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….







………….A page to commemorate International BoyLove Day



Introduction:

Here is an archive copy of the International BoyLove Day website, formerly owned, maintained and hosted by The SafeHaven Foundation [formerly located at shfri.net].

This is one of the earliest, and longest running, IBLD websites on the internet. It had existed since the very beginning of IBLD, in 1998.

This website observed it’s last IBLD, on December 23, 2017, after which it ceased being maintained and was released by it’s owner, to the stewardship of those who would choose to keep it.

The content of this website has been reconstructed here, taking as few liberties as possible, in order to maintain the original integrity of the site, itself.

Some graphics may be missing and graphical depictions may be different from the original website, but the site content is still reasonably intact.

All links which are either bad, dead or doubtfully good anymore, have been enclosed in [brackets].

You may click the links to navigate this archive, or just scroll down.




Start Page:

Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


…………………….International BoyLove Day!©


United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 19:

Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

The Charter of Fundamental Rights of the European Union
Article 11: Freedom of expression and information:

Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers.

Article 13: Freedom of the arts and sciences:
The arts and scientific research shall be free of constraint. Academic freedom shall be respected.

United States Constitution: First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances


  • IBLD.net is not about “pedophilia” as the word is misused and demonized today.
  • IBLD.net is about consensual sexually expressed boyhood relationships with older males.
  • IBLD.net does not harbor or provide links to boy erotica (“child pornography”).
  • IBLD.net does not support or condone molestation, predation, or other illegal acts.


    However, many individuals and groups want to suppress any rational discussion of sexually expressed boyhood relationships with older males, under the false premise of “protecting children”. They are afraid of open discussion of new information on these issues, so they resort to misinformation, lies, and threats. They have worked long and hard to establish the false public perception that all such relationships are harmful, and they lash out hysterically at any who dare to challenge them. If you are of a sane and reasonable mind, and are willing to look at both sides of any issue, no matter how unpopular, you are respectfully invited to read and consider the following information and links.

    Click Here to Enter…………………………Click Aqui para Español




  • Index – International BoyLove Day:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.



    Click for a larger version

    Welcome to the Home Page of
    International
    BoyLove Day!©

                

    Continuously serving responsible boylove since July, 1998

    Next celebration is December 23, 2017

    While responsible boylove is about the caring, mentoring and loving relationships that exist between millions of boys and older males, there are, sadly, a few older males who use and abuse boys for their own selfish purposes. Society, and especially the media, often fail to distinguish between these two opposites. We trust that you, and the other 298,284 people who have read here since July 1, 1998, came with a desire to recognize and understand the truth.

    What IS IBLD?

    The history and observance of IBLD

    [Contact IBLD – Discontinued]

    IBLD Art by Scruffy Lad

    [Daily visitor count – Discontinued]

    Basic facts about boylove for visitors.

    Introduction to BoyLove for boylovers.

    [Peer Support Exchange: finding real-life friendships – Discontinued]

    IBLD en Español

    Link to other BoyLove resources (BoyLinks.Net)

    [SafeHaven Scholarship Referral Service – Discontinued]

    We would like to know a little bit about who our visitors are, and why they come to this page. Please take a moment to fill out our [Visitor Survey – Discontinued]. You may also view the results of that survey to date.




    Mission:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    International
    BoyLove Day!©


    International BoyLove Day has been established to give due honor and recognition to current and former loved boys who, in their quest for the love and acceptance they could find nowhere else, chose to defy the artificial and malicious rules that forbade such love. It also honors those kind, caring, and courageous older males – some who are still adolescents themselves – who have given over their lives to the love, nurture, and mentoring of boys. These brave boys and their older friends have committed themselves to this time honored and beneficial tradition in the face of suspicion, opposition, and hate from that portion of today’s society who are willfully ignorant, and who neither understand nor appreciate boys who desire and seek after this love, or the heroic older males who try to fill their need.

    As noted by the distinguished scholar Dr. Paul Wilson, who is currently Chair of Criminology at Bond University in Australia: “For the reality is that boys have come to men and will continue, for time immemorial, to come to them in order to have their sexual and emotional needs met.”

    IBLD is a set of ideals, aspirations, and goals; it is not an organization. It has no “headquarters,” “officers,” or “members,” conducts no “real life” meetings, or keeps any statistics other than those published on (and derived from) this web site. Personal observances and activities are the responsibility of the individual, and group observances are organized and conducted locally with neither knowledge nor coordination of the operators of this web site.

