Orphaned Comment I Left on a Blog of Tom Grauer…


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Date: November 10, 2018

01) Tom O’Carroll May Not Support Me, But I Support Him [Dead Link Removed]

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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Forgive the length of this…I’m a keyboard blabbermouth…and there’s really a lot that can be discussed here.

americanrifleman09 has an excellent point.

It’s not so much that we BoyLovers have been “leading the movement”, so much as we’ve been magnified by the social stigmas associated with us…Which is to say, people are more likely to point a finger at us, judging and condemning us as “the other”.

Due to a number of social prejudices…we are easy to parade in front of the masses, throw cheap shots at…and generally formulate the most extreme “pedophile horror stories” about.

That being said…I still have to go back to a principle I mentioned here, earlier…

…The homosexual pedophile [hebephile & ephebophile] community is every bit as valid, as any other sexual community…It has it’s own need for community, culture, peer support, etc, etc…

Even if I did happen to agree it would be better if Girl-Lovers took the brunt of exposure [I honestly don’t, but if I did…]…I don’t see much of anything that I do, changing…I’m not going to close up shop, and go away.

…Life from the perspective of a homosexual pedophile, is an important thing to document and share…It’s important to be out here, and be seen as who and what I am…even if it were only important to other homosexual pedophiles, and nobody else.

I’ve pretty well always wanted to see more Girl-Lovers involved…I’ve wanted to see more joint ventures, between our communities…and it’s pained me over the decades, to witness the sometimes vicious bad will, that’s existed within and between both the BL and GL communities.

On such BL strongholds as BoyChat…the degree of disdain toward GLs, has at times been mind boggling to me…And many BCers don’t like inclusive terms like Child Lover…Some identify deeply with the homosexual movement, and don’t care so much about what falls outside of their own interests.

In addition…there is this unfortunate reality…that these two communities merging, sort of brings together this “soup of variables”, which are not all native to each community…

…Is the issue of pregnancy in twelve to seventeen year old girls a natural problem for homosexual BoyLovers?…Absolutely not.

…Do Girl-Lovers have to deal with the “anal sex” stigma, that so many of us BoyLovers get saddled with [even when we’ve never done such a thing, and would not]?…No.

In their own ways…both of these things are major social pressures, to willingly take on and shoulder.

It is understandable…just why people who already feel like they are in an impossible position, might not want to take on fights they don’t view as “their own”…And even more so, when they believe other communities wont be there for them.

Not everybody has gotten to the point where they see the writing on the wall…and they believe society needs to change so badly, that they decide they are going to start speaking truth about every issue that comes in front of them, whether they believe it is “their issue”, or not.

I think that’s one of the biggest problems within the MAP community…

…Self preservation still trumps everything else…Most are hiding in their proverbial bunkers.

Considering how many of us there are…few people have honestly laid their own neck on the line.

As to the namesake point of your post…

…Upon broader reading of your writing…I can see, that you do have something of genuine substance, to offer and consider…Even if the earliest offerings were extreme…highly controversial, to say the least…and not entirely all, something I can condone…

For me…having been involved for a few decades…the fire is more less in decline…And I see the fight, right now, as being over equal, open access to the lines of communication [ie: the internet, and services on it] which everybody else enjoys…as well as a fundamental human right, to our own identity…as well as to human rights protections…

…This may place me in a “mild” position, in comparison to some [like yourself]…But, believe me…I’ve had to fight a war, for over a decade, based on these stances alone…

I believe…if we can organize enough stubborn MAPs, who aren’t going to tolerate the way things presently are…then these goals are attainable, in this time era.

I believe these are battles we can win…and we are winning.

…We have a new generation of MAPs, who may not hold all of my views…and some of what they do may annoy me…But we finally have young MAPs, not afraid to take the internet by storm, and outwardly identify as MAPs…This is a substantial thing, in itself.

The future internet, is going to be one where MAPs will be recognized and accepted as part of it…an expected part of it.

Something to consider:

Your blog could become some type of test, for free speech on wordpress.com…if enough of the censorship crazies get into a huff over it.

…I don’t believe most people understand, just how dirty, sinister and underhanded the really nasty zealots get…nor the large network that they make up…

…They can tap into their “journalists” associated with high traffic “news” websites, who aren’t afraid to author and spread wholesale lies, aimed at specific targets…They are well refined, in creating false panics aimed at other people, and exploiting the panics they have created, to the detriment of their targeted victims…

To people like that…it does not matter whether they behave morally, or not…They want and demand, what they want and demand…and they don’t care what they have to do, to get it.

