Daily Archives: September 9, 2014

Respect is Gold…


Date: September 09, 2014

01) Re: You’re life’s purpose

“Too many here love to seize on other’s pain for cheap gags and they make me sick. Their sense of ‘principle’ and their skewed logic is mind blowing.”

If I said “Thank You!” a million times over, it would not be enough…You mirror my sentiment, exactly.

…At times, I just want to rip out my own hair in frustration, when witnessing the worst aspects of the human being overwhelming this board.

That may be a judgment call…but if ones attraction to this board is the opportunity to tare into someone, to verbally berate and beat someone else down…to hurt and injure somebody here…That person is not my brother…they are not my sister…and they have no rightful place amongst us, which I recognize.

Everybody should be afforded grace, for those moments they have to genuinely let it out, and scream at the world…or take out their frustrations, by trading blows with the willing…

…But grace is not an endless reservoir, to be exploited and disrespected…

…Those chronic cases, who play games with our grace and tolerance, are a whole other matter, entirely.

Respect is gold, on a board like this.

Those who never learn to realize this, dismiss themselves to something only fit to be ignored.

One caveat I must express, however…

…middy…

…A number of people have lumped middy into that general sort of category, over the years…And I’ve always thought, “you just don’t know middy”…

…middy, in all actual truth, is a very kind and decent person…who comes off cynical, silly…flippant…quite a lot…

Years ago, when I was unemployed…middy reached out to me, and gave me a “heads up” on something, which I shouldn’t really elaborate on…But the point is, he opened parts of his private life up to me, in order to help me in a tangible way…and you just do not get that from most people.

Today…I like to think of middy, as BoyChat’s resident Yoda…kind of setting there with his cane, and silly voice [and big, pointy, green ears?]…prodding the rest of us on…maybe pointing out folly, or that we should contemplate deeper what we have expressed…what we face…

…Maybe he is here to constantly remind us, to stop taking ourselves so seriously…no matter what, the world goes on…

I never have viewed middy as being hateful or nasty towards others, like a few others have implied.

middy is amongst the verified good people here…Even though he acts like a clown, or a little stinker, most of the time…

Baring the Burden…


Date: September 09, 2014

01) Why we should take the hard road

A lot of times, I’ve felt like…what happens to BLs and GLs, is akin to the bullied kid in school getting blamed for it, when he “took the wrong path to class”, and got beat up for crossing paths with the school bullies.

It’s a stacked deck…the dice are loaded…fairness has nothing to do with it.

This culture does not value equally, all who get bullied within it…and that is one core factor, which needs to be changed.

When it comes to needs…this may be the impossible question…What need is greater?…Who’s need is greater?…When is it greater?…How is it greater?…

…Who makes this decision?…and will it hold true, through all time and circumstance?

I’ve spent years, wrestling with Infinity Extreme’s exact same questions…And that thread did catch my attention…I just haven’t really responded…until now, I suppose.

It’s kind of a “Steve-D-ism”, anymore…when I talk about how much I hate the very idea…that I am one day going to be on my death bed [or in some state of dying], reflecting back on my life…and knowing that I have been forced to live a diminished and demeaned existence in this world…That I never really had a chance to do, what I consider to be living a life and being happy…That normalcy for me, has always been held out of reach…and this has caused a lot of other things, to fall out of balance…become harder…or impossible.

The last thing I want, is to be an angry person…but I do not believe their is any more severe way to crush a person…than to take away fulfillment, purpose and joy in their life…To make them fear not only what they are…but fear all consequence, for what they might do…To put them at perpetual war, with their own biological and psychological needs…

…You can’t really fight what exists under your own skin, and in your own psyche…Not something like this…You are condemning yourself, if you do…You are admitting that you “are not worth” a happy and content life, like anybody else.

I don’t give in to that…instead, looking at what has been ripped away and extracted from my being [and that of all of us]…as a debt owed to our kind, by those who perpetuate this social policy.

They will never be able to make restitution to us, because what they have done is so severe, nothing can honestly make up for it…and many of them will never conceive, of the true depths of what they have done…

Cold, ugly truth…we will never actually collect on this debt…all we can do, is extract it socially, in ways we know how…

…They can have my sex life…all of it…I’ve abandoned it, as a casualty of this war…walking away, as it all went up in flames…

…I even give them the grace and forgiveness, they do not even deserve…the grace and forgiveness which they’ve denied to me, for merely being born into their narrow, cold and cruel world.

…What I will retain, is a constant vigilance…a constant presence…and a constant face…which does not allow them to forget, that they are not better than me…that they have done monstrous things, in their own right…that they, also, have vast fields in their own lives, where they can become a better human being.

This “trade off” is infinitely unfair…It is crumbs for gold…

…But I also realize that trying to extract what has been denied to me, will always inflict an extra cost and injury.

…I likely could not live with the stress, in the aftermath of a sexual encounter or relationship, that comes natural to me…caught or not…exposed or not…

…This is one part of the psychological injury, which has long ago been inflicted upon me…It is what paralyzes me, and makes me shun so many things in life…

…I’m sure many [on BoyChat] can identify with that.