Category Archives: In Self Defense: The Life & Times of an Atheist BoyLover

The personal “book” of my life…

Living the Proof: My ’20 Years Online’ Anniversary…


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Date: September 18, 2018

01) Marking 20 Years: 1998-2018

I’m happy to announce that a few days back, I marked the twenty year anniversary of my arrival in the BoyLove/MAP community!

It all started at BoyChat!…

…And in the past two decades of personal writings and recordings…the grand total of victims raped or otherwise brutalized and abused, as a result of my sharing of myself to the world…is a big, fat ZERO!

Nobody has befallen an ill fate, of any form, as result of my consistent, twenty years of multi-pronged human expression, as a living BoyLover.

We can exist in peace!

…This is the reality, of a MAPs voice in this world…

…I have been actively exercising my own voice for over two decades…and the world is just as fine, alive and full of possibilities, as it ever has been.

This is why we persevere…to disprove all doubters, who claim this exact thing cannot be entirely peaceful…or constructive.

I am living proof [as many of us are], that the sky will never fall, on account of tolerance for MAPs.


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Collateral Damage of a Deeply Dysfunctional System: What Would Anthony Avalos Say?…


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Date: August 31, 2018

01) Who’s to blame? 10 year old Lancaster boy beaten to death after coming out gay

Thanks to feinmann0!

Community Submitted

“Was the death of Anthony Avalos, a Lancaster, California ten year old boy who came out as gay, the result of neglect and oversight of CPS authorities after years of complaints?

It has since been revealed that the Department of Children and Family Services received at least 16 calls over the years alleging that Heather and Leiva were abusing the children, aged 11 months to 12 years old. School administrators and family members, as well as a teacher and a counselor, had all called in to voice their concerns.

They reported that the children were being sexually abused, beaten and bruised, forced to fight one another, and forced to eat from the trash, according to Department of Children and Family Services Director Bobby Cagle. The concerned callers also reported that the children were being denied food and water, were forced to crouch for hours, and were even dangled upside down from the home’s staircase.

A Los Angeles County Sheriff’s spokesman also revealed that Child Protective Services had come to the house at least once for child abuse allegations involving one of Anthony’s siblings. Maria reported Heather and Leiva to the county and Anthony’s school three years ago but said nothing was done to remove the children from the home.”

…If I recall correctly…this is the exact same system, which forcibly removed Anthony from the home of his loving grandparents [who raised him, and wanted to keep him]…and dumped him into that hell…all because his mother had legal custody rights, according to the state.

These “child protection” organizations are very notorious, for a number of reasons…ranging from overzealous crusaders, to inept bums working at them…to overwhelming workloads, from too many cases for their people to handle…

…One of the glaring issues…is all the mind-blowing waste…of time, energy, money and resources…which goes into tormenting and devastating intergenerational relationships [plus the kids who are being “too naughty”, and doing entirely natural things with each other], at the hands of these organizations, and their people…

…when we’ve simultaneously got all these cases like Anthony’s…where there is objective abuse…where the abuse is both extreme, and life threatening…But the people responsible for stopping this sort of thing are…inept?…apathetic?…Whatever efforts they have put forward…they were useless, in stopping this boy’s senseless death.

Was it worth it?…

…Was this tradeoff worth it?…

…Was Anthony Avalos’ unspeakable murder offset, by all the naughty perverts corralled and fed into the system?…

…Do we all feel it was time, resources, energy, lives and deaths and tortures “well spent”…that the people of these agencies likely had to spend, interfering in intergenerational relationships, where they were neither wanted nor needed?…

Maybe…it’s time to start focusing on genuine cases of abuse?…

…I strongly believe, Anthony would say it is…

…Maybe, Anthony Avalos would be alive today…if it weren’t for all the moral outrage cases, which these agencies are tasked to eradicate?

Just a thought, there.

…I tend to think that a ten year old’s ability to continue living healthy and untortured, is universally more important, than some moral supremacists fits of outrage, which demand appeasement.

The system and culture in the U.S. tortured and murdered this boy, every bit as much as the primary people behind the violence.

