Positive Sex Ed for your child at home…

Date: October 07, 2019

01) Positive Sex Ed for your child at home

“It’s often said that there is no handbook for raising kids. Such is even truer when it comes to a child’s sexual behavior and development.

Though sex education, in general, has improved in some schools, psychologist Toni Cavanagh Johnson says in her book Understanding Children’s Sexual Behaviors that most schools still just instruct about “plumbing.” My impression is a bit worse.

Over the years, my college students say that sex education for kids is more like a horror movie: what diseases look like and why not to engage in any sexual behavior. When I ask my students if they were ever taught about healthy sexuality or positive sex, they look at me puzzled. In my 16 years of teaching, only one student said they learned about sex in a positive way.

Yet in a study published by CQ Researcher showed that when kids were told the truth about sexuality and were taught about healthy sex, choices, and boundaries, sexual activity among high school kids dropped by 40%, and those that did choose to engage made much smarter and careful choices.

I understand that some parents may cringe when they hear the words child and sexuality put together; however, Cavanagh Johnson notes that such sexual development starts under three, and how parents handle these stages is critical: 3 and under, 4-9 years, and 10-12 years.

So often, parents think that only older kids become interested in each other during adolescence and that having interest when kids are younger is a sign that something is wrong. This is not true. For example, a book I used with my own children It’s So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families was extremely helpful in helping my kids in an age appropriate way to understand how the body works, reproduces, and what a girl and boy can expect when reaching puberty.”

4 thoughts on “Positive Sex Ed for your child at home…

  1. feinmann0

    “So often, parents think that only older kids become interested in each other during adolescence and that having interest when kids are younger is a sign that something is wrong.”

    Absolutely! Anti-sex puritanism as so much to answer for. From the age of 6, I recall having ‘crushes’ on peer boys and peer girls … and sexual experimentation with the former. If anything, this need for sexual contact intensified rather than diminished over time. At around 10 years old, I know my desire for particular other boys was sufficiently intense to distract me from the teaching within the classroom. A few of the particular other boys were on precisely the same wavelength as me, resulting in ecstatically erotic shared intimacies, though the fear of being found out was a constant negative, as I was well aware that any parent would be horrified to learn what we were up to.

    Suffice it to say, this overwhelming need for shared consensual intimacy with boys has remained a constant with me till this day.

    1. eqfoundation Post author

      I cannot believe people are legitimately so clueless.

      I think it is honestly little more than an unspoken social “line”, which most people are scared to cross by just talking about it.

      For me, it was always there…and very pronounced by first/second grade.

      I don’t explicitly know why I naturally wanted to be sexually intimate with other boys, without even knowing what sex was…

      When people claim “children aren’t sexual beings”, they are denying the existence of countless numbers of children…including my own childhood, and yours.

      I don’t know what these deniers are even going on about…other than trying to push a distorted outlook on the issue.

      By ten…I was totally set in this…with little interest in girls.

      One of the most erotic experiences of my entire life happened when I was in second or third grade, on a swimming field trip to the YMCA…The locker room, and especially the shower room when we were getting ready to leave, was especially mind blowing…

      …fifteen boys, or so, completely naked and packed into a hot, wet, steamy room of about ten by fifteen feet…you extended your arms out, and you’d touch another boy…We were in there for several minutes.

      It’s a very cherished memory, honestly.

  2. Pete

    Absolutely, with our usual approach in the USA and Britain (where I live), being negative about sex makes it the forbidden fruit to be consumed as soon as possible (but in shameful secret).

    Taking the critical ages as set by the writer, the toileting 3 and under years the child needs to not feel their sexual organs are physically dirty; the sexually latent 4-9 years the child can learn to be confident identifying as a boy or girl and be often naked at home or at the beach etc; and in the pubescent 10-12 years, be encouraged to fully explore and enjoy playing with their sexual organs without any embarrassment, guilt or shame.

    And once the adolescent is in their early to mid-teens, then teach them the precautions but also give them the ability to start sexual relations but with boundaries and mutual respect.

    Following the above will, IMO, almost completely eradicate neuroticism, cruel and sadistic sociopathy, and much increase self-esteem and self-confidence.

    Start it with no locking of bathroom and bedroom doors, family nudity and open masturbation by the adults and their offspring.

    For further reading, learn about ‘orgastic potency’.


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