, for one soldier who is very likely a deserter…and we don’t even know what these al-qaida guys are even going to do, once they get back amongst their peers…Can they just walk away from their past?…Will this place a target on their heads?…How likely is it, that they wont return to al-qaida?

The trade was not even legal…even if it did “have to” be done this way, provided it was going to happen at all. It is honestly not in dispute, that Obama could not legally make a trade like this…and this is absolutely something, which a larger body of authority should have been involved in. On a personal note…I do not feel good at all about Obama’s handling of this, nor about the precedent of trading five terrorist leaders for one American deserter.

I sympathize that leaving Bergdhal to die, as the only American POW of the Afghan war, is not an easy call to make…after all…we do our best to bring our people home…and it tarnishes our image all the more, as a nation, to abandon even a soldier who behaved like Bergdhal. In reality, we could not just leave him there and do nothing.

I think what makes me feel most ill…is the way I am finding myself in agreement, more and more, with the extremist Obama haters…many of whom I think are motivated by a lot of factors, and not all of them good…But Obama is taking privileges with his status, that are not his to legally take…and that is a serious issue…

…Obama keeps granting an aura of increasing credibility…to this demographic amongst us, who’s favorite hobby in life is collecting and promoting every conspiracy theory they stumble across…no matter how ridiculous or irrelevant those theories may be…Obama’s behavior has been like a great big christmas present to these sorts, who have to constantly believe [and spread] the idea that the government wants to put all of us into concentration camps and kill us [even though if they wiped us all out, they’d have nobody left to rule over or profit off of].

Obama campaigned on transparency…but he has not made good on this promise…He has gone the other way, and given us too many surprises.

…Democracy Now: June 4th, 2014 [full episode]…

I actually want to highlight this last link, more than anything else in this post…because it discusses an issue, that never really seems to get it’s due time…yet it is very important, and a sign of our failings as a nation, that we do not confront this in a direct manner.

There are actually two parts I’d like you to watch…the first is of a lawyer, who discusses more intimately, some of the factors surrounding soldiers who become deserters. The second is a historian, I believe…who discuses the mass desertions in World War II, and the horrendous things those men were expected to endure…and just keep going.

Virtually nobody, is actually cut out for the purpose of thriving in a theater of war…In fact, it is a severely devastating experience for many…and it is no surprise, that many do run away when things get too horrendous for them to cope with. To stay, is counter to human nature in most people.

…so they flee…

There is a tremendously heavy question here, where it comes down to how justified we even can be, in punishing people who have been pushed past their mental capacity to cope, while in a setting we have forced them into, and while they are merely attempting to escape from what they can no longer psychologically handle.

…Is it right, to punish anyone who is seeking self preservation, and seeking to avoid suffering further injury?

Most people don’t even understand what they are walking into, when they join the military…not honestly, they don’t…and we accept untold numbers, who are ill equipped to face the reality…Many of them are there, because of social inequality issues, no fault of their own…and this is their only viable way forward in life…Some of them are bullied into the military, by a parent who wants them out of the house…

These are some of the hard realities, of many people who end up in the military…and who end up either dead, or maimed and traumatized.


I want to make one thing clear…

…I am not terribly sympathetic to a soldiers plight, where it can be proven that he/she intentionally abdicated his/her duties, placed others in greater danger, and in the process of doing such…caused their own ill set of circumstances [which others are forced to rescue them from].

Leaving your post, abandoning your duties and wandering off aimlessly into the Afghan frontier, is a very, very, very serious matter.

Whether or not it can be proven that six [or more] men died while searching for Bergdhal…there is still the matter that when posts are abandoned, a new vulnerability has been created for the rest of the group…and a vulnerability which they have been left oblivious to.

Maybe Bowe Bergdhal has mental issues he was dealing with when he went into the military…I don’t know…But he was considered competent enough to be there, doing what he was doing…and when he chose to fail doing those things he agreed to do…he betrayed the very people he was serving with…and by extension…if these allegations are true…he betrayed our nation.

