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Date: October 25, 2017
“As we approach Halloween, we again explore our (often irrational) fears, why they happen, and what we can do to overcome them. Your calls and emails, and we conclude the show with Dr. Caleb Lack, a clinical psychologist and expert on anxiety disorders.” Ghost Stories 2017 (TTA Podcast 350): |
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 – Atheist Media Links
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Our Love Frontier
Ever since early childhood, I’m scared of vomiting. I don’t know why it began nor why do I fear it. That caused me to overindulge in medication once and I got pretty poisoned, at age 14. My parents thought it was a suicide attempt.
That’s a curious one…but I think I do understand it…
…Vomiting was a lot more stressful and alarming when I was a boy, because I could have several successions of violent purging, immediately in a row…leading to an inability to even breathe for…a minute or so…
…Today, I have a lot more mental control over bodily functions like this…However strange that may sound, it’s true.
My phobias are more typical…snakes and heights…
…I suppose it might make sense to mention being outed, as a phobia…but, honestly…I’ve lived under this credible threat for so many years, it’s kind of…become a thing that keeps me focused…
…I directly know exactly why, it is so vital that I keep doing what I am doing, because of all I have gone through in life…including this…
…I live with the reasons…They are concrete, in my life.
I never minded being outed. As a kid, I even gave sincere effort into being outed. It kinda made me feel special. So, my only friends were misfits like me. I actually enjoyed it. I also took bullying in a good-hearted manner, specially because no other kids ever actually got to hit me. I like being called a lunatic, go figure.
Ideally…I want to be fully out…
…I don’t think I’d ever stop using my pseudonym [Steve Diamond]…because after eleven plus years…I am Steve Diamond, more literally than any other name…even if it’s not my legal name…So, I cant see myself running around changing all my profiles, webpages, media and such, to reflect my legal name…
But for many years, I have wanted to be done with the secrecy, as well as the threat of being outed held over my head for years…
…It’s not easy, in this type of culture…There is a ravenous subculture in the USA, which has an unhealthy obsession with tormenting “pedophiles”…Not everybody is part of it…But there’s certainly enough of those sociopaths, to where they can become a serious problem.
I’m not afraid of living an out life, based upon my own personal merits…I have nothing to be ashamed of, and have spent my life doing good works…
…It’s all the insane baggage that other people drag along with them [their own baggage, to be clear], when they obnoxiously try to pick a very public fight with MAPs, on the grounds that said MAP exists, and is expressing things to the world.
All this baggage and obnoxious behavior, exploits the irrational, broader public phobia.
…Since there is no MAP organization to back me up and support me in times of personal peril…Well…I’ve begrudgingly remained “in the closet”, out of pure necessity.
I’ve wanted “boots on the ground” for many years, honestly.
Ah, when it comes to pedophilia, I need more tact. I don’t tell that to everyone.