    The semiannual observation of International BoyLove Day is keyed to the summer solstices in each hemisphere. In order to allow greater participation, the celebration usually occurs on the Saturday on or immediately following each solstice.


    The IBLD logo is designed to be used jointly with the BLogo by Kalos.

    The first observance of
    International BoyLove Day©
    was on December 21, 1998.

    Home Page




    History:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    A brief history
    International
    B
    oyLove Day!
    ©



    Although there had been some previous general discussions, the concept of International BoyLove Day!© was specifically proposed jointly on two “boylove” discussion forums near the end of June, 1998. It was suggested that the observance should take place each year on the summer solstice. Since this date had already passed for 1998, it was further suggested that this celebration could take place twice a year, on the summer solstices in both the northern and southern hemispheres. This web site was then established to keep this concept alive and to promote the observance, and has been continuously updated ever since with contributions from numerous parties. The first organized observance was on December 21, 1998.

    One of the features of the early IBLD observances was a 48 hour IRC “marathon” which was open to all, and discussions among the numerous participants resulted in the date being shifted to the first Saturday after the solstice, rather than on the solstice itself. The reasoning was that it was easier for participants to schedule activities than on a work day. In the June, 2002, marathon discussions, the consensus was that, partly because of the huge amounts of time and effort that went into each celebration, two observations each year was too much, and that only the June observations would be held henceforth. An additional factor with the December observance was the conflict with the Christmas holidays observed in many countries. Unfortunately, the IRC discussions were never resumed after 2002 because of security concerns.

    As the IBLD observance has matured, much of the original fervor has been superseded by a quieter and more private tone. With the IRC marathon gone, the “drum beating” has subsided, and observations are reported as more personal and with less public display. Since less effort is required and has been expended in promotional activities such as the day-by-day “countdown” that was once a feature on various other forums, the reasons for the adoption of the once-a-year observance have become much less of a factor. Additionally, a significant percentage of those responding to the IBLD Visitor Survey who expressed any preference opted for the twice-a-year observance. Therefore, as of 2005, the celebration was posted as occurring on the first Saturday after the summer solstice in both the northern and southern hemisphere. However, any person or persons are obviously free to celebrate IBLD on any day or days they so choose.

    Home Page




    Observe:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    The observance of
    International

    BoyLove Day!©



    Celebrated twice each year on the first Saturday
    on or after the summer solstice in each hemisphere.

    The observance of International BoyLoveDay© may be only a silent and invisible remembering of what the day stands for, if there is no one with whom to share the occasion, or there is not the opportunity or desire to do anything in a public way. A small, single blue candle in the home may be the only observance.

    The blue candle has become the symbol of IBLD, and while some may choose to anonymously leave an enclosed and lighted blue candle in a safe public place, perhaps along with a supply of notes describing the observance, most will light their candle in the privacy of their own home. But the lighting of a candle is only one of the many of ways that this celebration of caring and love is observed around the world.

    For some, it may mean a meeting with one or more friends, perhaps a meal together, and a remembrance of times past, a discussion of times present, and sharing of hopes for the times yet to come.

    Still others, who have been privileged in the past to share love with a boy, may contact or spend the day with the man that boy has now become, perhaps even with his family, if, as is the case with the vast majority of former loved boys, he is married and has children.

    But this day is really for, and about, those fortunate loved boys and boylovers who are now in the midst of a happy and profitable relationship. And who are further fortunate in that no one has interrupted and destroyed their happiness in the name of societal propriety, as so often is the case. This is a day when they can revel in their closeness, and find joy in their camaraderie as they enjoy whatever activities they have chosen.

    Hopefully, each succeeding observance of IBLD will find us closer to that day when the present ignorance, malice, and gross injustice now accorded to loved boys and boylovers will be replaced with understanding, compassion, and fairness, a day when love will be honored and approved between any two human beings.

    Home Page




    Artscruf:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    IBLD Art by Scruffy Lad


    Snow Man and Boy
    December 1998


    BoyLove Sunset
    June 1999


    BoyLove Album
    December 1999


    Boylove Ribbon
    June 2000


    Ho Ho Ho, Boys
    December 2000


    King Cole
    December 2001


    His SafeHaven
    In memory of “Aquarius”
    June 2002


    Surfers
    June 2004?

