Date: January 22, 2023
“This is the story of Becket Cook. He was a gay man in Hollywood who had quite a successful career. He gave up everything to follow Jesus. It all started with a fateful event in a coffee shop… In this video, we discuss how this happened and how he overcame common objections to what the Bible says about homosexuality. We also discuss Christians going to gay weddings, Progressive Christianity’s unbiblical (and unhelpful) stance on this topic, do’s and don’ts when someone comes out, and much more. Our goal is to talk about these topics in a loving but firm way in a culture that is hostile to a Biblical perspective on sexuality.
A lot of personal declarations there…
Being someone who’s been celibate for around thirty years now…I’m the last person who’s going to tell anyone not to be sexually celibate…
What Becket is describing…becoming bored with “the gay lifestyle”…I think this is his version of the proverbial “great transformation” [or possibly midlife crisis] we all tend to go through, during our lifetime.
Things become common and mundane…and we need to find new muses to stimulate us…It becomes too painful, to remain in our rut…This has driven the transformation of countless humans, throughout history.
With sexuality…a lot of us reach an age, where sex holds only a shadow of the meaning that it once did…and giving it up isn’t really that big of a deal.
I would caution against a few things…
…First…Don’t fall for the folly, that “one size fits all”…
For many people, their “great transformation” was an exodus out of religion.
Just because you are finding the structure you were missing within it, does not mean that people without religion are lacking that structure in themselves. Structure, meaning and happiness comes from many sources.
…Second…Don’t fall for the folly, that “homosexuality is the root of all its own problems”…
Most cultures treat us sexual minorities like pure garbage…That is just objective reality…Many individuals in sexual minorities internalize this, and suffer a great deal of mental trauma from it…In addition, lack of support, abandonment by family and friends, even physical violence [or threat of it] has a massive impact on many such individuals.
The many failures of our cultures, are fundamentally culpable.
…Third…This may be a head trip for some people…But you’re hardly the only homosexual who was never into the drugs, alcohol, gay clubs and hookups…
A lot of us don’t do those things…or at least do them in moderation…I consume small amounts of alcohol from time to time…It’s literally never been a problem for me to stop and put it down.
I dare suggest, many of us would pass for being heterosexual…until a female tries to seduce us.
…Fourth…The concept of “sin”, is a form of mental and social control. Like gods, it was created by humans, to control other humans.
Religion has heaps of its own baggage and folly…and a dark side to it.
That should never be dismissed or forgotten.
…Lastly…Don’t fall for the folly, of believing you can dictate the social identity of others…
I understand you don’t like the term “sexual minority”…even though educated estimates place homosexuals in a very pronounced minority among humans…
To be sure…I’m very skeptical that homosexual attraction has reached fully accurate reporting…I think a lot of people publicly disown their homosexuality…How many?…Who can say?…But there remain a lot of people in the closet.
At any rate…people have an inherent right to self identify as part of a sexual minority…when they are sexual beings, with a minority sexual attraction.
Religion of any name or style, has no cure for human sexuality…and religion is not especially good, healthy or constructive at controlling it.
In my experience, growing up deeply involved in the baptist church, K-12 schooling and all…human sexuality is far more powerful and primal, than religion could ever hope to be.
There were many a boy I adored, lusted and fawned over, in those christian schools…Despite the fear they once saddled me with when I was young…the bible and sermons on “hellfire”, could never beat it out of me…
…I am absolutely happy about that…I came to accept and embrace my sexuality decades ago…I am at total peace with it…A step which never would have happened, had I remained in the church.
Finally…keep in mind…there are reasons why the saying, “the worst christians, are the enthusiastic new converts”, exists. So many of them think they’ve “found the answer to all”, and they imagine that just because they are infatuated with their own new religious experience, means everybody else is certain to be as well.
That is delusional thinking…and many people who run into the arms of religion, are actually fleeing something else in their life, that they’ve not come to terms with.
Whether you like everything about yourself or not…it is always key, to come to terms with the way you naturally are, and with your personal set of needs.
It is also key, to not be ashamed of who you naturally are, nor of your personal needs.
It is the worst folly, to reject yourself.