Category Archives: In Self Defense: The Life & Times of an Atheist BoyLover

The personal “book” of my life…

Galileo’s Middle Finger [Alice Dreger]: There’s a Difference Between Science and Activism…


November 02, 2021

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“From the jacket: An impassioned defense of intellectual freedom and a clarion call to intellectual responsibility, Galileo’s Middle Finger presents one American’s eye-opening story of life in the trenches of scientific controversy. For two decades, historian Alice Dreger has led a life of extraordinary engagement, combining activist service to victims of unethical medical research with defense of scientists whose work has outraged identity politics activists. With spirit and wit, Dreger offers in Galileo’s Middle Finger an unforgettable vision of the importance of rigorous truth-seeking in today’s America, where both the free press and free scholarly inquiry struggle under dire economic and political threats.

Galileo’s Middle Finger describes Dreger’s long and harrowing journeys between the two camps for which she felt equal empathy: social justice activists determined to win, and researchers determined to put hard truths before comfort. Ultimately what emerges is a lesson about the intertwining of justice and truth—and a lesson of the importance of responsible scholars and journalists in our fragile democracy.

“…an engrossing volume that is sure to undo any lingering notions that academic debate is the province of empiricists who pledge allegiance to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” — Chicago Tribune

“…Galileo’s Middle Finger is a disturbing but deeply informative exploration of what happens when liberal scientists and humanitarian activists clash over matters of human identity. Alice Dreger’s long history of evidence-based activism makes her the perfect guide to this territory….Dreger also possesses a keen sense of irony and a sharp wit; these regularly get her into trouble but, in recompense, make her a pleasure to read.” — Human Nature”

I purchased this book probably a year or so back, and I’m just now [started about a week ago] reading through it…and I must say, I am greatly appreciating what I’ve recognized as a serious societal problem [bullies who’ve decided their “activism” includes stalking, tormenting and injuring other people] having a light shown on it…exposing it for what it is.

I’m just starting the fifth chapter…and I’ve already encountered a number of behaviors described, which I’ve witnessed [or even personally experienced] from unhinged lunatics.

A couple of Alice’s comments, you could have literally lifted out of my own, personal writing history…at least the substance of the observations.

Naturally…this is mostly turning out to be an uplifting read [if infuriating, to mentally envision the abuses Alice and various researchers were put through], in that I love to see push back against this type of bullying bullshit.

Those sorts of assholes who decide they’re going to dictate “reality” to everybody else, and destroy anyone who even remotely “gets in the way” of their grandiose delusions…the people who are all about themselves, and what they want, to the point where they don’t give a shit that they’re living on a planet with other people, who also need their own identities un-defiled by society…Those assholes piss me right the fuck off. They’re the exact sort, who will throw anyone to the wolves who does not serve their own, personal agenda…and they’ll often do it in the most callous, cruel and hypocritical of ways.

There’s a lot of reasons why science and activism need their distance from each other…One of them is the simple fact, that aggressive zealots will distort public perception of academic research…Making them some of the biggest liars out there.

Yes…life is very complicated…Not everything discovered is going to paint “you” in the most rosy manner possible…Zealots need to grow the fuck up, and accept that you don’t get every single thing you want in life.

Galileo’s Middle Finger covers [among others] the controversy over the Rind, Tromovitch and Bauserman meta analysis from 1998…in a refreshingly honest way, for a book marketed to the mainstream public.

This study, and more so the unhinged insanity which followed, has had a profound impact on me…which started me on my own road to social activism, as a MAP [Minor Attracted Person]. What happened to this sound, peer reviewed [and twice since repeated by different researchers] analysis, and all who were directly involved with it, is down right grotesque…indefensibly wrong…and of the worst integral standing imaginable.

There are still people out there, who claim that it was some sort of “pedophile pushed propaganda”…when in reality, the people behind pushing for this to take place, were professionals interested in assessing the needs of “child sexual abuse victims”, in a therapeutic setting. They had absolutely zero interest in legalizing or endorsing sex with anyone under the age of eighteen…On the contrary…the fact that such is illegal and severely stigmatized, in many ways is their career “bread and butter”.

