Category Archives: In Self Defense: The Life & Times of an Atheist BoyLover

The personal “book” of my life…

The Denial of Empathy (Narrated)…


In_Self_Defense
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Date: December 03, 2020

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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What on earth is a homosexual pedophile going to have to say about their life, their status and the world around them, that would honestly fill up two decades of their life?…Why express it?…Why say anything at all?…

When I started out, I accepted the social claims and outcomes as they were…I did not question…I had no anger over them, in the bliss of my ignorance…But I had the inner sense that I could help to build some good in this world, despite whatever position I had in it.

I actually thought this world might come to appreciate what selfless “pedophiles” were willing to do, in coming forward and participating in studies with accredited institutions…or in courageously holding a long term public dialogue with the public…Frankly, in opening up the real world of real people who happen to be sexually oriented this way…so that people could begin to see and recognize, the truths versus the fallacies…and come to understand that there is literally no justification in fearing a “pedophile”, solely on the basis of them being a “pedophile”.

I’ve wanted to establish a public openness between “pedophiles” and everybody else…which is why I’ve been adamant about spending so much time, out on the major platforms of the common people.

Fanatics, and all who hold fanatical views against “pedophiles”, aggressively ignore and attack everything they are not expecting or wanting to hear, see or know.

One would think that supporting an organization like B4U-ACT since it’s very beginning, would establish that there are “pedophiles” willing and concerned with cleaning up their own backyard…that we are the literal embodiment, of a solution from within the “pedophile” demographic itself.

…But fanatics, and those with fanaticism in their minds, incredulously attack an organization which exists to literally assist “pedophiles” in maintaining personal psychological stability and social accountability…and they attack all who support such organizations.

They attack those who are best equipped to intervene, should a “pedophile” have a mental breakdown under the social pressure they are forced to live in…the absolute most insane thing they could ever do, if there were any truth to their claims of wanting to “protect children”.

I am fed up with the social and political blood lust, and its saturation absolutely everywhere.

…I am sick of being told I am sub-human and deserve all forms of atrocity inflicted upon me, by people who refuse to even look at me, and judge me for who and what I truthfully am…I am sick of this message being saturated everywhere…consciously and subconsciously…in the organizations you grow up in…in public media…this blood lust is even brazenly celebrated in “entertainment” for the masses.

There is this point that some hated minorities, races, etc, have managed to attain some level of social acceptance, where the masses are allowed to look upon what has happened to these viciously abused groups…see the impact…see the look in their eyes…and internalize that pain, in a type of mental and emotional solidarity…where they finally understand how awful, how unjust a fate has been inflicted upon people who were merely born into a much larger situation, entirely out of their own control.

That point of empathy…is what “pedophiles” are being ultimately denied…Even just striving for that point of empathy…that search for any sign of human decency towards “pedophiles”…is viciously attacked and denied to any who would want it.

After living this many years under these circumstances…the only circumstances I have ever honestly known…I have no rational reason, as to why I have not arrived at the conclusion that this world is simply evil, filled with evil people who relentlessly attack the innocent…because their sense of righteous authority claims they can.

Gays and Lesbians to some extent, have overcome this vicious denial…as have various racial minorities…Large portions of the population understand at the very least, that the hate spewed at these groups is not based in objective fact…but is there to injure the members of those minorities, and keep them in a place where they can be dominated and abused.

…Yet this bare minimum of humane honesty continues to be denied to “pedophiles”…what amounts to the absolute least in standards striven for, by anyone attempting to be honest, just and humane…anyone attempting to strive for integrity, and the better potentials within the human animal.

This is why I seize upon that human empathy and impose it upon the masses…

…because the masses are not just failing to recognize it…there are hoards of fanatics attempting to deny you, me, the world, any ability to recognize and exorcise that empathy.

In personal response…what I have had to say over the last two decades, as a homosexual pedophile…is a little bit about anything, that has ever made me human.


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When and How I Use the Term MAP…


ISDLogo
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Date: September 25, 2020

“Minor Attracted Person” represents all recognized groups, who are attracted to young human beings, yet cannot legally be with those young human beings for sexual relations.

This includes nepiophiles, pedophiles, hebephiles and ephebophiles…

“Sugar Coating” has absolutely nothing to do with the creation or usage of the term.

