Let’s Discuss the Infamous Age Difference in “Call Me By Your Name”…


Date: January 25, 2018

01) Let’s Discuss the Infamous Age Difference in “Call Me By Your Name”

“The setting of Call Me By Your Name is in Europe; particularly in Italy where the age of consent finds itself being 14-years-old. Elio is, well, 17. I don’t see any laws being broken for there to be a technical discussion about the age difference. It almost feels as though anyone declaring the film a pedophiliac one is, to begin with, declaring their understanding of pedophilia to be based on the age of consent. To end with, this further on seems to fit itself into an Americanized idealized mindset that is flawed. Why is it that, at times, people revolve everything around the ideals of America? Shockingly, even in America, in thirty-nine states, their sexual activities are entirely legal. So the real question is, what exactly is the issue at hand?

Elio is 17; Oliver is 24. Ask yourself, based on your morals, what seems far more appropriate, a couple whose ages are precisely 18 and 64, or a couple of 17 and 24. What exactly stands between these two relationships – legalities (or lack thereof)? Do legalities dictate your morality, your sexuality? Your well understood consent?

And even then, there still is no solid argument for anyone to state that the narrative is a pedophiliac or even predatory one. Everything is well within bounds, laws and more importantly, their approval. The consent is very much there.”

We could say this is broader homophobia…but, it is definitely ageism.

I don’t believe power imbalance, is a nullifier of good ethics…nor anything that erases the natural intent, envisioned in one’s own heart.

…By extension…I certainly don’t buy into the idea, that age difference [even “life phase” differences] stands in the way, of a naturally occurring, mutually loving relationship.

There is no accounting, for the vast depths of human affection…nor that of a human’s need for such affection.

Humans are amazing in this way…Our diversity and range in sexuality, is vast…more so, than any other species…For nearly every unique orientation and taste…if one looks long and broadly enough…they will eventually find their counterpart, who also loves taking part.

…This is why genuine child adult sexual relations have been known to happen, have been acknowledged and documented…They naturally occur, when given the chance…And they outright blossom, if they are allowed too.

Getting back to the article, however…

…The base issue is ageism…That’s why so many people are up in arms, over a perfectly legal, demonstrably not predatory relationship.

There’s probably a good bit of bitter resentment in there, also…As so many of the people condemning it, were not able to have the same thing for themselves…and hence, “it’s only fair” that nobody else be allowed to have it…lest what has been stripped from them, be mockingly rubbed in their faces, as they watch others enjoy it freely.

In addition…too many people do, as this article suggests, tie their moral judgments in with “what is legal”…without a thought, over whether the law, itself, or the motives behind it, or the outcomes of it, are morally just.

It’s tragic, too…Most people just adhere, to what they are told to think, say, and act like…

…Thinking for one’s self, and looking beyond the social rhetoric, is not only a lost art…It’s something that most people will hold you in contempt for…particularly if it concerns matters of sexuality.

For the record…I think it’s ridiculous, throwing a fit over an age difference of seven years, between two young people…

…But, I don’t believe it’s any less ridiculous to throw a fit, should the age difference be fifty years…or more.

Pure, loving relationships are still pure, loving relationships…regardless of any difference in age.

3 thoughts on “Let’s Discuss the Infamous Age Difference in “Call Me By Your Name”…

  1. feinmann0

    Stickman Bangkok: ‘The western woman’s (ww) perspective of seeing a 55+ western male holding hands with a 20’s something Thai woman as they walk down the street …
    Me: “What do you think of that couple?”
    ww: “He is a pervert, molester, can’t get a woman his age, etc.”
    Me: “You don’t think they are in love?”
    ww: “It is impossible for them to be in love. They do not know what true love is.”
    Me: “And you do?”
    ww: “Yes, true love is …” which includes some romantic literature reference or some reference to a movie, etc.
    Me: “But, isn’t that your definition of true love, and if they say they love each other and are happy, can you not be happy for them?”
    ww: “I can never be happy for them, because they are living a lie.”

    From the Thai perspective though, when the same question is asked regarding the older western man and young Thai woman, it basically comes down to if they are happy then good for them. More times than not, they wish they can find someone to take care of them.

    The next time you see an older western male holding hands with a young Thai woman, try to remove your callous, ignorant, morally superior, judgmental attitude and try to look with an open minded, non biased, objective view, and you might just find they are actually happy. This does not have to fit in your own personal definition of happiness, but let these two people live their own life without your biased view. Any two people can come together for different reasons and yet it seems to me that only the western mindset continuously breeds contempt for these situations.’

    I can imagine a similar conversation resulting in the case of an adult man holding the hand of an early-teen boy as they walk down the street.

    As an aside, the only time I felt comfortable holding hands with a boy in public (he insisted), and he was twenty-five years younger than me, was in Sri Lanka. In that country and in certain Muslim countries, two guys holding hands signalled close friendship and brotherhood.

    Reply
    1. eqfoundation Post author

      Great comment…

      I’m aware of the “Muslim culture” [or is it more an eastern culture thing?] practice, yes.

      I’ve never understood why so many people scoff at, devalue and try to destroy, what gives others lives so much meaning.

      …It’s just totally heartless.

      Reply

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