While I have very conflicted feelings about people who make their living, specializing in “child sex abuse”, when so many of them cannot ever recognize or accept the nuances of reality…I still accept that many [most?] of them are acting out of a generally decent, caring place…they’re just prone to having large social blind spots, and having their perception severely skewed, from having been habitually exposed to some of the most extreme cases [many of really horrible abuse]…Often, these sorts of people start believing that nuance just doesn’t matter…”The worst they’ve ever seen, trumps all else!”…and “Screw you! If your experience doesn’t fit the victim perpetrator model”…”You’re getting dragged along with the narrative, regardless”.

This whole issue in research…even just flatly, un-apologetically studying “pedophiles”, has been hijacked for decades…held hostage to the tantrums of bullies, who do everything they can to inhibit it’s taking place…And that research [though some of it is finally happening] has been stalled for years, precisely because of the actions of these malefactors.

There is one thing in this section I cannot let pass, however.

After all her careful accounting, and even acknowledging how it’s important to minorities that they not be reduced down to any singular trait [sex and sexual activity, in this case]…Alice decides to offer a tasteless, crude ad hominem towards NAMBLA…as seemingly her main comment and observation on NAMBLA is…

“Well, that little “we’re not advocating pedophilia” disclaimer sure didn’t work. Activist pedophiles saw in the Rind paper justification for us all to just get out of the way already and let them at little kids. Blatantly ignoring the point made at the end of the Rind paper, the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMbLA) called the Rind paper “The Good News About Man/Boy Love.” Thus the Rind paper became the gospel according to NAMbLA, a group whose mere logo can thoroughly creep you out. (The M for Man leans to the right, pushing against the little b for boy, as though the M is mounting the b. Seriously, that’s what it looks like.)”

Did Alice ever even discuss any of this, with anyone from NAMBLA?…I guarantee you, she completely made up the “M mounting b” nonsense…and this was a monumentally disgusting thing to do, in what has otherwise been a rather good read thus far…It’s contempt and prejudice bleeding through…It’s brazenly degrading and dehumanizing.

You’d think with all her previous words of empathy for trans people and sexual minorities, and acknowledging how damaging this type of stereotyping is to minorities…she’d understand the gross hypocrisy in crossing this line…even with “pedophiles”…If your moral compos is consistent, then you just don’t go there…ever.

This might very well come off as shocking news to Alice…but having been there among many fellow BoyLovers at the time [on BoyChat, no less]…I can attest that there was a pronounced voice among some BoyLovers…a voice of annoyance towards NAMBLA for having published this.

Many of us, myself included, believe that we need to maintain a healthy distance from the actual analysis of data, because of our own potential conflicts of interest…and that NAMBLA article was violating that principle.

I’m confident enough to say, that the author of that article had his heart in the right place…but it was a starkly reckless thing to do…and I am sure they’ve carried the burden with them ever since, knowing that their article was key in launching a process which would ultimately hold vital research back for at least a decade.

It’s been infuriating, watching how zealot, bad faith actors have exploited that NAMBLA article.

They’ll take everything you say…warp and twist it…and repackage it…presenting it as something unrecognizable [often even contrary] to the individual who originally expressed it.

Truth be told…the only thing the author [forgive me, I don’t remember who] of the NAMBLA article was really guilty of…was being happy to see any glimmer of honesty, showing up in research relevant to us…after a lifetime of being starved of such research analysis…The fact that anyone actually attempted to be honest, fair and humane about these issues, is like a miracle to people like us…We expect these types of studies to be spitefully stereotyping, and stripping the humanity from all who don’t fit the dominant social narrative…be those “victims” or MAPs. Inconvenient data and individuals, have a history of being discarded and diverted in dishonest ways, in order to please the people who will throw tantrums otherwise.

…And those who don’t “step in line”?…we see what happens, in cases like that of “The Rind Report”.

But, again…it was not as if there was no push back towards that NAMBLA article…Various BoyLovers did take issue with this move…We’re not a single voiced monolith…Many of us realized the serious potential pitfalls, in aggressively celebrating the findings of this research.

We all needed to stand back, and give it its space.

The Fight for Identity:

Another thing I strongly appreciate, is the acknowledgement of a minorities fight to control it’s own identity [a principle I’ve written about several times in the past]…Which is a fight MAPs have been rising to for decades now. While I think we honestly are starting to break through, it’s insane that we still have to deal with all the garbage and abuse that gets heaped upon us…It’s insane, the stereotypes we are judged by…or that people actually think “you’re the next potential John Wayne Gacy”.

