Category Archives: In Self Defense: The Life & Times of an Atheist BoyLover

The personal “book” of my life…

Who Owns Your Identity?: Colloquialism and Identity…


Date: February 19, 2021

01) NO! Critical Race Theory Does NOT Continue the Civil Rights Movement

“The New Discourses Podcast with James Lindsay, Episode 22

Critical Race Theorists like to claim that they have inherited and continue the noble legacy and justice work of the Civil Rights Movement (, but this is an abject lie. In this episode of James Lindsay OnlySubs, my subscribers-only podcast, I take about half an hour to make the case definitively that, while they are content to portray this illusion, it is a grotesque distortion of reality, using their own words. By exploring the book Critical Race Theory: An Introduction, by Richard Delgado and Jean Stefancic (Delgado is something of a founder of Critical Race Theory) and the paper “Mapping the Margins” (​) by Kimberlé Crenshaw, who is regarded as one of the true founders of CRT and the founder of intersectionality, the case against the Woke claim on the Civil Rights Movement is easily and definitively made. Join me to hear the details and the argument! -James”

Colloquialism and Identity…

What is being discussed here, for the most part…is the ability for minorities to control their own identities, and how broader society comprehends them…hence, combating their own dehumanization and social impoverishment.

This is directly tied in with the “I am a man!” statement, from the black civil rights movement…It is an expression of the exact same cultural fight, wherein the majority consider it their ever present right to demonize, ostracize and mock some minorities.

James does not appear to understand this.

Where the people who fight on behalf of this typically fail, is in consistently applying it equally across the board to all groups of people…They only see the social consequences on the minorities they are part of, or they rationally know…but they don’t extend that empathy on to other minorities, that are also being viciously stereotyped and demonized.

This is probably the single most maddening thing about them…because while they are putting themselves forward [and many are looking upon them] as “champions of minority rights”…they’re simultaneously de-legitimizing other minorities in the eyes of the masses, when they ignore the injustices done to those minorities…or worse still, engage in furthering those injustices and demonizations.

If you think you can righteously howl and pound your fist over the plight of Blacks, Jews, Gays, Lesbians and Transgenders [etc.]…and you can turn right around to make snide, vicious remarks about Nepiophiles, Pedophiles, Hebephiles and Ephebophiles…then you don’t belong in any civil rights movement…The whole concept of civil rights, has completely flown over your head.

No, James…

…They are correct, in that they understand the many ways that losing control of your own social identity, injures and impoverishes minorities…

…and it does do that…Many of us can personally vouch for this fact.

The problem today…is that there are a lot of self centered, ignorant douche bags, who claim the principle of self identity ownership is only rightly applied to specific minorities they endorse.

…which literally hijacks and corrupts the base concept and principle.

There is a lot to be angry over, where it comes to how that movement has conducted itself over the last few decades…A lot of the people who’ve sprung out of it, behave like mentally detached schizophrenics…

…But identifying the principle of social identity ownership [the control of ones own social identity], is not one of those things to be angry over…

…It’s honestly quite helpful and insightful.

This is one thing they did which was indisputably right.

It’s the fact that so many claim “a right” to be gatekeepers over this, where things went horribly off the rails.

The talking over and stonewalling of others, is atrocious.


Maps, LGBT, and strategic erasure…


Date: January 20, 2021

01) LINK

“Around 2018 I already started saying “maps aren’t LGBT, unless they’re not cis/not straight”. But even with a modifier, this didn’t sound right. Why? Because almost every map I knew was either queer, or trans, or both.”

I’ve come to see LGBT as being a social and political branding.

As George Carlin would say…”It’s a big club, and you’re not in it.”…

…Though, I would personally tailor it…”and you’re not invited.”

As a practical matter, many of us [myself included] would belong in it, if the LGBT were honestly concerned with ALL homosexuals, and ALL sexually queer.

…They are not…

As it happens, the LGBT [and IGLA] have become an assimilation and domination movement.


The Denial of Empathy (Narrated)…


Date: December 03, 2020

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.


What on earth is a homosexual pedophile going to have to say about their life, their status and the world around them, that would honestly fill up two decades of their life?…Why express it?…Why say anything at all?…

When I started out, I accepted the social claims and outcomes as they were…I did not question…I had no anger over them, in the bliss of my ignorance…But I had the inner sense that I could help to build some good in this world, despite whatever position I had in it.

I actually thought this world might come to appreciate what selfless “pedophiles” were willing to do, in coming forward and participating in studies with accredited institutions…or in courageously holding a long term public dialogue with the public…Frankly, in opening up the real world of real people who happen to be sexually oriented this way…so that people could begin to see and recognize, the truths versus the fallacies…and come to understand that there is literally no justification in fearing a “pedophile”, solely on the basis of them being a “pedophile”.