If you support the way things currently are…I’m not sure how you can live with yourself…

…It’s your position, which traded away the life and safety of Anthony Avalos…as if it were some sort of bargaining chip.


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So, You’ve Noticed There Are No Children Out Fighting For Their Right to Have Sex With Adults?…


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Date: July 28, 2018

So, You’ve Noticed There Are No Children Out Fighting For Their Right to Have Sex With Adults?…

…And, if you were around in the days before slavery abolition…you’d no doubt note, that there weren’t any slaves protesting in the streets for their freedom…

So…you think you’ve got “an ace in your hand”, by pointing out the obvious…that children are effectively prohibited, and literally hobbled, from even exercising any type of educated voice on this issue?

Look around you…Look at the cases of “victims”, who defend their “abusers”…Look at the “victims”, who refuse to testify against their “abusers”…Look at the “victims”, who refuse to cooperate with investigations…Look at the “victims”, who are angry at what the system is doing to their “abuser” [their literal lover]…

…The rock bed of this movement is out there…Don’t kid yourself…It does exist…

…But in this culture…that demographic is debased from any real, political power…

If the legal doors were opened…and the freedom were allowed…the fighting kids would be there.

…You are a blind fool, if you believe otherwise.

There is so much you don’t see, yes…and it’s because of the multiple layers of discrimination and prohibition.


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I Might Be Wrong?…


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Date: July 10, 2018

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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It is fair enough to say that I, Steve Diamond, might be wrong about any number of issues I’ve explored, or conclusions I’ve arrived at…

…I am fully open to being corrected, and changing my own outlook…

Where frustrated people who declare that “I am wrong” fail…is in their presumption that the science is settled, especially as relates to intergenerational sexual relationships, and issues involving MAPs…

…This is the big lie, that so many of them tell themselves and each other…

The science has not even truly been allowed to begin…despite long running, good faith efforts to begin this process…

While decades later…we are finally starting to see a small break away, from the fanatical interference this field of research has been marred down in…it’s still not honestly at a place where it should be…

The consistent denial by fanatics, in allowing MAPs [and intergenerational relationships] to be scrupulously researched, like any other topic would be…has led me to a few fundamental stances on how I approach MAP issues…First, that I fully reject “social wisdom” on these issues, as being authoritative or valid…Second, that all things under reported or ignored, must be emphasized, in order to counterbalance the gross bias of those spreading distorted information…and Third, that institutions and social structures which refuse to represent people and issues accurately, must be changed or abolished so that we may stop them from harming people and society.

I fundamentally reject the system, that fundamentally rejects me…the system that refuses to deal with MAPs, on an honest and humane level.

Such a system, is purveyor of lies and human devastation…

…As a human being of conscience, and high ethical standards…this is completely unacceptable to me.

So…could I be wrong about some things?…of course I could be…

…But I am not going to roll over, and capitulate, when we don’t even have a clear view on where things honestly stand in the real world [as opposed to the insides of paranoid minds], because the morally outraged constantly want to stand in the way as a barrier.

Most of my life…I’ve spent it standing up for the disenfranchised, and the social outcasts…probably because I am one, and I know how dirty the establishment is towards us…but just as relevant, because society needs to learn and understand how it also degrades and injures itself, by treating the least powerful and most vulnerable amongst it, so atrocious and inhumane.

If I am wrong about anything…If I even could be wrong, about everything…

…Then allow the process of science [empirical research] free travel…Allow the clearer picture to be witnessed and understood, by the masses…

…The numbers will fall where they will fall…

…And then, we can have the conversations, on where I may have been wrong…or where I may have been right…

If the morally outraged are so certain in their own conclusions…then what do they have to fear in this honest proposition?…

…unless they are bluffing…

…unless they don’t believe, that the scientific findings, will support their desired conclusions…

Get the corruption out of empirical research…Only then, will I allow myself to be lectured on the ways I may be wrong…provided that the statistics support it.