How many decades does one have to live a legal, ethical, responsible, honest and even sexually celibate life, forgoing so many of your own comforts and desires…before people get it through their thick skulls, that you are not a monster?…that you’re not violent?…that you don’t lack self control, or empathy for others?…that you are a decent human being?

MAPs fight the exact same fight [admittedly with a few, different variables], that trans people and other sexual minorities fight…We fight for our own identity, and to be seen, respected and valued for who we honestly are.


“Do Not Interact If You’re…”…


Date: October 20, 2021

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Possibly the most pathetic, low level internet trend I have ever witnessed, is this preemptive “do not interact, if you’re…” nonsense.

It’s an outright insane level of life in a bubble, prejudice and aggression.

If they are this meek and fragile [or hostile in their “victimhood”/intolerance], perhaps the open internet is not the right place for them.

There is simply no reason to treat people who’ve done nothing against you, like that.

I always thought the whole idea of being online, was to communicate, learn, help and interact with others…possibly even evolve as an individual.

Some people are dead set against their personal evolution and growth…a disturbing level of people, in fact.

And, please [any onlooker]…no lectures on mental illness, or emotional fragility…Those arguments need to be checked at the door.

Anyone who wants a “walled community” can go make one, for free, at countless places on the internet.

If someone self elects to be on an open platform, they have to realize they are going to eventually cross paths with people who are very different from themselves…and the experience of swapping or witnessing a few keyboard tappings is not going to kill them.

…Hell…It’s generally good for people, to be challenged by those of a different persuasion.

It’s infantile, to reject and run away from this.


[Admission to Prison Guard Facilitated Murder and Violent Assault] “What child killers deserve – He got it”…


Date: September 25, 2021

01) LINK

“The story of a man that violated and killed and infant and then had the same done to him in prison.”

I am in no way defending what Stacy did…As a matter of balance, justice and natural law, I believe that if you intentionally deny another living person their right to live, you forfeit your own right to live.

This does not mean that I support the death penalty, nor that I support “justified murder”…I support neither of those, and straight up condemn the latter.

What is deserved, and what we should never degrade ourselves into inflicting, may very well be the same thing. There are reasons not to allow ourselves to devolve into such monstrous behavior.

…And people are often executed or murdered, under false presumptions.

Why I Share This:

It’s been spoken of for decades among older MAPs [especially those who’ve been incarcerated at some point in their life], how prison guards would facilitate these types of murder and inhumane brutality against MAPs.

I share this, because it is a direct testimony of a prison assassination, explicitly started and facilitated by a prison guard, targeting someone who may or may not have been a MAP.

That female prison guard should be in prison, herself. These people are legally charged with the protection and care, of all people in their custody…There is never any excuse for this type of behavior…They are not there, to met out additional death sentences, nor torture sentences…and make no mistake about this…what she engaged in here, is a very serious crime…She should not be walking free.

We don’t know that the victim was a MAP…However, MAPs are known to sometimes fall victim to this sort of thing, when they find themselves in prison. This is a human rights emergency…particularly in light of the fact that most MAPs don’t actually murder, or accidentally kill children, but are typically quite kind and gentle towards children.


I thought about starting off with this, but wanted to get down everything above before it left my mind…What follows is more of an old and growing frustration I have, with certain types of voices “in the MAP community”.

There are, indeed, fun and safe activities that can be engaged in by child and MAP…This does not mean, that all craved acts are “a fun trip to the carnival for all involved”.

Here we have a case…of a guy who thought he could safely slide his penis into the mouth [and down the throat?] of an infant…ejaculating down said infants throat…causing them to strangle to death [drown?] on the penis and sperm.

I would hope that MAPs have enough common sense, to realize just how dangerous an act like that is to an infant…or even a small child…

…And yet, we’ve had to endure the indignity…of “Amos Yee style wisdom” [though not limited solely to Amos]…of things on the level of, “if the dick fits, it’s all okay”…or, “if the anus is wrecked, it’s the child’s fault for not crying”…

This type of thing…is fucked in the head level insane…and it only serves to hold us back, and keep us down…particularly when there are MAPs out there, who actually want this type of voice serving as our public representation…acting as though “this speaks on our behalf”…

…As far as “our behalf” goes…the fuck it does!…Fuck No!