Many individual MAPs actually prefer to identify as nepiophile, pedophile, hebephile or ephebophile [and terms existing within those communities], when talking about their personal situation.

It is not uncommon for me to acknowledge myself as a pedophile or child lover, and I also quite like terms like Kind, Kindfolk and Kinderfolk.

I would hope it would eventually become clear to all, that when I use the term Pedophile [without quotes, which would acknowledge it as a euphemism], I’m talking about literal pedophile issues…and that the same holds true for hebephile and ephebophile issues.

Distinct categories of MAP, literally do have their own distinct social and personal issues…even if there is a lot of overlap.

They deserve to be recognized and discussed, each on their own.

When I use the term MAP, it is to recognize these groups combined, and the social issues which impact upon all of us.

MAP is the shared experience, among a wide and diverse group of people.

Nepiophile, Pedophile, Hebephile and Ephebophile are the personal orientation and experience of individuals.


Now, there are some hairs that can be split here…

Some people believe hebephilia should not even be recognized as a category.

Not all ephebophiles are equally targeted by the law, as older teenagers [18 and 19 years] are typically considered adults under the law and able to consent, while consent laws are also diverse around the globe and some places it might be legal to have sexual relations with a 15 year old.

You can also be any combination of these categories, or “all of the above”…or only one.

And, of course, people don’t always develop through the human tanner stages in absolute uniformity.

These are, however, recognized as categories of orientation…they have generally set patterns…They are recognized in the professional fields…and they are clearly not equally all the same…

It has also been my personal experience as a pedophile, that ephebophilia [for example] is very different from my personal orientation…every bit as much as teliophilia is different from my orientation.

Therefore, I acknowledge each one of them.


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Where it comes to my activism, I have three positions (Narrated)…


ISDLogo
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Date: September 14, 2020


Where it comes to my activism, I have three positions…

1) All individuals and groups have an unquestionable right to a public voice and presence.

2) All individuals and groups have an unquestionable right to accurate representation of themselves.

3) All individuals and groups have an unquestionable right to humane and dignified social treatment.

None of these are extreme stances. All of these stances are the bedrock, of any culture which claims to function on representative government and values.

They are the bedrock of any healthy, functioning culture.


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The Problem With Distortions…

ISDLogo
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Date: September 13, 2020

The problem with distortions about MAPs, molestation, rape, child pornography, etc…is that they have only ever led to injury, and the chronic ineptness in social structures claimed to combat human violence.

It never does anything good, to drown these issues in hyperbole…

It objectively does no good, to lie about the vast range of people, who are in some way impacted by these issues.

The only thing you are doing, is aggravating [possibly threatening] people, who already have a life full of complications and hurdles to overcome…

…A lot of these people have suffered immeasurably, over their own lifetime…

…and they don’t need others piling on top of them, making things worse.

This is among the many reasons it drives me up the wall, to see young MAPs embracing the negative, cultural talking points…and aggressively repeating them as if they were fact…

…even attacking other MAPs who’ve been around, who’ve seen behind the curtains…

…who rightly reject those cultural talking points.

All people should be free to outwardly talk about their own experiences and issues…

…Nobody should ever generalize their own thoughts and experiences, as being those of everybody else.


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It’s All Been Part of the Journey…


ISDLogo
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Date: September 07, 2020

It’s hard to put into adequate words, what it’s meant to me as a homosexual pedophile…to have had the freedom to express myself outwardly into the world, explicitly regarding this existence…and my experiences within it.

It’s helped me to make sense of life…

…It’s helped me tremendously, to work through my own issues…and form my own, good ethics…

It’s helped me to grow…evolve…understand.

…It’s helped me put a face onto this existence…as well as various concepts…

It has helped me see the reality, concealed by the stigma.

…It’s helped me understand how cruel this world is…and…how undying hope continues to fight back.

…I’ve met some of the greatest people, along this journey.

I would not trade this existence, nor this journey, for anything.

Some may say to me…that I should feel shame over myself…over all that I have done here…

…But, seriously…Why should I?…

Presumably…they [and you] have and exercise the ability, to talk about and discuss the issues of your own life…

…I have merely been doing the exact same thing, as anybody else does.