Until that day arrives…not a single human being on this planet, has the standing to judge me “wrong”, for my honest exploration on human sexuality…nor on my related conclusions.


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Curing Persecution Complex (Narrated)…


In_Self_Defense
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Date: April 30, 2018

01) Christians Are Being Persecuted & No Evidence Would Change His Mind!

“Joe Messina, Los Angeles based conservative talk show host, joins David to discuss so-called Christian Persecution”


This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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Persecution complex is frequently about lack of awareness, and lack of human empathy.

This is why we can see large majority demographics claiming to be persecuted [often worse than the norm], even when they are sustaining nothing especially out of the norm [compared to other groups using a service, living in society, etc.].

Many will even claim persecution over being expected to abide by social laws…laws which everybody else are expected to abide by.

Many will claim persecution “focused specifically on their own groups”…claiming their is some bias…while acting oblivious to the fact, that groups they don’t like have gotten hit just as hard by the exact same thing…if not harder, and/or for a duration that far exceeds their own.

Most people living in “the first world” who believe themselves persecuted, need to broaden their perspective. Their belief of being persecuted, is a belief distorted by isolationist behavior.

…It’s something they’ve devised in their own heads…because they are not living, thinking and realizing things, in the real world around them.

A few good practices to live by, which can help combat this self distortion…

Listen to People:

Strive to sincerely understand people who are different from you.

Let them speak, and articulate their own world circumstances.

Empathize:

Attempt to visualize yourself in those circumstances.

Explore how those circumstances might affect you, and how you might arrive at the same destination under the same [or similar] circumstances.

Understand that difference in outlook and experience, does not automatically mean difference in objectives.

Identify Common Ground:

Realize that not everybody else is “out to get you”…and that your perceived “enemies” may be just as motivated to fight [and outraged over], whatever unfairness you perceive as happening to yourself…Maybe, because they have a history of experiencing the exact same thing.

Realize that even people with vast differences, still normally share a lot of base values on human decency.

The Loudest Are Not Everybody’s Leader:

Keep in mind…the loudest and most obnoxious people, making the biggest social problems in this world, are getting the lions share of attention…because they are the loudest and most obnoxious people, making the biggest social problems in this world

…This does not mean we all accept such people as being leaders…Many of us reject those people, and their claims.

Don’t let the talking heads of this world, hijack the social dialogue…and don’t let them hijack your humanity, along with it.

Ugly truth about the loud and obnoxious…is that they are often making a personal gain of some form, off of exploiting the very same social conflicts that they foster and promote…It is profitable for them, to keep other groups divided and at each others throats.

Extend Good Faith, and Find it in Others:

Humanity is there…The only question is if you are open to looking for it…and recognizing it.

People are a lot more compassionate, giving and forgiving, than you might realize…Don’t slam the door shut on this.

Our Experiences Form Us:

Nobody arrives at a worldview, based on sheer personal desire to hold such a worldview.

…There are countless social forces [tensions, pressures, cravings, relationships, institutions, experiences, etc.] in this world…which push, pull and stretch [sometimes tare] us into all sorts of directions…

…We don’t consciously make decisions about our ultimate outlook [or what we will fight on behalf of in this world], based upon “what will screw over the most other people”…nor “what will make us the most evil”…

…We stand and fight for something, because we recognize that something [no matter how unique or unfashionable] needs to be stood up for, and fought on behalf of.

Learn to Understand Responses:

Lastly…

…Wherever you see people defending “the indefensible”…realize that what is normally happening…is that people are pushing back against a social imbalance so extreme, that all objectivity and rational decency has broken down…

…And they are trying to reestablish, the objectivity and rational decency which is missing.

Don’t ascribe to this behavior, things which are not objectively there.


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Is Homosexuality [or Pedophilia] Narcissistic?…


ISDLogo
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Date: March 20, 2018

I’ve always considered being a homosexual pedophile, to be about as selfless, altruistic and giving, as sex can possibly get.

In comparison to typical heterosexuality, which eventually entails procreation…Isn’t it far more narcissistic to desire having small copies of yourself?

…Just a thought.