    Click on image for larger view

    Home PagePagina de inicio




    Basic Facts:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.



    BASIC FACTS ABOUT BOYLOVE


    Information for inquirers about sexually
    expressed boy/older male relationships.

    Since 15 August 2009, there have been 55297 visits to this page.

    Generally perceived wisdom is saturated with misinformation concerning sexually expressed boyhood relationships with older males, also known as “boylove.” Some of these fallacies originate in academia from victimologically oriented social scientists and are then foisted upon the public by print and electronic media. Additional sources are religion and other superstitions, unfounded folk lore, various so-called “child protection” groups and organizations, including the operatives who profit from the lucrative “child sex abuse industry.” There are also “youth rights,” “child love,” and similar factions who confuse and conflate the core issues of boylove with these other matters, making sometimes specious claims and posting confrontational “manifestos” that serve no useful purpose. Even web sites and forums purportedly supporting boylove provide sometimes mixed and questionable messages.

    This presentation is intended to refute the current myths, superstition, misinformation, exaggeration, and outright lies; to avoid the clutter of irrelevant tangential matters; and instead to address the foundational issues of boylove by offering rational and reasonable facts, sensible observations, and references to research which is free from victimological biases.


    What is boylove?

    In the broadest sense, boylove is the bilateral and reciprocal attraction between a boy and an older male, i.e., the love of a prepubertal or early adolescent boy FOR an older male, as well as the love of such a boy BY an older male; the latter typically manifested in a desire to responsibly protect, provide for, and mentor the boy. These attractions, by definition, have at least a latent sexual component which may or may not be actively expressed by mutual consent.[more]

    Click on the following additional questions to scroll down to their answers.

    Are boylove and pedophilia the same thing?

    How many boylovers are there?

    Do all relationships between boys and boylovers involve sex?

    Are boys psychologically harmed by sexually expressed relationship with older males?

    Is a prepubescent boy capable of enjoying sex?

    Can boys consent to sex?

    How long do sexually expressed relationships between boys and boylovers last?

    Are boylovers homosexuals?

    Do boys who are sexually involved with older males become homosexuals?

    Is boylove a mental illness?

    Are all boylovers the same?

    Why are all incidents of sexually expressed boy/older male experiences reported in the media as “crimes?”

    Why do some websites and forums seem to address boy/older male sexuality in rather insensitive and offensive ways?



    Are boylove and pedophilia the same thing?

    “Pedophilia” derives from Greek words describing the nonsexual love of a child of either gender by any older person. However, in everyday use it has been corrupted into a pejorative descriptor for those – principally males – who force their sexual attentions on unwilling children, and who are perhaps more correctly described as “molesters” or “predators.” Such irresponsible behaviors are the complete opposite of those of the responsible boylover. [more] [Return to top of page]


    How many boylovers are there?

    The short answer is that nobody knows. Some research indicates that as many as 30% of adult males exhibit a sexual response to boys, although they may never act on that attraction. Surveys have found that some 17% of males had one or more sexual encounters as boys with an older person, most often another male, which amounts to some 20 million when applied to US census numbers of males 15 and older. Other research indicates that the average sexually active boylover is involved over his lifetime with three boys, which indicates nearly 7 million boylovers in the US alone. These are admittedly very tenuous figures, but they seem to indicate that the overwhelming majority of sexually expressed boy/older male relationships are known only to the two principals, with very few ever coming to the attention of authorities. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Do all relationships between boys and boylovers involve sex?

    No, research indicates that some 1/3 of self-identified boylovers refuse, for one reason or another, to allow sex to develop with boys, another 1/2 restrict themselves to situations in which the boy encourages the contact, while only about 1/6 unilaterally encourage or actively promote sex, with any form of coercion being extremely rare. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Are boys psychologically harmed by sexually expressed relationship with older males?

    There is no valid empirical evidence that such relationships are intrinsically harmful to the boy, so long as they are consensual. Any harm that occurs either is because the boy did not consent and was assaulted; or is the result of cultural taboos which generate inappropriate reactions by parents, teachers, social workers, police, the judiciary, etc. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Is a prepubescent boy capable of enjoying sex?

    While boys cannot ejaculate until they reach puberty, they are capable of erections at birth. Self-stimulation is common, and even masturbation to “dry” orgasm. Boys typically investigate one another’s genitals, this may involve mutual manual or oral (rarely anal) stimulus. Boys tend not to attach emotional significance to sexual activities; for them these satisfy curiosity and are simply pleasurable games which may continue well into adolescence. It is not uncommon for a boy to seek out a knowledgeable older male for information and cooperation in his investigations and games. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Can boys consent to sex?