We are not all the same…

…It’s when you encounter people like me…that you come to realize what equal rights actually mean…

There is a reason I started the Equality Foundation…and chose that name…

…My writings and media, are an embodiment of my own equal rights.


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Michael Brooks Died…


ISDLogo
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Date: July 20, 2020

He got his start on the Majority Report with Sam Seeder…which, in my opinion, is a model for how not to produce a media show, if you don’t want to come off like a bunch of aggressive, arm twisting, well poisoning, ideologues, who cant see past their own egos…

I left Majority Report behind years ago, because I, frankly, could not stand it anymore…

I’ve encountered Michael trash talking atheists and pedophiles at least enough times, to where I consider the guy a lousy, mouthy a-hole, to be entirely honest…

Never considered fully banishing him from my blogging activities…provided he had an interesting enough guest, or topic of discussion…

…but I seriously did not like this guy, on a gut level.

He took cheap shots at underdogs, like the “best” of them.

…I felt like he came from that wing of modern “progressive” media, which exhibits all the things wrong with “progressive” media.

Hell…screw “progressive” media…

We need respectful, open minded, communicative media…what “progressive” media often fails to be.

I’m sorry the guy died…

…but he was genuinely an arrogant jerk, from what I experienced of him.

…I don’t believe in mystical karma…but the word keeps scampering through my mind, right now…the principle of what’s been earned.

…So many people who think there are “trash” human beings in this world, who it’s “right” to disparage, are going to see in a Michael Brooks, only what they want to see.

Those who personally felt the sting of his popular bully pulpit, cant see it the same.

I just really had to type this out, right now.

I don’t want to sucker punch anyone in their time of grief…

…It’s just, being on the low rungs of society, you get sick of these sorts of people…

…Karma…

You just get so sick of the supposedly “good” people in media, being that way.


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If You’re Part of the Human Race, You’re Part of My Race (Narrated)…


ISDLogo
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Date: July 16, 2020

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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01) [ FULL SESSION ] Professor Griff / #CannonsClass


“In this session of #CannonsClass, author of book “A Warrior’s Tapestry” – Professor Griff (also known as the “Minister of Information”) talks about Minister Farrakhan, Public Enemy, Hip Hop, our birth right and more.”

Melanin…The power of Melinated People?…

You can watch the entire episode to get full context [if there is any fuller context required]…The top link is to the video…the embedded video is set to start just before the few minutes I’m responding to…

I’m not sure I’ve encountered this idea of people with more melanin in their skin being more human than white people…and I really have a hard time believing there is any hard science to back it up…

I’m open to substantial evidence…but this really sounds like a lot of whooy…fantastical, mystical speaking…

I’ve no doubt people of African descent have largely been treated viciously by other humans…and in the history books, as well…I have no doubt, they have had refined cultures to be proud of…I have no doubt, they are valuable…

…I also understand, this is media meant for a certain audience…and there is a whole lot of messed up human history, underneath what is being expressed.

I don’t want to be so trite as to say, “I don’t see race”…

…but there are reasons why you never see or hear me demeaning any race…and why I never ask anyone about their race…

…I simply do not believe that biological racial differences are at all important…and I think they are among the most sad, pathetic of excuses to separate people.

I am mixed race, myself…Though, admittedly…I have had the advantage of being a mixture of Native American, German and British [three heritage that aren’t particularly stigmatized in the modern world]…If we were standing next to each other and you didn’t have familiarity with Native American physical traits, you’d probably recognize me as being white…and think nothing more of it…

…But I don’t really think of myself as part of any specific race…I’m not emotionally or psychologically tied to the white race…nor do I take it as a personal offense, when people disparage the white race…not even if I do think the act was wrong…

…If I get offended by anything…it’s that someone has been done wrong…in spoken word or action.

To me…watching that clip…what I would say to anyone who believes these things about inborn racial superiority…or who harbors anger over past wrongs…

…is that the only thing that matters…is that any hate or animosity ends with us…and there is no justification for conflict between us…You can be the brother, sister, mother, father, son or daughter who I choose, and who chooses me…and it does not matter what you look like…

…It matters that we accept and enrich each other…

I have no use for beliefs of superiority…my own [which is a laugh], or anyone else’s [which is also a laugh]…

What says everything…is whether or not we will be there for each other, looking out for each other…

…Skin color is nothing.