The narcissist “connection” has never made any sense to me…

…Your heart desires, who your heart desires…

…You’re attracted to, who you are attracted to…

…It’s not about desiring one’s own self…

…It’s about wanting to love another person…and be good to them…

…How is that narcissistic?


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Thoughts on Veganism (Narrated)…


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Date: February 20, 2018

Note: This did not make it into the recording…

Something I left out of this, but I feel deserves mentioning…is that I’ve had at least one acquaintance go vegan…And he remained vegan, for somewhere around two years…before transitioning into more of a vegetarian [eating chicken and fish].

Some people develop conditions due to deficiencies in their eating, when they go vegan…This is just a fact of life…

…While many vegans will argue, that you can get everything you need through a vegan diet…fact is, it’s not as simple and easy as many claim…In fact, of the people I’ve found online while contemplating a vegan life…the ones who left it, commented on how hard it was to get all the nutrition their body needed through a vegan diet…that it’s harder than a normal diet…and you need supplements [which is a maze to navigate, in it’s own right].

It’s fair to recognize, that not everybody’s body has exactly the same needs…and going vegan may not work out so well, for every single person on this planet.


This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.


I have certain principles, where it comes to the rights of living things…or, my ethics as relates to their rights, and how I want to be as a human being…

One of those principles, is to never cause needless suffering.

…Another one of those principles, is to leave untouched what is not interfering with [or impeding] me…

…A third principle, is that all living things are part of the food chain…but we should not take more than we need…

I don’t go walking around, looking for random small animals and insects to stomp on…I think such a wasteful, cruel activity, would qualify as evil.

…That does not mean I am fundamentally opposed to hunting, trapping, fishing or farming…

Whatever the farming industry may have grown into, today [which is it’s own discussion and, yes, there is much wrong with it]…I don’t believe that classic animal farming, is fundamentally wrong.

It is not a pretty endeavor…but I am not against raising animals for food.

I don’t eat a whole lot of meat, myself…This is primarily because of the cost of most meat…I can’t afford to buy a lot of it…What I do buy, is generally on the level of bologna and hot dogs…sometimes I get a burger, when I go out…If I have the funds saved up, I may get sea food.

I’m not going to apologize for this…nor feel bad…It’s brought me a great deal of joy in life, eating the foods I love to eat…meat has been no small part of that.

Markets:

You patron the markets you have access too…and I mean that both by locality, and financially…

We don’t have a vibrant vegan market, around these parts…Yes, I know…a lot of ordinary market foods [ie: vegetables] are “vegan by default”…But what I mean, is that you cant find a lot of options for the imitation meats, or the “anything else” that’s made without “animal products” in them.

In addition to this, the vegan products are expensive…in a life where I am not in a position to spend that kind of money…

Now…I look upon vegan cooking, as being kind of exotic…I like the philosophy…I respect people who choose to live that way…Much of the vegan cooking I’ve seen, looks amazing…I’ve put more than a tiny bit of thought into going vegan, myself…and I’ve dabbled in vegan foods…

My vegan dabbling:

…I like almond milk…I quite enjoy chocolate almond milk…but for four dollars a quart?…

…I went through a phase, where I was buying vegan “cheese”…made with vegetables…I have to admit…sliced up on a cracker, it was good…It didn’t honestly melt like real cheese, as the package claimed…but, it was alright…Again…at around four dollars for a small block of it, when you could get the same volume of real cheese for more like a dollar fifty…I eventually quit buying it.

Fake meat…I really got into buying these fake beef strips…I enjoyed eating them, too…Pretty expensive for the amount you were getting, but I could make a few meals out of them…After about a year, the store stopped carrying them…Apparently, the demand was not there.

More recently…I gave in and tried some of those vegan cookies, you find in convenience stores, and in “nutrition supplement” isles…And you know…if the product is at least up front and honest about what it is, I’m generally very forgiving…But this time…I don’t appreciate something talking itself up so high, that it essentially claims “you wont tell the difference between this, and a real cookie”…just to pop a piece of it in your mouth, and discover all the dry, stale-like bleh!…And I paid how much for this thing?…I could have gotten a bunch of good cookies, for the price of just one of these.