I think, wordpress.com resisting the very public pressure when Tom O’Carroll first started blogging here, is an extremely good sign…It’s what prompted me to open an account here, after blog.com pulled an extremely dirty blog suspension on me [after two plus years of very active blogging]…

…I’m just not exactly sure how far wordpress.com is willing to extend it’s good graces, to bloggers who fall outside of “the polite” discourse…

I’ve already been through “the great blog purge” of 2006…and bounced around on various blog platforms, of differing reliability and trustworthiness, until 2013…There’s tons of personal writing I’ve done over the past decade plus, which is no longer online directly because of this…A lot of my earlier content, isn’t so terribly unlike the “in your face” style of your writing…

I’ve found, over the years…that altering my persona, tempering and refining it, has generally served me well…as I don’t really care to repeat re-building from square one, for the fifth [arguably, the sixth or seventh] time…

…If I were still young, this would not be so much of a problem…But, I’ve got bad eyes, bad health…and I’m generally just going down hill…and I need stability in my home bases online…I have it in me, to evolve into something else…but, I don’t know if I have it in me, to rebuild what I have with my blog [because it’s such a vast thing, I’ve created]…and I love being a blogger…

On that note…I’m not telling, nor encouraging, you to stop what you are doing with this blog…

…I’m just hoping that you understand the possible ramifications, for MAP bloggers who are on this platform, and who may decide to intermingle with your blog…in the event that some cancerous group of zealots, successfully gets wordpress.com by the “spooked advertiser, or blogger boycott” balls.

Maybe I’ve personally distanced myself enough…I don’t know…But I was hardly at the center of the storm, the first time that sort of thing happened.

While I do think this world is in desperate need of the stark reality we have to offer…this battlefield is anything but even…And I don’t believe we are in a strong enough position, today, to offer that reality and withstand the backlash.

Despite what progress we may have made, things are still fragile…and I have to agree with Tom…This is an era, for building non-criminal MAP networks [and bodies of writing, literature, media, etc.]…It’s a time to establish ourselves, as moral human beings and legal entities…

…It’s not a time to get careless, nor lack a respectful understanding, of what the frothing at the mouth zealots can do to us…And they can get away, with doing a lot of horrible things to us…make no mistakes about this…

…Many, many MAPs have been badly hurt, because they did not respect the fact…that sociopaths [of many different stripes] will come after them…nor that we don’t have an established network of MAPs, to guard their back.

I recently had to do, what some people are representing as “a retreat” on Twitter…because the utility and importance of my account [given all I’ve invested into it over the years], and keeping my own efforts focused on my prime objectives, outweighed the pleasures, of exposing a certain sociopath who’s been targeting and threatening me for many months, for the utter brain dead idiot that they are…

Does it stink, not being able to directly confront this sociopath, and their followers?…You bet it does…

…Is it a blow to the ego, going quiet under these circumstances?…Yup…

…But, ultimately, I win every single day that I am out here, as they remain out there, stewing in their own venom.

The current fight is not about abolishing the age of consent, nor even especially changing the world to what we think it should be…

I think it was Harry Hay, though it might have been somebody else…who made the comment, “we are in the battle, before the battle”…

…Which is another way of saying, we are fighting to get over the hurdles, which are impeding us from getting to the actual root conflict…

It’s a human rights tragedy that we are still fighting that battle, and not the true battle we need to be fighting…But until we manage nullifying all the brazen B.S. this current battle entails…we are not making any progress on the real battle…

…Which is why some of us have taken things back to the basics…and decided to fight such things, as the stereotypes that plague us…as well as the people, mindsets and tactics, which attempt to destroy us.

I want to end this on a good note, however…not that the previous notes were especially bad, I hope…

…But I want to say, I think I understand where you are coming from…because I have been there, myself…I cycled through it, as a really long phase of my own life…

…I could no longer stomach the dishonesty and abuses of this world…and I started tearing into it, in my own particular way.

I’m not displeased with what came out of that phase of my life…It was pure, unadulterated honesty…though a lot of it was very sharp tongued…Some of it delivered a good “bitch slap”, to this world…Some of it openly mocked, the world that presently exists…

…It was something within me, that I had to let out…and set free into the world…

I presume, you are going through that phase in your own life.

…And I think, it’s a generally positive, necessary experience.


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7 thoughts on “Orphaned Comment I Left on a Blog of Tom Grauer…

  1. feinmann0

    And did Tom Grauer, or anyone, offer any response? I cannot recall.

    “…Self preservation still trumps everything else…Most are hiding in their proverbial bunkers. Considering how many of us there are…few people have honestly laid their own neck on the line.”

    Not just laying their necks on the line, even participating on pro-MAP blogs. The lack of comments on on-topic blogs never ceases to amaze me. Their absence hardly inspires confidence, in fact I find it impossible to use the term ‘community’ or ‘group’ when discussing minor-attracted people. How can you have a community when no-one ever meets anyone else?