That horseshit comes out of broken minds, who do not understand the world…and even more alarming, do not understand children…or how not to be a danger to children.

This is why I do not endorse just anyone who happens along, claiming to be a MAP or MAP ally.

Sexual behavior is nuanced, in accordance to any number of variables…and MAPs, of all people, would do best to understand and accept this fact.

Most MAPs I’ve encountered, I think have a pretty good head on their shoulders…and that they are fundamentally good at heart…

It should never be controversial for me to say in this community, that we must reject this notion that “anything goes”.

No…There are some things which are objectively wrong, if we retain any notion of living in a civilized social structure.

You cannot be injuring or killing children with your dick, if you have any expectation of being allowed to freely exist in this world.

What happened to Stacy in his final days should not have happened, and there needs to be an existing world in which justice for these heinous crimes is pursued and realized…But, Stacy still belonged in prison for what he has done.

If you ever literally followed certain bits of “Amos Yee Wisdom”…You’d deserve to be in prison, too.

This should never be forgotten.


“That” Discussion…


Date: August 28, 2021

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“Often. I am eager for that conversation. And afraid of it.” Cyril Belgrad

Different, but related…

…I lived with my aunt, uncle and cousins for a year and a half after my parents divorced, having no idea my cousins were deeply involved in incest until I found myself in the middle of it all. It’s a considerable reason, why I have practical, personal insight into childhood sexuality…and a rather lenient view on incest today…

For much of my life, I’ve wanted to discuss what happened with all of them…but at the same time, how do you do that?

They probably consider this a can of worms, they don’t want to resurface.

We’re living in times where it’s not inconceivable, one could get prosecuted for things they did as a kid, 35+ years ago.

Even I tend to frame myself more and more as “a victim” in this, not because I literally consider myself one [though, it’s complicated and tricky…at a few points, I met the criteria], but because I don’t want my personal recounts legally used against me.

The potential discussion the four of us could have about that point in our history, probably means a lot more to me as a pedophile, than it will ever mean to them. I’d be asking them to drag up something they can no longer have, and probably want to leave in the past…because it’s a socially dangerous topic.

On a personal level…for me…I really want that discussion, which I’m not even sure they’re capable of having for themselves.

There are questions I wish I’d have asked back then, while it was happening…

…Today, it just seems like an impossible discussion to have…a lost opportunity.


Wanting Things That Are Not Good For Children…


Date: August 04, 2021

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I’m not a big fan of the “Soft n Squishy” MAP representation, either. And I’ve aggressively rejected the “Pro/Anti Contact” labels, because I’ve seen how they’ve quickly become a tool for a certain type of MAP to misrepresent and kneecap other MAPs…which is an inherently destructive activity to the MAP movement, itself.

I recognize and acknowledge the wide, diverse, often times conflicting, range of positions and viewpoints among MAPs…I know that I squarely fall into one of these categories…but I refuse to make any room, for those who just want to smear, belittle and dehumanize, those who are literally just sussing out the objectively real, but inconvenient…and maybe even unconventional…It’s still a real, human existence…It still deserves a voice.

I’m just a person with certain experiences and insights to share…experiences and insights which I do not believe have been fairly considered, fairly represented, humanely treated…or receiving of their deserved respect.

I’m tired of being on the team, that constantly has more and more taken away…where they just look for what else they can strip us of…or what burdens they can impose upon us.

It’s why I’ve declared conventional social “wisdom” which has thrown us [and so many others] away like trash, to be not worth a damn…and to be bankrupt of all decency.

I don’t care for their poison…I cannot stomach it anymore, in fact.

“…most likely sometimes want things that are not good for children. And this is ok, we all do.”

I have, once or twice, made rare references to this on BoyChat, years ago…I may have saved it, or not…I might have even published something on my blog…I don’t know…

…But I went to a private religious school. If you have any familiarity with those, then you know junior and senior high classes can get smooshed together into the same spaces…and there can be much intermingling.

I’d say it was 1985…I was fourteen or so…and on the other side of the massive class room…was a first year junior high boy, who I can picture and name til this day…one of a relative few I privately crushed hard on [because you can’t openly do that in a christian school]…and I wanted to fuck him in the ass, so badly…I masturbated to this in my head, well more than once.