Potentially…a lot more people could have ended up dead, over what Bergdhal did…So his actions should not be taken lightly.

There needs to be an investigation…If evidence shows that Bergdhal willfully deserted, then he needs to be tried under the UCMJ [Uniform Code of Military Justice]…If found guilty…he needs to be sentenced, and sent to Fort Leavenworth…

…And no…the al-qaida group that abducted and held Bergdhal for at least five years, is in no way representative of the U.S. military justice system, nor is it authorized to carry out any punishment on behalf of the U.S. military justice system…Therefor, his time in captivity should have no baring on any criminal culpability, nor the legal consequences of said culpability…

That he was a prisoner of al-qaida, is no excuse for a light slap on the wrist, nor for claiming that Bergdhal has “suffered enough already”…

…And if anybody in government attempts to play that card…even I will join in with the voices who are yelling “Foul!”

I just wanted to make this point clear…

…As a war vet myself…I don’t look favorably upon those soldiers, who are presently “on the front lines”…who quite possibly don’t even have it bad, as daily life goes [all things considered]…when they decide suddenly, that they are ideologically unsatisfied with the war and their place in it…so they decide to take some dingbat, treasonous action, in hopes of getting out of it…

I know it can be high stress, being in a situation like that…But I also know, you can go your entire time in some places, without ever seeing combat at all.

Bergdhal does not come off as someone, who was suffering from getting shot at for too long…He comes off as someone morally outraged, who had this insane notion…that it would be better to walk into the very dangerous unknown, than to just ride out his tour of duty and make some sort of stand once he returned to the U.S.

Bergdhal chose the worst possible time and place in his life, to throw his fit over what all is wrong…and the consequences of his choices have been nothing but a disaster, all around.

…Such naivety…Nobody in their right mind believes it will turn out well, wandering alone in an al-qaida infested Afghanistan…

…Maybe he was suicidal?…

Really sad for him…If he’d have just done his duty, he’d have probably spent a lot of time setting in a bunker…and eventually [maybe long before this], he’d be out of the service…honorable discharge, and all…

…Now he has to live the rest of his life, with this chained around his neck.

I do not believe he should be spared from facing the consequences of his actions…but, what shortsighted naivety…

If he is, indeed, guilty of the charges…then this is epic Darwin Award behavior…and it is a wonder that he even survived it all.

Bergdhal already “won the lottery”, by surviving the insane situation he is alleged to have caused…If guilty…that is his grace and mercy [the fact that he is even alive, at all]…and we should not be soft on him, when it comes to him standing before a military court.

Given the circumstances…if he is guilty, then this is fair.

If those six [or more] soldiers really did die directly because of Bergdhal’s actions…and this can be established…then they should throw the book at him, with prejudice.

I know the political and social circumstances were a lot different, when I served in the first gulf war…but we were being told, that we were being sent into another Vietnam…If you think any of us over there wanted to be there…you are wrong…But nobody I knew deserted…It never even crossed my mind, to attempt running away from all of it. I wont call that bravery…I’ll just admit, it was realizing the reality of the situation I was in.

Bowe Bergdhal joined the U.S. military at a time of war…years into an ongoing war…two of them, even…U.S. culture and media had been ablaze for years, with heated debate over the rightfulness and morality of these two wars…and we are expected to believe, that Bowe was oblivious to all of this moral conflict…until that moment, while standing [or setting] in an Afghan desert, where he had some sudden epiphany?

…I don’t know…It just seems like anybody going into the U.S. military today, has little real excuse for not understanding what they are walking into…or for not understanding what sorts of things they are agreeing to be part of…There are so many outlets, which expose the realities…and this is not even remotely a new thing.

If you are that big of a conscientious objector…you don’t join the military so that you can be sent smack dab in the middle of everything, just to throw a fit and cause a lot more problems [possibly getting yourself and others killed].

