Date: September 29, 2014

01) In response to this post

“I harbour doubts about the emphasis that’s placed on mentoring and I can’t help thinking that we are ‘romanticising’ the idea in order to justify and reassure ourselves. Having said that, I still believe that many are sincere in their good intentions and embrace the mentoring obligation, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with two people mutually agreeing to sex unless they respect each other. They may consider each other not very nice people but still be sexually attracted to each other, so mentoring doesn’t have to be the basis for a relationship for it to be acceptable.”

While I think there might be an unintended phrasing in there, I have to say that this is a good direction for discussion.

The “mentoring” angle, I think, is more about marketing a social context, in which these kinds of relationships could exist…It is socially designing one place for us, where others can hail us as good members of the community.

…That said, I’ve never strongly pushed the idea of “mentorship” being intertwined with man/boy love relationships…except that by their own nature, they are typically a form of sexual mentorship [at least in the beginning].

Sex is primarily biological in nature and need…like breathing and eating…Nobody chooses what they want to find attractive…It is just there, in their own makeup. What we choose, is how to go about dealing with it, and [provided they agree] with whom.

Mentorship has never needed to be a factor of these forms of relationship…Realistically, some of us are not terribly good mentors…And maybe we don’t have a lot to offer, beyond a physical relationship [or just being someone to lean on]…

…And in my book of ethics, it is still moral to be there for someone else, to love and support them…even if only in this one, physical aspect…so long as it is still filling a real need, for both of you.

We aren’t everything to everyone, in every circumstance…Sometimes, our place in the life of another, is very limited and compartmentalized.

…Ideally, we do have more to offer those others…and we are allowed the freedom, to offer it.

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