How to Think More About Sex…


Date: June 08, 2018

01) How to Think More About Sex

“This short film accompanies the book HOW TO THINK MORE ABOUT SEX by Alain de Botton, published on 10th May 2012 by Pan Macmillan as part of The School of Life book series.

For more information, visit The School of Life website –

This short movie is ambiguous, until the very tail end…where it seems to conclude, that you shouldn’t sleep around…

Though I’m not up to writing a lot, today…I feel like this demands a response…

…Not only do I dislike it when I’ve invested the time into watching their media, and putting together a blog post for it…just to get a kind of “parting shot”, that sort of turns the ambiguity on it’s head…

…But I really hate it, when I’m jarred out of the flow of what I’m watching [a balanced look at an issue, from multiple viewpoints], to be quickly confronted with something I likely disagree with…seconds before the media ends.

It feels like a “bait and switch”…

The Good:

I think this explores a realm in sexuality, in a fair and honest way…for however deep a “ten minute” video can.

I like that it contrasts the different things some people expect, and how they experience things when something unexpected happens.

This opens the door to dialogue, about what we need and expect as individuals…dialogue that’s important, in helping us live our lives to the fullest.

The Question:

Is monogamy important?

…Or, more specific…Is monogamy something that everybody should be striving towards?

Personally…I respect “open” relationships…

This is not the same thing as saying, “That’s what I would choose to do”…But I do understand, sexual monogamy does not work for every relationship.

I think…so long as the people involved are honest with each other, and either accept each other in this or have the freedom to leave…it’s okay.

I just felt like the video’s last line made it seem, like the ideal is to have only one sexual partner at any given time…or, a lifelong sexual partner…

…I cant say as I find this realistic…or natural.

As a BoyLover:

The question of multiple sexual companions at the same time, overlapping, is an obvious question…

…Is it ethical to have more than one boy, as an intimate companion during the same time era?…

…Are threesomes ethical?…group orgies?…closely aged brothers?…

Is it true…that your current boy keeps you tied into the child population, and helps bridge you to other boys?…

…What happens, if you’ve only ever had one relationship with one boy…and he grows out of being a boy?…

I cant argue against the fact…that it is a natural flow of things for a BL who is open, and has boys in his life…to be introduced to new boys, by his current boy friends…

…I cant argue against…that a bunch of horny males getting together, can naturally lead to sexual relations…if everybody is adventurous enough…

…I’ve never seen that as immoral…

In fact…given the social structure we live in, where they don’t want young males making babies they’re not allowed to support…it’s always seemed like giving them a place to put their erections other than a vagina, becomes all the more moral and compassionate.

I’ve never seen a problem in loving boys…nor in being a BL…It’s an obvious, natural thing…

One Base Rule:

No matter who you are, or how you lean…you must always respect and love your companions…

…Sometimes…often, really…this means loving them, by respecting that they do not wish to be sexually loved by you…even when you so badly wish to sexually love them…

…This is a selfless, sacrificing kind of love…It’s how you know that you honestly love someone…when you put their needs and desires, above your own.

If you live by this…I figure…laws and social bigotries be damned…

…”you”, yourself…are not immoral in your sexual relationships…On the contrary…you are highly moral…

…And, hence…it is not immoral, to be involved with people who share your outlook.

M.A. Net

15 thoughts on “How to Think More About Sex…

  1. Wil

    I could teach a university level course… Naturally that I wouldn’t want to teach it to them they already now, perhaps I should teach at the university level but to grade schoolers hmmm, it’s worth a shot ~ or ten

  2. Wil

    …you’d never believe in a hundred years, I’ll bet, what my profession was before retiring five years ago… cut me some slack, I’ve spent the last five years navigating the social media platforms and hashtagging nonsensical dreck. I haven’t had a physical keyboard with tactile feedback readily available in my pocket in a longer span than that ((when did virtual become the preference over actual, anyway?? wasn’t virtual supposed to be there, in a pinch, to get you by… virtual is by definition a very poor substitute for actual, and yet ~ *sigh*))… nowadays practically everything I compose is by way of iOS and distributed wireless computational computing of vocal transliteration algorithms!!! Don’t blame me, blame automation! I’m not a caveman, y’know!! Hahaha

    1. eqfoundation Post author

      You need a normal PC! 🙂

      I own a micro PC…it’s within arms reach…but, I never use it…The keyboard is tiny!

      I could only imagine the horror, of having to use a tablet or smartphone, to run this blog.