I cannot respect that sort of behavior at all.

Transgenders…


Date: June 04, 2014

01) TIME magazine: The Transgender Tipping Point

The transgendered community is an easier to digest “next step”, when it comes to social tolerance.

Maybe it is not fair…but their general situation has less heated complexities than ours.

Necrophiliacs and zoophiles?…

…It can feel like a considerably hard slap in the face as a pedosexual, when confronting the possibility that these groups could attain social freedom, in the face of us simultaneously losing ground…or even just being held in a stagnant position. It could be seen as demeaning, and an outrage that such open minded tolerance, such as it would take, is still being denied to us who are attracted to our own species…and the living.

If you listen to some zoophiles…they come right out and proclaim themselves “the next”, or even “the last remaining”, sexual minority to be liberated.

For what it is worth…I say, let them have their posturing, and even their superiority complex…

Truth be told…if they manage to break through the wall of prohibition and intolerance, the culture will have changed so much…it would seem unbelievable, that such a culture would maintain draconian censorship and oppression against pedosexuals even just discussing their social plight.

In my opinion…that is a positive direction.

Transgendered…we are seeing the question of allowing small children to embark upon the path, of changing their physical sex…That is a pretty huge thing, in terms of how we think about a child’s sexual rights, and a child’s rights with their own body.

…I think we should embrace and support this, on the grounds that it is advancing greater sensitivity, to a child’s personal rights to body and identity.

My only caveat, is that the whole transgendered concept, as someone else here alluded to…may be more of a push back, against social gender roles…than a literal need to go under the knife, and change your physical genitals, etc…

Maybe I am wrong about that…or, maybe this is just the way humans naturally are…Some will always identify with the opposite sex.

Having gone through several decades of BL life…


Date: June 03, 2014

01) BoyChat Thread

Summary: Anonymous poster claims to have been placed on antidepresents, and after two weeks lost all attraction to boys, having said attractions replaced by attraction to adults.

Having gone through several decades of BL life…

…I can attest to the fact, that sexual phases are something which most of us go through.

When I was about 22 years old…I experienced this very dark, detached and hazy time in my life [which I believe was connected to my service in the gulf war of 1991]. I could barely stay awake…I could not concentrate, or retain information for more than a matter of seconds [which decimated the hell, out of my college aspirations]…and I also had this peculiar thing going on…I could not become sexually aroused, at all.

Mind you…just a few years earlier, I was at my sexual peak as a male…and then, suddenly, I could no longer get an erection…and I effectively had no sexual desire…As this went on, I spent a ton of time sleeping and everything was a blur, so it didn’t occur to me just how much time had passed…

…But then at some point, I realized it had been upwards of a year, since I had even experienced any sort of sexual stimulation…and it really started to bother me, not knowing what was going on.

My doctor dismissed it…saying this sort of thing was normal, for males leaving that phase of their life [getting past their sexual peak]…but I never believed, that a total loss of ones sex drive at age 22, is at all normal…and I don’t believe they honestly understood the extent of what I was experiencing…It just was not there, at all…and would not return for…probably a year and a half…a couple of years…and then, it only slowly came back.

You know how it is, that I know I am a BoyLover?…

…Even after this extended absence from sexual stimulation…as things returned, my attractions were the same as they were before.

Now…I have never returned to how I was prior to that event in my life…though I have rebounded somewhat…I do have anomalous periods, where I can be almost like I was at eighteen, and be very sexually aroused multiple times over, over the span of a week…but those are very rare…

…More common, is for me to go for windows of time…a month…month and a half…two months…without having any personal need to attend to my sexual needs…

One point in all of this sharing…is that two weeks is no time at all…It is not something on which to base any judgment, whether you are “changed” or not.

Another point, is that we go through a lot of things in life…some deeply impacting, some not so much…It is important not to hang such a heavy reliance upon these things. Maybe they effect us…Maybe they don’t…Maybe their effect is temporary, or short lived.

