Daily Archives: September 29, 2014

If relationships are real…


Date: September 29, 2014

01) Response to this

If relationships are real…

…we cannot help but impart upon each other, some amount of personal growth, discovery and knowledge.

When it comes to the man and the boy [the adult and the child, etc.]…neither is more relevant than the other…both bring something, and likely a lot of somethings…

However…based upon age and experience, the elder is more likely to have attained more in their life to share.

…The younger shares other things, including energy, vibrancy, joy, desire…capacity to learn…a chance to give greater meaning, to an elders life.

Of course, the younger knows some things, the elder does not……and they will teach the elder, in various ways…but on average…it is the elder, who will teach the younger how to tend a garden…how to grill a steak…where to pour oil into the engine…any number of useful things [some mundane and ordinary, others specialized] , which are likely to enrich the youngers future life…

This type of knowledge may not be equivalent to teaching someone an entire trade, for which they can sustain themselves…but I would argue, it is still a form of mentorship.

Two people cant really be in each others lives for a prolonged amount of time, without intermingling their own life’s knowledge and imparting it on each other…not unless the situation was straight up abusive, and would not end.

Last…I cant let this pass without saying something…because I have no idea, how anyone can equate mentorship with “ageist bigotry”…

It might be plausible, that the assumption young people don’t know specific things is “ageist bigotry”…but there is an insane amount of stuff out there, to learn and know…

As an older human…there are times in my life, where I could use and appreciate a mentor in my life, and one of any age [so long as they are competent]…I don’t see this as an ageist matter. It’s more a plain fact that I lack something, but someone else out there “knows how too…”.

…We aren’t completely self sufficient islands, all on our own…

…And the younger or less experienced we are, the more we lack…

Besides…it is fairly common human nature, for us to teach each other…

…I’d be much more worried and alarmed, if we just did not care…and if we thought it was “okay”, to leave children, kids, teens and young adults adrift, to fend all for themselves.

Mentorship…


Date: September 29, 2014

01) In response to this post

“I harbour doubts about the emphasis that’s placed on mentoring and I can’t help thinking that we are ‘romanticising’ the idea in order to justify and reassure ourselves. Having said that, I still believe that many are sincere in their good intentions and embrace the mentoring obligation, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with two people mutually agreeing to sex unless they respect each other. They may consider each other not very nice people but still be sexually attracted to each other, so mentoring doesn’t have to be the basis for a relationship for it to be acceptable.”

While I think there might be an unintended phrasing in there, I have to say that this is a good direction for discussion.

The “mentoring” angle, I think, is more about marketing a social context, in which these kinds of relationships could exist…It is socially designing one place for us, where others can hail us as good members of the community.

…That said, I’ve never strongly pushed the idea of “mentorship” being intertwined with man/boy love relationships…except that by their own nature, they are typically a form of sexual mentorship [at least in the beginning].

Sex is primarily biological in nature and need…like breathing and eating…Nobody chooses what they want to find attractive…It is just there, in their own makeup. What we choose, is how to go about dealing with it, and [provided they agree] with whom.

Mentorship has never needed to be a factor of these forms of relationship…Realistically, some of us are not terribly good mentors…And maybe we don’t have a lot to offer, beyond a physical relationship [or just being someone to lean on]…

…And in my book of ethics, it is still moral to be there for someone else, to love and support them…even if only in this one, physical aspect…so long as it is still filling a real need, for both of you.

We aren’t everything to everyone, in every circumstance…Sometimes, our place in the life of another, is very limited and compartmentalized.

…Ideally, we do have more to offer those others…and we are allowed the freedom, to offer it.