    There are widely divergent opinions on what constitutes consent, about different levels of consent, and if children can give consent. One concept is that of the fully informed consent required for entering into binding contracts, etc. Another is that of simple willingness, i.e., does the boy “want to” do something that has no real consequences. There is no valid evidence that sexual exploration with another party has consequences other than those invented and imposed by society. Therefore there are no reasons why a boy cannot be willing, and thus give meaningful consent, to engage in such activities. [more] [Return to top of page]


    How long do sexually expressed relationships between boys and boylovers last?

    Research indicates that some 27% last for less than one year, 26% for one through two years, 25% for three through five years, 11% for greater than five years, and the rest for life. Generally speaking, in later adolescence these transition to a nonsexual adult friendship. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Are boylovers homosexuals?

    Homosexuality is a very muddled area, with a plethora of competing definitions. Some boylovers portray themselves as gay while others reject the label, and there are all sorts of qualifiers and variations in these self-descriptions. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Do boys who are sexually involved with older males become homosexuals?

    There is no credible evidence of any “cause and effect” between boyhood sexual explorations and adult homosexuality. Some of those who claim to be “gay” believe that they were aware of this supposed orientation in their boyhood, but this does not constitute causality. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Is boylove a mental illness?

    The medical community does not recognize or address boylove as such. “Pedophilia” at one time was specifically listed as a mental illness by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), but currently is in a sort of limbo. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Are all boylovers the same?

    There have been attempts to differentiate “types” of boylovers. One of these uses seven “classes” of “self-identified boy-attracted pedosexual males,” ranging from those who choose not to have sex with boys under any circumstances through those who will only engage in sex with the boy’s encouragement, through those who will unilaterally promote sex, and ending with those rare few who employ force to obtain sex. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Why are all incidents of sexually expressed boy/older male experiences reported in the media as “crimes?”

    Under the current statutes in most Western countries, every such experience, even if the boy insists that he consented to, encouraged, or even initiated it, is a criminal act on the part of the older partner. The media headlines this “vile crime,” thus adding to the public hysteria, encouraging more invasive enforcement and Draconian punishments, influencing legislation, and reinforcing the vicious circle. One of the frequent side effects is that in the vigorous efforts to convince the boy that he has been “harmed,” he is traumatized by his parents, the police, the judicial system, and the media, but then this trauma is blamed instead on the relationship. [more] [Return to top of page]


    Why do some websites and forums seem to address boy/older male sexuality in rather insensitive and offensive ways?

    The Internet tends to be populated by extroverts who sometimes use revolting and abrasive tactics to draw attention to their agendas, and this is no less true in the world of boylove. Keep in mind that those boylovers who participate on the Internet are a minuscule fraction of a percent of the above postulated seven million in the US alone. Beyond that, those who post grossly objectionable ideas and observations on boylove sites are at most a small portion of that minuscule fraction. So these “shock jocks” represent practically no one but themselves, and might be compared to street hoodlums who make obscene remarks to passing females. However, since most of these sites respect First Amendment rights, only those individuals who clearly violate the law are likely to be restricted. It is probable that the majority of boylovers would prefer that these effronteries not be permitted, but there is no practical way to prevent them from being posted. [more] [Return to top of page]

    Home Page




    Introduction to BoyLove:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    An Introduction to Boylove

    For a man or an older boy to come to terms with his sexual attraction to boys is often difficult – sometimes even traumatic. Most such males have an inner sense of their attractions from their teens or even earlier, but in today’s hysterical climate they tend to repress and deny their feelings. The path to self-acceptance varies among individuals; for a few it is short and straightforward, for others it can be long and complex, and for some it is a dead end. But for those who find their way to the light, the moment of self-understanding is only the beginning of the process of learning how to live in a hostile culture, and hopefully to finding fulfilling ways of interacting with the boys to whom they are attracted.