I’ve wanted to establish a public openness between “pedophiles” and everybody else…which is why I’ve been adamant about spending so much time, out on the major platforms of the common people.

Fanatics, and all who hold fanatical views against “pedophiles”, aggressively ignore and attack everything they are not expecting or wanting to hear, see or know.

One would think that supporting an organization like B4U-ACT since it’s very beginning, would establish that there are “pedophiles” willing and concerned with cleaning up their own backyard…that we are the literal embodiment, of a solution from within the “pedophile” demographic itself.

…But fanatics, and those with fanaticism in their minds, incredulously attack an organization which exists to literally assist “pedophiles” in maintaining personal psychological stability and social accountability…and they attack all who support such organizations.

They attack those who are best equipped to intervene, should a “pedophile” have a mental breakdown under the social pressure they are forced to live in…the absolute most insane thing they could ever do, if there were any truth to their claims of wanting to “protect children”.

I am fed up with the social and political blood lust, and its saturation absolutely everywhere.

…I am sick of being told I am sub-human and deserve all forms of atrocity inflicted upon me, by people who refuse to even look at me, and judge me for who and what I truthfully am…I am sick of this message being saturated everywhere…consciously and subconsciously…in the organizations you grow up in…in public media…this blood lust is even brazenly celebrated in “entertainment” for the masses.

There is this point that some hated minorities, races, etc, have managed to attain some level of social acceptance, where the masses are allowed to look upon what has happened to these viciously abused groups…see the impact…see the look in their eyes…and internalize that pain, in a type of mental and emotional solidarity…where they finally understand how awful, how unjust a fate has been inflicted upon people who were merely born into a much larger situation, entirely out of their own control.

That point of empathy…is what “pedophiles” are being ultimately denied…Even just striving for that point of empathy…that search for any sign of human decency towards “pedophiles”…is viciously attacked and denied to any who would want it.

After living this many years under these circumstances…the only circumstances I have ever honestly known…I have no rational reason, as to why I have not arrived at the conclusion that this world is simply evil, filled with evil people who relentlessly attack the innocent…because their sense of righteous authority claims they can.

Gays and Lesbians to some extent, have overcome this vicious denial…as have various racial minorities…Large portions of the population understand at the very least, that the hate spewed at these groups is not based in objective fact…but is there to injure the members of those minorities, and keep them in a place where they can be dominated and abused.

…Yet this bare minimum of humane honesty continues to be denied to “pedophiles”…what amounts to the absolute least in standards striven for, by anyone attempting to be honest, just and humane…anyone attempting to strive for integrity, and the better potentials within the human animal.

This is why I seize upon that human empathy and impose it upon the masses…

…because the masses are not just failing to recognize it…there are hoards of fanatics attempting to deny you, me, the world, any ability to recognize and exorcise that empathy.

In personal response…what I have had to say over the last two decades, as a homosexual pedophile…is a little bit about anything, that has ever made me human.


When and How I Use the Term MAP…


Date: September 25, 2020

“Minor Attracted Person” represents all recognized groups, who are attracted to young human beings, yet cannot legally be with those young human beings for sexual relations.

This includes nepiophiles, pedophiles, hebephiles and ephebophiles…

“Sugar Coating” has absolutely nothing to do with the creation or usage of the term.

Many individual MAPs actually prefer to identify as nepiophile, pedophile, hebephile or ephebophile [and terms existing within those communities], when talking about their personal situation.

It is not uncommon for me to acknowledge myself as a pedophile or child lover, and I also quite like terms like Kind, Kindfolk and Kinderfolk.

I would hope it would eventually become clear to all, that when I use the term Pedophile [without quotes, which would acknowledge it as a euphemism], I’m talking about literal pedophile issues…and that the same holds true for hebephile and ephebophile issues.

Distinct categories of MAP, literally do have their own distinct social and personal issues…even if there is a lot of overlap.

They deserve to be recognized and discussed, each on their own.

When I use the term MAP, it is to recognize these groups combined, and the social issues which impact upon all of us.

MAP is the shared experience, among a wide and diverse group of people.

Nepiophile, Pedophile, Hebephile and Ephebophile are the personal orientation and experience of individuals.

Now, there are some hairs that can be split here…

Some people believe hebephilia should not even be recognized as a category.

Not all ephebophiles are equally targeted by the law, as older teenagers [18 and 19 years] are typically considered adults under the law and able to consent, while consent laws are also diverse around the globe and some places it might be legal to have sexual relations with a 15 year old.