    Incidentally, Tom Grauer has been in a quiescent phase over the past month, not that it matters particularly given his repeated denigration of those attracted to young boys: “the functionality of the regular homos is much superior to that of the pedo ones, which lends empirical credence to the observation that clinical pedos really are neurologically messed up”. Tom Grauer, just another stoker of social prejudice, parading us in front of the masses, throwing cheap shots at …

    Reply
    1. eqfoundation Post author

      “And did Tom Grauer, or anyone, offer any response? I cannot recall.”

      I think he gave it a like…but I don’t recall any response from him…I’m not sure if it got any direct responses…I don’t think it did, though.

      “The lack of comments on on-topic blogs never ceases to amaze me.”

      I’ve been doing this for over thirteen years…and I’ve mostly been writing with zero response…”writing to myself”?…up until the last few years…

      It didn’t matter…I’m an introvert…I actually draw energy, off of being alone…and working alone…and being in my own head…

      I’ve been building a diverse body of writing…and I’d still be doing this, even if nobody were leaving comments.

      I share your concern about the lack of interaction, however.

      “Incidentally, Tom Grauer has been in a quiescent phase over the past month…”

      I’ve never been able to decipher, that he really had any set, long term vision on where to take things…

      I didn’t either, when I started blogging…but I had a bottomless well of energy, will and cause, which produced content.

      I’m not so sure…that the “male sexualist” thing isn’t closer to being an inside joke, than a genuinely held passion.

      There’s reasons I haven’t been in a hurry, to add them to my EQF Community Links page…I figure, we wait and see if they last…and what they choose to do…

      “Tom Grauer, just another stoker of social prejudice, parading us in front of the masses, throwing cheap shots at …”

      …And, this choice of direction definitely is making an impression.

      …Maybe he want’s the drama to garner attention?

      Reply
  2. Yure

    Odd, I have never seen such disdain towards girl-lovers in Boychat. In fact, isn’t Baldur a sporadic poster there (and isn’t him a GL himself)?

    Reply
    1. eqfoundation Post author

      Yes…some GLs do visit BC.

      But there is this click of BoyChatters, who can get down right nasty, when GLs show up and start making GC type posts [like while Girl-Chat is down].

      Shortly before the death of Gatekeeper [a very old BoyChatter], he expressed a wish that BLs and GLs could finally call a truce, and maybe even share a board…I agreed with it…and there was even a swipe taken at me, for this.

      Some BoyChatters have issues.

      There’s been snits between the communities, which go way, way back.

      I think it’s foolishness…but you cant make other people behave in a civilized manner.

      If you haven’t seen it…well…lucky you! 😉

      …But, if you hang around long enough, you likely will encounter it…It can get ugly.

      Reply
      1. Yure

        Well, some of my most trusted allies are girl lovers. I don’t think community can change that. And maybe the next wave of MAPs can overcome that.

  3. feinmann0

    “On such BL strongholds as BoyChat…the degree of disdain toward GLs, has at times been mind boggling to me…And many BCers don’t like inclusive terms like Child Lover…Some identify deeply with the homosexual movement, and don’t care so much about what falls outside of their own interests.”

    My feeling is that engaging with online social networks amplifies extremes in human behaviour, more often than not bringing out the worst in people, as evidenced in the BoyChat selfishness you highlight. It takes little courage to join a group and even less to obtain pleasure from pillorying others cowardly from behind the group’s barricades; however, it does take courage to go it alone and confront those who mean you harm, by advertising what you are in their faces.

    Watching a 1971 fly-on-the-wall documentary: youtube.com/watch?v=wTRntQUhipc about Quentin Crisp made me realise that his brand of homosexuality was of the latter, courageous sort, and rather different from the tribal variety on display in Gay Pride marches today. There is a kernel of truth in Crisp’s suggestion that gay men are so self-centred that they are incapable of love and lack the capacity to care about the welfare of other people. But I think he touches on something that is not just a gay-man trait. It is a selfish human trait too – one that becomes super-evident when discrimination is hurled from one group towards another.

    Incidentally, I love some of Quentin’s quotes, for example: “However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.”

    Reply
    1. eqfoundation Post author

      I agree…It’s hard not to be pulled into what the crowd is doing…

      I suppose…if you’re an introvert like me…you actually have a tendency not to value so much what the majority is doing…but place more value in striking onto your own path.

      That documentary is wonderful…I’ve never done drag…and I hated the part where he was filing his nails [the sound was just getting to me, today]…but that aside…I see a lot of myself, in what Quentin is saying…and his behavior…I don’t like to clean, either.

      “Incidentally, I love some of Quentin’s quotes…”

      I need to look into that, and maybe make a few new blog headers out of his quotes.

      I think I’m going to share that documentary…Likely in SX-TV.

      Reply

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