In reality, we weren’t close…we talked very little…I merely adored him, as he walked by…He was one of my “one in a million” beauties, who danced through a part of my life.

When I was a teen…and even into my twenties…I had a thing for masturbating, to the fantasy of having anal sex [along with foreplay, penis sucking, even just the proposition stage, etc] with certain very young boys I knew, and with various boy celebrities I liked…

…I’ve never had anal sex with anyone, in my entire life.

So, why discuss it at all?…I do detest the way some people will take what I say and distort it, after all…I don’t appreciate being ridiculed over it…It has the potential for much embarrassment…Some people will distrust me, when I make this sort of admission.

I discuss it, because it is an objectively real element of this MAP existence I’ve lived…I discuss it, to open the door to it’s personal and social complications…I discuss it, so that not only can I make sense out of it for myself, and hence make sense of my own life…but so that others can also realize the nuances…

In practice…I was never going to have anal sex with anyone…I’m more of the Tom O’Carroll style BoyLover…anal sex is gross and dirty…the boys I wanted, were young and substantially smaller than me…I don’t think they could have taken it…It would have been cruel…and from what I could gather, nothing made me believe they actually wanted that for themselves.

No shade is intended towards gays, or other enthusiastic partakers in anal sex…I’m just talking about myself…It’s simply not something I ever would have touched, outside of fictional fantasy in my own head…and I have over fifty years of living, to attest to this.

For some reason…this taste in fantasy completely left me, somewhere in my twenties…or thirties. It’s hard to explain, but anal sex does not excite me at all…not even with really cute boys.

I don’t revel in discussing any of this particular topic, because it’s a public relations minefield…but if I don’t discuss it, then I’m lying by omission…and I’m not really openly discussing everything, that makes up this type of existence…and no matter what people think about anal sex with really young boys…It is, objectively a thing that exists. The desire is something that many of us have…that many of us have to confront, work through and come to terms with.

I don’t consider it to have been something good, for a smaller boy to have experienced with me…And from what I’ve experienced…I handled the desire appropriately, in a way nobody has any valid reason to complain over.

“…And the parts of you that you recognize as unsuitable for being viewed by a child are good. Moreover, it is important that other people get this message too.”


…What a lot of people fail to get…is that I’ve been out here for decades, blabbing away about all the “dirty, gross, naughty, demonized and illegal things”…as a MAP…as a BoyLover…because I wanted to communicate to the world, what it’s actually like to live this existence…not apologize for failing to be “normal”…but to accurately talk about, the kinds of things a MAP experiences, and how they don’t always turn out the way you might expect…Hell, sometimes they might genuinely be positive…At times, it’s been extremely uncomfortable…and I’ve left myself insanely vulnerable, by taring off the scab and letting it all flow out of me.

I’m not trying to paint myself a victim…I embraced this path…It’s something I needed, and it’s something I chose for myself, even though, deep down, I’ve always known that it may one day destroy me…But I have laid my life bare, with little to no expectation of deep social change, springing from my solo efforts.

My first loyalty in my writings and recordings, has always been to honest dialogue…complete honesty…even when that means saying the things, nobody wants to hear…things people will curse me for.

I’ve always hoped it would inspire others, to step forward and speak honestly…Share the truth of their own lives with this world.

Yes…I do speak out of frustration a lot…I’m old enough to have watched for several decades, as governments, organizations, vigilantes and mobs kept their boots on our necks, and blades at our throats…as common services discriminate against us, for no valid reason…as we keep getting dehumanized to the masses, and deprived of any method to correct this course.

I am sick of watching the silencing being imposed, upon not just MAPs…but upon all human existences, child or adult, which concern taboo sexual experiences fundamentally important to their existence…I am sick of the “all or nothing”, failed approaches to individual and social needs…I am sick of listening to people endlessly demonize, patently natural activities which the primary participants never had any complaint over.

I am sick of those people who cannot live with the differences of others…chronically making their own shortcomings everybody else’s problem.

…Why is it so unspeakable and awful…to suggest that pure an natural joy, should be allowed to openly exist as pure and natural joy?

Why does nobody see, when the zealots have become the problem?