If you are part of the human race…then you are part of my race…We are all full blooded animals…none closer than any other to the animal kingdom…We are sophisticated apes…anything beyond this, is just branches in the evolutionary tree.


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I Support This Type of Expression…


In_Self_Defense
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Date: June 15, 2020

I support the principle, that people should be allowed and encouraged to make public expressions, such as these…

…and here is why…

While I cannot vouch for the sincerity of every accounting like this, it is safe to say they do exist…and that they are no small part of what gets classified “child sexual abuse”.

It’s been years since I’ve delved deep into the studies…but it’s been known for years, that cases with “participating victims” [aka: they pursued, protected and wanted it], who were actually pleased to be involved, accounted for 30% or more of reported cases.

This caused a massive uproar when “The Rind Report” came out, because when paired with the percentage of “CSA survivors” who had indifference to the experience, it greatly dwarfs the remaining fraction, who were traumatized by their experience.

We’re talking about roughly two thirds who were either happy or passively content, as opposed to roughly a third who were really hurt by their experience.

Now…why is this?…

Personal opinion…”the powers that be” are more focused on inflicting control, exploitation and power over “perverted” people…than they are focused on rescuing kids in peril, who actually need to be rescued.

A large part of this control, exists in suppressing and dismissing the accounts of those who either found whatever they experienced to be great, or at worst, still not troubling at all.

This creates a distorted public view, on a vast amount of what gets labeled “child sexual abuse”…and it misleads the public into believing that kidnapping, rape and murder are the dominant actions, among those charged and/or convicted of CSA.

In fact, they are not.

It always bothers me to see the positive or indifferent voices censored, or hounded into the shadows…

…because their absence distorts the public dialogue, which further distorts public perception.


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Condemning “Pedophilia”: Isn’t The Evidence Overwhelming, and What Happens When It is Not?…


ISDLogo
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May 20, 2020

If you’d have told me twenty years ago that research on “pedophilia” was intentionally skewed heavily to the negative…that a lot of concealment was happening…and that some forms of pedophilic sexual expression could be morally defended…I’d have thought you were insane…

I fully believed and accepted that “the facts were in, and established”…that averages in the broad scheme of things soundly condemned pedophilic sexual activity…and that only rare instances left people unscathed for life.

It wasn’t until I was forced to watch uproars unfolding regarding “The Rind Report”, that I had to confront and discover just how deep and corrupt the distortion gets…and it was a complete head trip for me, as a pedophile…discovering that they actually practiced, and felt a need to practice, concealment and censorship within the research, itself…

…Was sex between children and adults [or teens] not bad enough, on it’s own?…Did they need to actively darken the picture in people’s minds, to make it sufficiently intolerable?…and why?

As a pedophile…you spend all your life believing these things about yourself…eventually discovering, that you’ve spent your life being lied to…and not in small, inconsequential ways…but in ways which debase your entire perception of the world around you…of the people around you…

…And it’s all right there, unfolding in front of you…You cannot deny it…It is happening…

…How can I ever have any faith, in any system or individual who does this?

This behavior is completely without redemption.

This level and degree of social and political manipulation, should never be acceptable to anyone.

Censoring Sex Research: The Debate over Male Intergenerational Relations

I know that spending money is a lot to ask…especially $40 or more…

…but, please…if you are going to tread off into the “pedophile research” conflict…at least know and understand the environment and base issues we are dealing with, before you go picking up any stance and defending it.

That the establishment has been using the exact same practices they used against gays and lesbians, in order to unjustly smear, tarnish and imprison them, to continue doing the same to MAPs…is an absolute fact.

We are not being treated this way because we are bad, or wrong…

…We are being treated this way, because they do not consider us to be human beings…and given history, they “know” they can get away with this…

…It’s time to make a radical social change…and make them understand clearly…

…They can no longer get away with this.


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What Does It Do To a Person?…


ISDLogo
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Date: May 16, 2020

What does it do to a person who so clearly had sexual frustration issues as a child and youth…to eventually come to the discovery that avenues for addressing their sex drive have always existed for them, biologically inborn within our species…but those avenues were blocked by social and legal prohibition?


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