A last point…is that we can have tendencies to fool ourselves, when something in our lives has changed…and that change of balance has caused us to become more distant, from the reality of who we are.

I’ve had extended periods in my life [including during my current life, today]…where sexual attraction to boys was literally absent from my life. Does this mean that I have ever not been a BoyLover?…I would say no, it does not mean that at all.

It means I am a BoyLover with a very low sex drive.

Why is it always “an addiction” when it’s taboo?…


Date: June 03, 2014

01) Bloomingdale man gets probation for child porn

“Bloomingdale man Pavel V. Logvin first stumbled upon child pornography in 2000 by accident, prosecutors said, and eventually his curiosity got the better of him and it became an addiction. By 2004, prosecutors said, Logvin admitted to becoming a “download freak.”

Why is it always “an addiction” when it’s taboo?…

…Is someone trying to create a buffer between what they have done and their own culpability?…Maybe playing the sympathy card?

Mind you…I am mindful, that in our particular circumstances of total experience deprival…it is understandable, that some do become obsessed when they stumble upon an unexpected source of child porn.

This may be a fair observation…I am just less comfortable with this notion, when we are talking about what likely amounts to a persons singular [or at least extremely limited] sexual outlet.

…Are heterosexual males “addicted to vagina”, also, because they keep going back to it so often?

It comes off ludicrous to me.


02) In Response to This

Understood…

…but I’ve also encountered this happening amongst the religious, who have a guilty conscience about accessing legal porn.

They call their attraction to this content “an addiction”.

It is not for me to say, whether or not an individual can be addicted to such a thing…But I have to think, there are more factors playing into the development of this sort of obsession, than merely an individuals natural tendencies towards sex.

I would suggest, in reality…it is just something normal, to be attracted to these things…but the usage of it is greatly stoked, by other contributing factors.

Maybe it does become a problem…And, maybe, absent those other contributing factors, it becomes no problem at all.

As to your point…yes…I agree, it is possibly a less bad alternative, to our wholesale demonization…

…At the same time, however, it serves as a more sanitized rounding up, and shackling of our kind. No, there is nothing new about them calling us mentally ill…but the stronger emphasis on this social concept, is a relatively new development.

I am the last person, who is going to look down on a BoyLover seeking help, when experiencing real mental health problems…And I could not say, that this guy didn’t have some mental health issues going on with him, which might make the implication appropriate…

…The trend to call these sorts of things “addictions”, and treat them like a mental illness, still does not set well with me.

…It is way to unaccounted for.


03) In Response to This

Acknowledging Degrees of Usage…

Thank you for posting this, Kristofor…

Of course…it is not my intent, to suggest that nobody can become addicted to something like pornography…

…Maybe a better way to phrase this…is questioning whether “normal” people using “normal” porn at a high degree, would be judged by the same standard, as those of us who are not so inclined towards the “normal” stuff.

I know a number of cases have arose, regarding addiction to legal porn…and I will accept, that when something takes over your life, it is a problem…maybe even an addiction.

What I am more hesitant to embrace, is what feels like a trend to side step all the issues surrounding “people like us”…and this obsessive trend to reframe everything about us, into terms of “mental illness” and “dysfunction”.

It’s very popular amongst those getting caught in the act, to default with “I have a problem…Please help me.”…It is too popular, in my opinion…even though I know they are in an impossible situation, and likely just saying what they know others want to hear.

…And are we to presume that everyone found with a stash of child porn larger than some pre-determined number, is suffering from a mental illness?

Some people are die hard archivists…and they want to secure and preserve as much of a certain kind of content, as they possibly can.

If you had an opportunity to peruse my hard drive…you might think me a bit nutty, when witnessing the sheer volume of other people’s stuff, which I have saved copies of…all legal stuff, of course…

…In fact, I’d actually like to find good database software, to help me organize and manage it…but could never make heads or tales of it all, when I went looking at the download websites.


