When will we stop fearing sex?…

Date: December 12, 2018

There is lightly censored porn in the linked article.

01) When will we stop fearing sex?

“I’m so fucking tired of this. I’m so tired of dredging up the same arguments, trying desperately to distill my rage in a constructive way. Not only because this affects my livelihood and my friends’ livelihoods, and because it disproportionately hurts POC and marginalized people, but because it’s such an ass-backwards approach to solving the “problem.” We know the “just filter the bad stuff” tactic is impossible to implement at best and completely ineffectual at worst, so why are we still doing it?

Oh right, because sex. That’s how we handle sex in this country. By ridiculing, demonizing, and burying it. By plugging our ears and yelling LA LA LA CAN’T HEAR YOU.

I mean, if sex ed classes literally taught kids that sex can be pleasurable it would already be a dream come true. Adding discussions of consent, or accurate diagrams of the clitoris, would be groundbreaking. But when I think about sex ed in America, sometimes I go further and fantasize about implementing a program that teaches porn literacy. Like, what would the world be like if young people were exposed to queer, feminist porn? Imagine it. Imagine kids learning that sex is an incredible range of activities, not any one act. That communicating during sex isn’t scary. That all bodies and gender expressions are equally valid. That sex toys and safer sex practices are nothing to be ashamed of.

What if we taught young people how to consume porn, rather than acting like they’ll never watch it?

Instead, I’ve watched Instagram ban feminist sex shops and sex workers, heard horror stories of PayPal shutting down accounts. Big payment processors have closed so-called “high risk” accounts of porn performers. YouTube sees fit to hide and demonetize LGBTQ videos. Facebook and Instagram constantly badger me to boost my posts, then refuse to take my dirty dirty money. It’s the same story: spineless corporations puffing themselves up, making a moral statement, acting like they’re protecting our innocent children. Lumping sex tirelessly, lazily, with violence. The passage of SESTA/FOSTA has only allowed these efforts to be more brazen.

As I was writing this, my Starbucks companion Amy said, “it’s like they want to uninvent sex.” Yes. It’s exactly like that.”

I greatly empathize.

4 thoughts on “When will we stop fearing sex?…

  1. Pete

    After decades of progress since the Second World War in banishing inappropriate embarassment, guilt and shame about sexuality, combined with a small cartel of corporates domineering the Web, we have now entered into a regressive cycle that I fear will last many more years.

    Until persons in authority realise that they are appeasing a very vocal small minority of puritans, and the Web goes back to its roots of being very much a level playing field and not a mercantile market, this fear of sex (especially anything related to children/adolescents) will sadly continue.

    1. eqfoundation Post author

      This is why we desperately need a resurgence of sex positive people, right now.

      We’ve been trapped in the sexual dark ages for decades…Something has got to give.

  2. Pete

    Yes indeed, Steve, we do. It took me decades to become sex positive, because of a big puritan influence on me by an assortment of people, now i’m making up for lost time and pleasure in being quite outspoken about sexual matters on the social media. From that, hopefully will encourage others to be so, ideally movers & shakers that carry much influence in law and politics. That would be wonderful!

    1. eqfoundation Post author

      I’m glad you are out here with us, Pete.

      Having grown up in a deeply conservative, Baptist church/school…my expressed views were much more restrained when I first came online…

      …They were, essentially, of the “virtuous pedophiles” strain…

      …After years of actually reading the history…various studies…becoming educated on the biased slant imposed upon research…and seeing first hand, just how enthusiastic the moral supremacists are to outright fuck us over at every possible chance…my stance permanently pivoted, to highlighting and embracing the unspoken and neglected.

      My efforts have been a massive middle finger, to all the overbearing a-holes out there, who imagine they can sever us from our own humanity…who think they can cover up, everything good, decent and phenomenal about us…

      …Such people are the biggest monsters, the human species have ever produced.


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