Vegan options are sparse…inconsistently available…expensive, pricing them out of my range…and sometimes, they’re not a good eating experience…

The food supply which is here:

Every time I cross the deli at my local grocery store, there are rotisserie chickens in the hot section…

They will be prepared…they will be bought…There will be more shipped in…Whatever doesn’t get sold, will be written off…maybe taken home by the people who work at the store…or thrown out…

…but there will be a new supply of rotisserie chickens, almost constantly available…

If I don’t buy a chicken…somebody else will…if nobody gets it…it goes to waste…

…I’d rather buy the chicken [which is already dead, anyway], than see it go to waste…

In addition…that avenue of food is going to continue, whether I take part in it or not…

I don’t stomp on small animals…but:

…I do have plenty of mouse traps in the house…and I’ve killed loads of mice.

I had a hamster as a boy…and I generally enjoyed rodents…It took me many years to move from that mental state, to where I am today…

…I’m sick to death of food being gotten into…things being chewed up, or having a nest built inside of them…important things being peed and pooped all over…

…I’m happy to leave mice alone, while they are living outside, going about their business outside…But once they start invading my home?…they’ve committed a capital offense…

Over the years…I’ve gotten tired of cleaning up the bloody messes and mouse corpses, compliments of the classic mouse traps…I’ve purchased live traps…several of them, in fact…

I do not, however, subscribe to the notion…that just because you have a live trap, means you have to have a live release…

The reality of mice during the winter [because that’s when they are the biggest problem] in this region…is that, if they’ve moved into the house…that means they’re not living out somewhere in a den they’ve prepared for themselves…Kicking them out of the house once the temperature is so low, the ground is frozen solid, and there’s no place for them to honestly go…is just sentencing them to a frozen death…or being picked off by other animals…or they are just going to come right back into the house…or find somebody else’s house to infest…

The objective in catching a mouse, is to eliminate the mouse…and safeguard everything that mouse might contaminate or destroy…

…I don’t care about the well being of the mouse…

By happy accident…I washed a few of these live traps with bleach water…And now, whenever mice go inside…they get asphyxiated…and I don’t have to deal with causing their death.

I consider it unfortunate…I’d rather it not be this way…but I have no guilt, about any of this.

If mice threaten the health of this home…they are fair game to kill.

In close:

I subscribe to the philosophy, held by my Native American ancestors…

…We don’t kill for no reason…We don’t kill for cruelty…

…We take only what we need…We manage and respect it…

…But we are part of the animal kingdom, and a higher part of the food chain…and there is no reason, why we should be expected to feel shame over this…This is how we have evolved.

If the day comes…when they can economically produce real meat, without having to kill an animal…I am all for the advancement…Make it low cost, and I’ll be very happy…

…But so long as meat eating animals are on this planet…animals are going to continue to be eaten…humans employing the least cruel methods…

…I feel far worse for those animals that die, getting torn apart by a pack of coyotes.


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Circumcision…


ISDLogo
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Date: February 18, 2018

People have many times told me, “wait until he is an adult!”…

…It just seems to me…if I can be expected, as a pedophile, to not do loving, tender things with a boys penis, until he reaches a certain age…

…those same parents and professionals should be perfectly onboard, with not mutilating that same boy penis…until he is old enough to comprehend and consent.