04) Responding to This

What I was trying to put into words…is a personal discomfort with this social trend, to equate these kinds of social taboos, with some type of mental illness…and/or lack of personal control.

A lot of people throw themselves into things which are not common…but when are we justified in calling that mentally ill [or uncontrollable] behavior?

I agree with what you say, Hajduk.

Would you have me cease?…


Date: June 01, 2014

01) BoyChat Post

…I break some of the rules of security, that is true…

Mostly, this is because I see no long term future, especially not for myself…and things are all going to end in the same place…silence. Because of this, I choose to use what resources are available, to stand for something while I still can.

After the last couple of years…I honestly did not believe I was still going to be around today…I thought I was going to be dead.

When your vantage point shifts…your perspective shifts…and you start to see things differently…Some things just don’t matter so much, anymore [if at all]…Other things are…well…they are what gets left behind, which embody what ones existence meant…who they were, and what they offered this world…why they fought back.

When I left BoyChat several years ago…an underlying reason was personal turmoil…When I came back, it was a meaningful return [to me, anyway]…yet I had changed, and I knew that BoyChat could no longer fulfill, or house, what I needed…nor provide for the ongoing journey I needed to take…This is one of the reasons, why I started doing so much activity, off of BoyChat. Not only did I want to evolve into new mediums this place could not host…I also felt it was unfair of me, to use this place for what some would likely say was self promotion…A lot of what I was doing, just does not fit here…which is one of the many reasons, I needed my own place online, which is decidedly not BoyChat.

I have evolved and grown into someone, who exists every bit as much in the blogosphere [maybe even more so, after all these years], as I ever have on BoyChat…I’ve grown more connected to what is “out there”, than I am to what is here…And being “out there”, I intermingle with an audience including of people like us, which exists “out there”…as well as of people, who may not be inclined to come to places like this.

…Am I to walk away from this?

It means more to me, than I can put into words.

…and I don’t have a lot of other options, regarding what I can positively do in this world…If I give this up, I might as well be dead.

I just spent the past week largely bedridden, because I was in constant pain and could barely move my legs…could not stand…could not set…and it was part of a larger month plus, of chronic trouble of this nature…likely the biggest factor, as to why so many posts happened at my blog, come to think of it [I have a bed desk, a PC sets on top of]…My true options in life are severely hampered and limited.

What I do online, is my way of diverting my attention to all the messed up things in my life…and re-focusing it on constructive things, which I can still do relatively well.

To those who get creeped out by it…I apologize for my use of twitter, an instant chat box…or even just having a blog…Maybe our lives are on very different trajectories…and maybe we just have to agree, that we each have to weigh our own choices for ourselves…and maybe a lot of people should not visit my blog, if they feel it is a security risk to themselves.

For me…I will not use Skype…I’ve never had any interest in using facebook…but I find twitter very useful…and there is also a thriving community of us on twitter…If a better twitter alternative arrives, then I am all ears and happy to check it out…

…Maybe we could build one, ourselves?…after all, there was a lot of discussion about Free Spirits having it’s own blogging service, a handful of years back…why not a micro blog, too?

To be totally clear…I’ve never been at a point, where I was prepared to totally drop what I am doing “out there”, for the explicit purpose of rushing here upon the opening of such a resource…but that doesn’t mean I’d have nothing to do with it, or that I am not disappointed to know that it has still not materialized…I actually took up with wordpress, because I was tired of waiting…otherwise, I might have made the jump then.

I know it is alienating, being “out there”…and I know it is frustrating, when trolls come here who open up facebook accounts, youtube accounts, etc, trying to get people to visit them…it manifests an atmosphere of distrust…As someone who has been doing this sort of thing for about eight years now, and who is established in this community…I look upon that, as mud thrown at the rest of us who are legitimate.

I don’t know if anything I have said here makes a difference…but I wanted to explain, in part, why I have chosen to take up with a service like twitter, etc…

It is not recommended for all.