…Please…no quoting of The Modern Day Scriptures [aka studies, research, articles and publications condemning us]…I’m old enough to have lived through watching the U.S. government brazenly meddle in this exact field of research…We all know, nearly everything that has been published over the past 50 years or more, is anything but unbiased.

They don’t conduct this type of “research” to learn anything about us…They do it to build a “body of evidence”, which claims to condemn us.

Raw data will say, whatever the researcher intends for it to “say”…That’s the dirty reality of politicized “research”…and let’s not fool ourselves into thinking, that this field is anything other than deeply politicized.

There are so few you can actually trust.

…I’m mighty sick and frustrated of this state of things, also.

I am never going to be what you would recognize as “anti contact”…largely because this world is already drowning in toxic, lethal levels of “anti contact”…It is killing our very humanity.

We need the balancing presence of “pro contact”, now more than ever…You cannot tare the humanity out of the human…It is violating and breaking human beings…This cannot continue…I don’t give a damn what “the experts and authorities” say…”This” cannot continue.

This world is hell enough as it is…and something deep and fundamental is going to break, if we refuse to move back to a place of balance, love and honesty.

Honestly…I think it broke a very long time ago…and we are a species without a soul…in need of deep healing.


Evolutionary Advantages to the Human Species From Minor Attraction…


Date: August 04, 2021

01) LINK

“Minors are physiologically not prepared to reproduce. Attraction to minors does not give one evolutionary advantage, therefore it’s a mental illness.”

Let’s go one step further, women older than 40 have high chance of birth defect and complication, men are less physically capable to assist in nurturing the young, that put them in evolutionary disadvantage. Attraction to elderly or people older than 40 is therefore attraction to older female is mental illness. Milf are mentally ill. How about that?

Since minors cannot reproduce, feeling horny don’t give them evolutionary advantage, so all you horny little fucks are mental ill. How about that?” – Hebemeow

MAP orientation absolutely has evolutionary advantages…and major, serious ones, at that…The problem is, so many people are refusing to acknowledge them.

On it’s own, it promotes the fertility of our species, by initiating the young into sexual activity…as opposed to the current model, of pushing people to stay celibate until well into adulthood, and pushing back having children until late into a females biological fertility.

Yes…I’m speaking of human fertility, in the same way I’d speak of the same in rats and rabbits…but we are all biological life forms…and it’s in our DNA to continually carry our DNA forward as a species.

More sexual activity, ultimately means more reproduction…and any activity which functions in the service of this [including setting the stage for a life full of sex], is an evolutionary advantage for a species.

Secondly…and this gets more into the practical existence of homosexual pedophiles [like me], hebephiles and ephebophiles…Very young girls can become pregnant, though it can be very dangerous [sometimes impossible], for them to actually carry the pregnancy and endure the birth…yet, children, tweens and teens are known to have their own sex drive…tweens and teens in particular, are generally going through the most intense years they will ever experience with their sex drive.

This is because…in natural biology, these are the years when our DNA makes us most prepared to be sexually active, make and raise babies.

Keep in mind…historically, it’s been far more typical for humans to die in their 30’s and 40’s…They needed to reproduce early, otherwise our species would die out.

I’ve been putting forward for years, that [for example] homosexual BoyLovers like myself have evolved into existence, as natures humane way of sparing young girls from dying in child birth, and sparing young males from having to live with celibacy and the natural frustration and aggression that causes.

Bare in mind…I’ve never suggested that how we evolved is perfect…but it is what nature has done with us, and it undeniably does serve the ultimate goal of preserving, growing and evolving our species.

…And none of us deserves to be demonized, dismissed or devalued over it.

If you see it for what it is…it’s honestly quite beautiful.

I think…the conscious-less system of nature did it’s best, given it’s capabilities.

It should also be pointed out, that human families tended to live together and raise the children together…

Yes…mid/older teens and early twenty-somethings were expected to have their offspring underway…but their own parents and elders were there as a support structure [often living in the same house]…Historically, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, whomever, have played a vital role in the raising of [caring for] their own biological lineage.

In that type of community structure…it didn’t matter that the youth still had some growth and refinement ahead of them […and “dirty” secret…a lot of the older adults still did, as well…Were they all supposed to just curl up and die?…]…

When humans are just allowed to be and exist, without endless interference from all the “experts who know better”…fact is…we do tend to organize and function in a communal way that works, and keeps us all alive.

