Daily Archives: August 31, 2015

The Number One Thing I Would Tell Boys About BoyChat…

Date: August 31, 2015

01) Re: Boy Allies/Boy Actors/Boy Imposters

“People here complain about unfair repression of their views, whether in the sciences, law, culture, or the arts. But they are guilty of having the same attitudes towards boys, as well as clinging to a view about boys that very seriously undermines any message that depicts their “love” as sincere: the current message from the boychat community is one that the boys themselves overwhelmingly reject as loving. In short, this community routinely complains about external oppression, but refuses to examine how much their own internal views and attitudes are holding them back.”

The number one thing I would tell boys about BoyChat…

…is that there are so many diverse, different factors and motivators behind the “why” and “how” people post on BoyChat…that much of the content posted here gets judged and saddled, quite unfairly.

We have people here, dealing with a lot of things.

The phenomena of angry posts, offered by those on registries…often made hours after making their regular, required, humiliating visits to the local PD…or being visited in their home.

People who simply want to share something with others, who they reasonably know will likewise appreciate…when they don’t know anyone else who will.

“Soap Boxing”, because something in this world rubbed you the wrong way…

Sometimes you’re just in a good mood, and want to create something whimsical to share, and brighten the world a little bit…at least for those who appreciate such.

Claiming and asserting our human worth, and that we belong…

Every here and there, someone wants to get serious about something…like research…people who attack us…

BoyChat is a place of exchange, for legal content created and/or shared by BoyLovers…It is tailored to BoyLovers, and their needs.

It is way to easy, for people to impose their own interpretation on what gets posted on BoyChat…without looking under the surface, and allowing a lot of leeway and empathy for the many things driving this place.

…I would ask boys not to impose to harshly, their own “cover all” judgments on what appears here…Because so much of it, is just people working through their issues [or sharing a happy moment in their life], in a place that’s supposed to be available for that exact thing.

I’d ask boys to understand, the toll it has taken on so many of us…being out here in the world…We are human…and BoyChat is one of our outlets.

I’d also ask them to not place to much emphasis on BoyChat…to not take it to seriously…to let those of us who are here be human, and have our place for being human.

As a side…it would be nice to have genuine boys posting at BoyChat, again. As I expect you are aware…we once did…though it was very few.

BoyChat has lost a deeply valuable, balancing voice and perspective, in their absence. That observation is dead correct.

I have little hope, in seeing the day this changes…though I hope I am wrong.

We all know it is complicated…We all know, there are dangers lurking out there. Some days I am glad there aren’t boys coming onto the radar, by associating themselves with this board. Sometimes, I think it’s for the better that we remain apart…especially in forums like these.

By the way…Thank you, for this post…and I mean that sincerely. There is a lot of importance, in what you have expressed here.

Robin Sharpe…


Date: August 31, 2015

01) Robin Sharpe has passed away

02) BoyWiki: Robin Sharpe

If you did not know…Robin Sharpe was a very brave Canadian, who spent years fighting “child pornography” prohibition laws. He paid a high price for his unflinching ethical stance.

His official date of death is not known by me, but I wanted to memorialize this giant amongst BoyLovers.

I did locate this article by Tom O’Carroll, which I think is fitting to share at a time like this.

I’ve had a great deal of empathy and respect for Robin, over the years.

……..Sub-Blog Archive | OLF Memorial Page

Blackmail Is Wrong…

Date: August 31, 2015

01) BoyChat: Dangerous…

“I would like to find a way to persuade him, blackmail him or force him to tell the truth. But I don’t know how.”

I would not give an answer to this, even if I imagined I had one. Blackmail is a serious crime…and deservedly so.

My advice is, Just don’t!

You’re likely to end up in more legal trouble, or worse.

In the past, I’ve had to watch one of my dearest BL friends get snared by the legal system…and refuse to ever accept the realities of his circumstance in the aftermath…He decided he was going to do what he wanted [including manipulation of other people]…Over a handful of years, he went from this beautiful, loving person…evolving into someone constantly dancing around the fire, till it burned him again…after which he went completely off the rails, became someone I don’t even recognize…did things that were way, way crossing the line, the likes of which I [and I think most of us] would only have condemned without reservation…became abusive and estranged, cutting off all contact…Three or four years later, he turned up in the news, for something particularly heinous…

Again…I don’t recognize “that” person, who is now likely to die in prison…and who betrayed…everyone of us, and everything good about BoyLove.

If you want to blackmail someone…you are looking down that same road. Even if you think you aren’t…you have no way of knowing how this will play out, or what you’ll be sucked into.

He became obsessed with hurting someone…Initially, it was a boy who he previously tried to make his YF [Young Friend]. Gut wrenching, sickening and personally horrifying and embarrassing, watching him turn on that kid…Apparently, he eventually took out his rage on another hapless boy, he gained access to.

Bad things happened to him, which he did not deserve…but that never justified him forcing bad things onto other people.

You cannot…you must not, deal from the darkness…not even when you think someone deserves it. It will consume you, and possibly those close to you.

I’m not aware of many BoyChat cases, of this specific nature…But what I am aware of, is too many…I don’t want to see anymore.

Don’t be a sociopathic criminal…Don’t imagine you can get away with manipulating people these ways.