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“Let’s Sue Ozzy!”…


ISDLogo
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Date: January 23, 2018

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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Does anyone remember when Ozzy Osbourne was taken to court, because fundamentalist religious parents believed their teenage son committed suicide because of listening to Ozzy’s song, “Suicide Solution”?…

Despite that the song was not an encouragement to commit suicide…indeed, it was quite the opposite message…and despite the existence of metaphors…and despite that art commonly takes an unflinching, fierce form…Nobody was successfully telling any of this, to those religious parents…who saw a song title [“Suicide Solution”], and that was all they ever needed to see, or know…Their minds were set…all facts be damned…

…Ozzy was no longer allowed to be anything in their minds, than the wicked demon they envisioned him as…

Often times…this is precisely what I feel like…not just when people attack me for being a pedophile…but when people attack the life’s work, I’ve done…

At this point…I’ve been writing about being a homosexual pedophile, for about twenty years…The first several years of writing, are mostly lost…but, I might have a substantial body of work, stretching back fifteen years…It’s long and broad enough, to where I could not deny my drive and ambition, if I wanted to…What I’ve created, is stark and bold…

…And some people sneer at it…claim, or imply, “some child is going to get raped, because of it”…

…They say a lot of really nasty, hurtful things…spinning my words, and what I’ve built, entirely out of it’s natural [and historical] context…

…They haven’t got the first inkling of a clue…as to why I have created this body of content…Why I had too…Despite that I’ve explained this, numerous times over…

…These kinds of zealots, are fundamentalists…

…They don’t care, that there is something much deeper and broad…and, indeed, far different from what they are expecting…contained within this body of work…

…Or, maybe some of them do recognize this…and the fact that they cannot control what they don’t understand, terrifies them…

They want things to be so simple, and categorized…separate and isolated…Everything where it can be easily manipulated…

They only want to think and speak of things…in the strict way that they want to speak and think of those things…And they wont tolerate others, behaving differently.

It’s because we live in a world…where Ozzy Osbourne even could be dragged before a court, for the “offense” of making a song about a hard subject…

…that people like me exist, to push back against the ignorant insanity…from the people who refuse to see, refuse to listen, refuse to communicate…and refuse to understand…refuse to coexist…


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MAP’s Belong…


ISDLogo
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Date: January 19, 2018

01) We Should Call Ourselves “Male Sexualists” Because The Alternatives Suck Even More [Dead Link]

This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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Not everything we do is intended to be specifically for outsiders.

This is an important nuance, because pedophile issues, hebephile issues and ephebophile issues, are often times unique…and our communities need a language to communicate amongst ourselves…as well as to understand ourselves with.

This type of communication [and self introspect] has no concern, with how the outside world thinks about us…and it shouldn’t.

These are our issues…not theirs…These are our identities to own, live with and flesh out…not theirs…

Being a pedophile, hebephile or ephebophile, is nothing to be ashamed over…And outsiders who fail to judge an individual based upon their ethical conduct, have nothing of relevance to say about this.

This fight is not about the labels we use to identify ourselves…

…The fight is over how whatever lexicon is being used to reference us, is being dominated, exploited and corrupted, for the end goal of unjustly ruining people [individuals and entire groups].

Abandoning, forfeiting and retreating from any label we use, will not confront, nor overcome, this problem…And it’s a meaningless treadmill, to keep renaming ourselves.

Bad will actors will always be there, to point out that you are not adequately frothing out the mouth over “whatever”…and the new identity will be dragged back to square one.

When bad will actors are unjustly clubbing you over the head…the answer is to take that club away from them [expose them for what they are]…not allow them to keep performing the same manipulations, over and over and over.

The primary problem with what society at large might call “sex trash” minorities, is an utter lack of organized direction and unity, amongst those minorities.

We are walked all over, because of a very broad lack of vision and will amongst our own kind, to change the fact that people are walking all over us.

Until we confront and fix this…no amount of name changing is going to help.

I proudly acknowledge that I am a pedophile…because, a vast swath of the population expects me to apologize for it…And that’s a major, major problem…My pedophilia is one of the most beautiful parts of me…I will never apologize for it…I will celebrate it…and talk about it accordingly.

Nobody will ever get away with attacking me, for what makes me such a spectacular human being.

I don’t worry so much about what outsiders say…They are ignorant…I concern myself with speaking and finding the truth, and sharing it with others.

I will start to concern myself with broader public relations, when the “sex trash” minorities finally find their legs, stand up in united large numbers…and start putting muscle behind their own humanity.

I’m happy to work towards that day…but it will never come, if our kinds never realize they belong in this world, as they are.


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