It would be absolutely no different, if MAPs were allowed to openly integrate into society.

One of our biggest problems as a species…is that so many people have taken the fantasy of “the perfectly lived life” [“the perfect childhood”, etc.]…and turned that impossible standard into a demand upon everyone…complete with shattered egos and wounded psyches, when they have to live with the realities of a simply good enough life for reasonably healthy survival.

There is no “perfect existence”…and we are in the throws of a mass social tantrum, from people who believe they’re owed “the perfect life” on a silver platter…

…And, of course…there are all sort of people for them to blame.

In addition…there’s two other things that should be taken into account…

One…humans evolved terribly for reproduction…You go back a few hundred years in history, and something like one in four females were dying in child birth…which is terrible for the survival of their newborn, and any other children dependent on them.

Two…the majority of children literally died before reaching the age of ten years…This is why they “cranked out” so many children, and started as young as feasibly safe…

We of today, can scantly even comprehend the circumstances, in which the mammoth portion of our own species evolution took place…Yet, we still carry the product of that evolution in us.

Given how humans used to have to live…it raises questions, as to what nature made humans do, to overcome all the hardships and death…to ultimately produce a few thriving offspring for every family.

I think this has a lot to do, with why humans are so sexually active, year around, and with such a wide range of attractions existing..but children and youth in particular.

They held the key to the future.


Bringing STD/STIs Under Control…


Date: July 10, 2021

“…but I bet if they got herpes or HIV…”

It should be pointed out, that a STD/STI needs to exist in at least one participant, in order for it to have any chance of spreading…

…and medical screenings are an actual thing.

I’m of the opinion, that they should be both freely available as part of public health services, and mandatory as a precursor in pedophilic and ephebophilic relationships in particular…possibly all sexual relationships.

It often gets me, how people think they’re “so smart”, throwing STD/STIs into our faces…when in reality, if society were humane and at least modestly intelligent about these issues…we could literally neutralize the spreading of STD/STIs.

There might be some rare exception where they just cannot bring someone’s STD/STI under control…But we are living in an era where even HIV positive people can have their infection levels brought down so low, that they are incapable of spreading the virus.

Also, just to be thorough…”sexually active” doesn’t always mean “exchange of bodily fluids”.


“People Becoming Pro-Cs”…


Date: July 01, 2021

[Note: “Pro Contact” is a notion put forward by a group of MAPs, who wanted to distinguish opposing viewpoints on sexual permissibility, within the larger MAP community. Some of us reject the term, as we see it as manipulative and without nuance…also divisive. At the same time, it is true that positive and level headed viewpoints exist among MAPs, regarding taboo sexual behavior…So, the issue being discussed is important.]

01) LINK

“pro-cs are based, antis will never be happy, even if one is anti-c. I think Miami is pro-c and that’s beautiful, they grew and learnt.” – Demon

One of the things that’s never made any sense to me in all of this, is the embracing of dogma.

In addition, I’ve never seen it as even remotely sane, to attempt censoring voices from other MAPs, who have a life of practical experience, sincere study, and well rounded empathy for all impacted by these issues, and how society is going off the rails over them.

If you push one party line and marginalize all else, what you end up with is distortion…because there is normally still some truth in what “the unpopular” MAPs have to express…Maybe, there is a lot of truth in it…

…Maybe, there is more truth in their words, than in those of those pushing dogma.

Regardless of where you plant your own flag…it says everything one needs to know about your stand, when you believe that dissenting viewpoints must be censored or outright dismissed.

If one’s arguments and viewpoints cannot weather any dissent…they’re not much in the way of arguments and viewpoints.

It’s never bothered me that people disagree with my arguments, views and experiences…

…What’s bothered me, is that people have the gall to act like my experiences and observations as a human being are contemptible, hold no meaning and are “lies”…

…On top of this, they re-frame what I’ve spent my life doing, and in extremely bad faith, they claim that I have some sinister, “evil” agenda…to do things which I literally am incapable of doing…and things which I’ve been literally fighting to help reduce.

I don’t get people who think “the conversation must never happen”, when it is what we most need at this specific moment in time.

We need to be fully honest, about the nature of human sexuality. We need to clearly understand where problems exist…and we need to understand clearly, where aggressive special interests have distorted and manipulated, causing harm and devastation in their wake.