      You have my sympathies…

      …And my guess, since I’m presuming it’s going to be ironic…is, an English [composition?] teacher! 😉

  3. Wil

    Corporate Correspondence and Documents of the Executive Relations Department of a very high pro…nah, the *highest* high profile multimedia & technology conglomerate on earth. That was what laid the mortgage, and I whored myself out on the side to a few periodicals and political campaigns. I’m (VERY) modestly published and had a 12 month reoccurring piece for a JustGetThere (site is no longer up, save the Wayback Machine catalogue). I had one paying gig through CBS (cbs interactive) and I published for the first Obama’s campaign’s newsletter ~ none of which paid very much that helped satisfy my inner artist, so I could continue slaving away for my former corporate masters until I could afford to retire, LOL

      1. Wil

        Actually it’s pretty modest, all things given. Sure, I get to claim that I’m published but it totally barely counts at all and it periodicals mostly ~ hahaha

  4. feinmann0

    Re Alain de Boutton. from Wiki: ‘Negative reviews allege that de Botton tends to state the obvious and have characterized some of his books as pompous and lacking focus’

    My take on monogamy versus adultery. Heterosexual men and women tend to inhabit two separate planes that interface only at a single set of points. Relationships and desire are two topics that do not often fall within that set of intersecting points. Women’s need for security is in stark contrast to men’s need for adventure and excitement.

    “The question of multiple sexual companions at the same time, overlapping, is an obvious question … Is it ethical to have more than one boy, as an intimate companion during the same time era?… Are threesomes ethical?…group orgies?…closely aged brothers?… Is it true…that your current boy keeps you tied into the child population, and helps bridge you to other boys?…”

    Wow, that is quite a few questions! IF we lived in a world where it was possible to legally have a consensual intimate relationship with a child, then it would surely have to be a world devoid of prurience, puritanism and prejudice, a world within which intimacy between human beings irrespective of age, was praised, promoted and protected.

    From Brogersma: ”I was twelve years of age when I began to masturbate. Guys from school, groups of six to twelve, used to go to one guy’s house, after school, whose parents worked and didn’t get home until about 6 p.m. We had jack-off contests like: who could squirt the farthest, who could last the longest, the tempo of the stroke being set by following the beat of a song on a record. Who could come with the most quantity into a Mason jar; who could come the most number of repeat climaxes in measured time. There was mild homosexual contact: touching another guy, never actually stroking another guy to climax, checking out each other’s equipment. Group nudity and checking out asses.”

    “Given on the one hand this great willingness of many boys and on the other hand the great psychological susceptibility of men to sexual excitement; add to that the fact that the average man is much more inclined than is a woman to become sexually active soon after meeting an attractive prospective partner; add further the social repression which renders long-lasting man/boy relationships especially difficult and dangerous, then it can easily be understood how an energetic, spirited, active man who is enterprising rather than timid, endowed with a strong sexual appetite, may have dealings with a considerable number of boys. Hajo Ortil, famous leader of a German youth group, once declared, ‘I believe during my life I have welcomed some 800 naked boys into my bed, all willing to be satisfied and to satisfy me. Now they’ve all grown to adult men. Not a single one of them ever complained.’ And when the Australian police, after the death of Clarence Osborne, discovered that this unimpressive court recorder over a twenty-year period had been sexually intimate with 2500 boys, many of whom now occupied important positions in Australian public life, nothing, again, astonished them more than the fact that not a single ‘victim’ had ever complained or protested, and a surprising number appeared to revere his memory.”

    From the foregoing accounts, so long as the boy-lover provides a source of fun and that certain something the boy needs but cannot find anywhere else to ease his entrance into an adult world, then monogamy and adultery become irrelevant.

    “What happens, if you’ve only ever had one relationship with one boy…and he grows out of being a boy?…”

    Brongersma relates typical cases where the boy returns as an older youth to his boylover for advice, or even sex. (The End of the Affair, p211).

    1. eqfoundation Post author

      “Wow, that is quite a few questions!”

      LoL!…Yeah… 🙂

      Thank you, for those great answers.

      I wasn’t so much expecting a detailed response…just outlining a few of the thoughts that go through my mind, where it comes to sexual monogamy.

      I agree…It’s not so much important, unless the relationship demands it.

    1. Wil

      I’m not sure how to contribute without making it a response to something else if you would teach me, I would be willing to learn.

      1. eqfoundation Post author

        There is a “submit content” link on the right side of my blog, near the top…It’s orange…The page has a form, for accepting this type of thing.

        That’s a great video…I’m thinking it may be an excerpt from Chicken Hawk?

        I’m not sure if that channel is going to keep their videos live for long…Maybe I’ll share it, anyway.

      2. Wil

        are there ANY non-pornographic (because: *le gasp!* the horror!, not sex!!) video content suppliers out there at all, Norway, Switzerland, or otherwise? legit, on-the-level / up-and-up type joints, with actual relevant material?

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