Date: May 22, 2020
This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
Sometimes in order to effectively communicate…and to minimize hostility…you’re going to speak substantially more to the concerns, beliefs and notions of whatever audience you presently happen to be in front of…and this can noticeably “change” what you are emphasizing, and how you are presenting it…
…Sometimes, in other people’s eyes…this can make you come off seeming like a fork tongued deceiver.
For example…when out among people who are likely to be hostile and paranoid towards MAPs…I’m usually centered more around our kind nature…our abilities of self control…how we are actually not so different from everybody else…
Many MAPs seeking staunch liberation, may find my words irritating…as I speak of things like our ability to remain law abiding.
…Where as when I am among fellow MAPs, I speak more unapologetic and blunt about the realities of MAP life…and about things relevant to MAPs, which much of the outside world would likely find offensive due to it’s hair trigger temperament…and lack of empathy towards these experiences.
…And then still…when I am among MAPs who are at some place in their life, vastly different from where I have arrived after a lifetime as a MAP…I generally focus more on trying to build them up, develop goodwill and expand their worldview at least a little bit…I refrain from bludgeoning them with “sex should be free” messages…or from in any way make them feel like I am demeaning them for having negative views, vastly different from my own…
Like all of us…individuals need to take their own journey of self discovery and broader learning of the world around them…and they do this in their own time, when they are ready and feel secure in doing so.
Some people never reach this phase in their life…including many MAPs…but a lot of them ultimately do…especially once they’ve become disillusioned with the establishment…and begun to figure out how social politics of the establishment actually tend to work [in the worst ways]…and how much of their life [and that of most individuals] is defined by the barriers of outside manipulation and outside hostility…Once we discover that we are literally “trapped” where we are at, by design…this is normally a game changer for any MAP.
Am I being dishonest, or dishonestly manipulative, by taking different tones and emphasizing different things, when among vastly different people and groups?…
…I just put myself out here…and remain loyal to honest dialogue, regardless of where the focus is at…
…If the immediate issue presenting itself is anger over sex slavery, or raped children and the culpability of MAPs in it…then I think it is important to emphasize what we do know, and what we don’t know…such as, most MAPs aren’t likely to have any hand in such activities. It’s important to bring an honest perspective into these kinds of issues.
…If the immediate issue is that of another MAP, who’s been fighting the good fight all of their life…and yet, “nothing” seems to have changed or gotten better…and they are experiencing extreme frustration…I have sincere empathy and understanding, which I believe I am fully within my own right to share…and to talk about…Their frustration is valid…and I will validate it…no apologies.
…If the immediate issue is anxiety over desires and social, or “human to human”, boundaries…it is valid for people to get their thoughts out into the open…it is valid to discuss and consider what a good balance is, in a mixture of rights, desires, safety and practicality.
I’ve always been a sort of chameleon…and I am a natural empathic…
…which means I recognize people and issues, from more than one perspective…I recognize that nearly nothing is all “black or white”.
…And I realize that often…in the moment…when you are with someone who is unprepared for any sort of fundamental change…the most productive thing you can do…is focus on the immediate thing which is causing them so much trouble, or distress…and leave everything else off to the side, out of the way.
You have to understand people…and how they are complicated…and vastly different…and often different, in different moments, under different circumstances.