All of those things exist…Not a single one of them, should be allowed to continue harming and devastating, on the grounds that they have the momentum of social dogma, and “feel good” notions on their side.


Professional Therapy…


Date: June 28, 2021

People put entirely too much faith and relevance into therapy.

Much of what is provided and getting paid for, in reality, exists in any healthy relationship and social support structure.

My thought, is that so many people are flocking to therapy and raving about it these days, because nearly all of us have been pushed into social isolation, and conditioned to think that paying a professional for an ear, for opinions and advice “is normal”.

…There is nothing about that which is normal.

It’s the byproduct of a failed society.

I’m not suggesting nobody benefits from it…If you are starving for that type of guidance, getting it nowhere else…you likely will benefit in some ways…

…I’m suggesting that “therapy” is naturally free and available, when we are allowed to grow up and live intertwined with a wide enough range of people and experiences.

If you are not kept isolated…you find natural “therapists” among your family and community.


Incredible Ignorance and Arrogance: “This Harm”…


Date: May 30, 2021

01) James Dean – Life, Death, & Personality

“This video answers the question: Can I analyze the life, death, and personality of James Dean? “

Apparently, James Dean as a teen had a homosexual relationship with a church leader…

…and Dr. Grande promptly dismisses this relationship between two apparent homosexuals [or bisexuals], as “…this harm…”.

Need I remind Dr. Grande [along with any other onlooking bigots], that you were not there…You did not personally witness the quality and outcome of the relationship…You have no business making this sort of stigmatizing characterization of it.

I get so fed up with people who don’t live these kinds of existence themselves, making these thoughtless condemnations…while dismissing and talking over the people who were actually in the relationships, doing all those allegedly “yucky” things the bigots don’t approve of.

It’s been long determined, that a very large portion of these relationships are considered to be positive, by the alleged “victim”…Further, it’s also been known that roughly the same sized fraction of “victims” consider it to have been neutral…It’s the well pronounced minority, who say it was traumatic or negative in some way…Yet the last group is the one chosen, to represent the entirety of socially designated “sex abuse victims”.

…and the establishment is hell bent on halting any studies, of the many whys in all of this.

Meanwhile, the arrogant and disrespectful population can say whatever hateful things they please, while whatever objective facts may exist are swept out of sight, nowhere to be seen…

…In the absence of anything solid or empirical, it’s a free for all to say whatever you want…to follow the masses mindlessly…because “everybody knows”…and “it’s all settled science”…and “there is nothing left that we don’t know, or that we could possibly learn…or that we should change”…

You sorts have no right…You have no fucking right at all…talking negatively about those of us who literally find it in our natures to live this way…who have harmlessly found others of the same nature to be [and scrounged a bit of mutual happiness in life] with, who have lived this life and existence, enduring a nasty, hostile, hate filled world…all because we want to show/share love, with someone who wants to be loved.

You don’t even have to deal with this bullshit, of a world full of abusive people who don’t even recognize your natural expression of mutual love to be legitimate…You don’t even have to think of the consequences, or how they destroy people…and for literally no good reason at all.

What’s amazing in all of this…is that you go on to talk about how well James did in school and life, during and after this relationship…yet you don’t pause to contemplate how this disputes James being damaged by the relationship…nor to consider that maybe it played a crucial role in the betterment of his life.

Fuck this dehumanizing contempt…Use your mind and Think!

Broken Record Mode:

For those unaware…

…The reason why such a shocking large portion of “sex abuse victims” have a positive or neutral stance towards their experience, is a direct result of the state defining “sexual assault/abuse” so broadly, that it ensnares masses of cases where those involved actually enjoyed doing it…Their only “crime” was running foul of the people in government, who don’t approve of their private life experiences and choices…but there was no objective harm resulting…On the contrary, there may have been very fond memories…because the “victim” wanted and chose it for themselves.

I cannot bring myself to respect any system so warped and twisted, that it ruthlessly punishes the shared natural humanity of others.

This is made so much worse, in that it inflicts itself based on so many false pretexts.

It is a system which refuses to function in reality…while forcing countless others to suffer for it.

It is crystal clear in my mind, just why so many people hate the government [and often society, also]…when their own existence has been entirely raped by this power structure, that wont even treat them like human beings.