You can also be any combination of these categories, or “all of the above”…or only one.

And, of course, people don’t always develop through the human tanner stages in absolute uniformity.

These are, however, recognized as categories of orientation…they have generally set patterns…They are recognized in the professional fields…and they are clearly not equally all the same…

It has also been my personal experience as a pedophile, that ephebophilia [for example] is very different from my personal orientation…every bit as much as teliophilia is different from my orientation.

Therefore, I acknowledge each one of them.


Where it comes to my activism, I have three positions (Narrated)…


Date: September 14, 2020

Where it comes to my activism, I have three positions…

1) All individuals and groups have an unquestionable right to a public voice and presence.

2) All individuals and groups have an unquestionable right to accurate representation of themselves.

3) All individuals and groups have an unquestionable right to humane and dignified social treatment.

None of these are extreme stances. All of these stances are the bedrock, of any culture which claims to function on representative government and values.

They are the bedrock of any healthy, functioning culture.


The Problem With Distortions…


Date: September 13, 2020

The problem with distortions about MAPs, molestation, rape, child pornography, etc…is that they have only ever led to injury, and the chronic ineptness in social structures claimed to combat human violence.

It never does anything good, to drown these issues in hyperbole…

It objectively does no good, to lie about the vast range of people, who are in some way impacted by these issues.

The only thing you are doing, is aggravating [possibly threatening] people, who already have a life full of complications and hurdles to overcome…

…A lot of these people have suffered immeasurably, over their own lifetime…

…and they don’t need others piling on top of them, making things worse.

This is among the many reasons it drives me up the wall, to see young MAPs embracing the negative, cultural talking points…and aggressively repeating them as if they were fact…

…even attacking other MAPs who’ve been around, who’ve seen behind the curtains…

…who rightly reject those cultural talking points.

All people should be free to outwardly talk about their own experiences and issues…

…Nobody should ever generalize their own thoughts and experiences, as being those of everybody else.


It’s All Been Part of the Journey…


Date: September 07, 2020

It’s hard to put into adequate words, what it’s meant to me as a homosexual pedophile…to have had the freedom to express myself outwardly into the world, explicitly regarding this existence…and my experiences within it.

It’s helped me to make sense of life…

…It’s helped me tremendously, to work through my own issues…and form my own, good ethics…

It’s helped me to grow…evolve…understand.

…It’s helped me put a face onto this existence…as well as various concepts…

It has helped me see the reality, concealed by the stigma.

…It’s helped me understand how cruel this world is…and…how undying hope continues to fight back.

…I’ve met some of the greatest people, along this journey.

I would not trade this existence, nor this journey, for anything.

Some may say to me…that I should feel shame over myself…over all that I have done here…

…But, seriously…Why should I?…

Presumably…they [and you] have and exercise the ability, to talk about and discuss the issues of your own life…

…I have merely been doing the exact same thing, as anybody else does.

We are not all the same…

…It’s when you encounter people like me…that you come to realize what equal rights actually mean…

There is a reason I started the Equality Foundation…and chose that name…

…My writings and media, are an embodiment of my own equal rights.


Michael Brooks Died…


Date: July 20, 2020

He got his start on the Majority Report with Sam Seeder…which, in my opinion, is a model for how not to produce a media show, if you don’t want to come off like a bunch of aggressive, arm twisting, well poisoning, ideologues, who cant see past their own egos…

I left Majority Report behind years ago, because I, frankly, could not stand it anymore…

I’ve encountered Michael trash talking atheists and pedophiles at least enough times, to where I consider the guy a lousy, mouthy a-hole, to be entirely honest…

Never considered fully banishing him from my blogging activities…provided he had an interesting enough guest, or topic of discussion…

…but I seriously did not like this guy, on a gut level.

He took cheap shots at underdogs, like the “best” of them.

…I felt like he came from that wing of modern “progressive” media, which exhibits all the things wrong with “progressive” media.

Hell…screw “progressive” media…

We need respectful, open minded, communicative media…what “progressive” media often fails to be.

I’m sorry the guy died…

…but he was genuinely an arrogant jerk, from what I experienced of him.

…I don’t believe in mystical karma…but the word keeps scampering through my mind, right now…the principle of what’s been earned.

…So many people who think there are “trash” human beings in this world, who it’s “right” to disparage, are going to see in a Michael Brooks, only what they want to see.

Those who personally felt the sting of his popular bully pulpit, cant see it the same.

I just really had to type this out, right now.

I don’t want to sucker punch anyone in their time of grief…

…It’s just, being on the low rungs of society, you get sick of these sorts of people…


You just get so sick of the supposedly “good” people in media, being that way.