    Boylove is a two-way street. Research 1,2 indicates that, beginning in the vicinity of ages 8 to 12, boys go through a stage where their sexual interests are directed toward other males who are their own age, older, and sometimes younger. It is a part of the process of learning about and experiencing their intrinsic sexuality, has been present in every time and culture, and manifests itself openly in cultures where it is not repressed. Research 1,2,3 also indicate that some older boys and adult males have an understanding and empathy for the sexual experimentations and pleasure-seeking of boys, as well as a willingness and desire to join in their activities. Western victimological culture, however, claims either that boys do not have these interests, or that those who do are disturbed and/or delinquent. Older boys and men who cooperate with these seeking boys are seen as predatory psychopaths.

    Boylove has an ancient and honorable history. Mentoring with a sexual component was considered essential to a boy’s education in ancient Greece; the 19th century philosopher Schopenhauer 4 described boy/older male sexually expressed relationships as being of “universal nature and persistent ineradicability,” psychologist Wilhelm Stekel 5 called them “ubiquitous,” and psychiatrist Heinz Kohut 6 spoke of his consensual boyhood sexual experiences with his tutor. The current antipathy toward boylove is generally believed to have originated as part of the broad Judaist sexophobia which was hostile to the more open sexuality of other cultures. This was picked up by the fledgling Christian church, amplified as the church gained more and more power and influence, and codified by Augustine, bishop of Hippo, around 400CE. The rights of boys in Western cultures to free exploration and enjoyment of their own sexuality have been repressed to a greater or lesser degree ever since, as have the rights of older males to accept the overtures of boys.

    While all boylovers are boy-attracted pedosexual males, the reverse is not necessarily true. An extreme negative example of this is the occasional male who forces himself physically and sexually on an unwilling boy with only his own gratification in mind. At the other end of the spectrum are those who recognize their sexual attraction, but either because they have been brainwashed into believing that their attraction is “wrong,” or out of fear of the consequences, limit themselves to strictly platonic contact with boys, or even completely isolate themselves from boys. According to research 7, the majority of boylovers are spread out between these two extremes, with a plurality taking the position that they will not engage is sexual activity unless it is actively solicited or encouraged by the boy. It must be thoroughly understood, however, that such consensuality has no validity in the eyes of the law, and that any such acts that are discovered most likely will lead to jail.

    It is not unusual for boylovers to seek sexual satisfaction apart from boys. “Boy erotica” (which some call “child pornography”) is perhaps the most common of these substitutions, and is often used as a stimulus for masturbation. Once again, however, it must be emphasized that the downloading or possession of boy erotica is punishable by law in most jurisdictions, so the “sharing” of such materials is foolishly dangerous. Other outlets are the diverse forums and other Internet interactions in which elements of understanding, support, and counsel may – or may not – be present. Most of these stay within the limits of legality, but one must decide which – if any – of these fulfils his needs. Perhaps the ultimate form of support is the building of real life friendships with other males with similar attractions, but here, even more so than in any other venue, extreme caution is necessary. To associate with someone who commits illegal acts, and especially if you are solicited to participate in those acts, is very likely to lead to serious difficulties with the law.

    The life of the responsible boylover in our current hysterical society is, to say the least, difficult. Contacts with boys through sanctioned organizations such as Scouting, boys’ clubs, etc., are usually not a problem, but if a boy initiates a one-on-one association with an older male friend, discretion and wisdom are strongly advised in order to preclude any suspicions by those who may become aware of the friendship. Research statistics 8 show that there are many millions of men in the US alone who had such boyhood friendships that included a sexual component, most of which were “non-negative,” and of which apparently only a minuscule percentage were known to anyone other than the two participants. Boys need older male role models and friendships, and it is up to the responsible boylover who encounters a seeking boy to construct and conduct such a relationship – non-sexual or sexual – so that it is as free as possible from danger or harm, and is beneficial to both the boy and himself.


    Notes:

    (1) Sandfort, T. (1987). Boys on their contacts with men. Elmhurst, NY: Global Academic.

    (2) Wilson, P. (1981). The man they called a monster. North Melbourne, Australia: Cassell

    (3) Freund, K. (1970). The structure of erotic preferences in the nondeviant male. Behavior Research and Therapy, 8, 15-20.

    (4) Schopenhauer, A. (1819) Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung [The world as will and representation] pp. 560-567.

    (5) Stekel, W. (1922). Psychosexueller Infantilismus (German). English translation: Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism by Emil Gutheil (1952) New York: Liveright.

    (6) Strozier, C. (2001) The making of a psychoanalyst. New York: Farrar, Strauss, and Giroux.

    (7) Riegel, D. (2007). Motivational and Behavioral Characteristics of Boy-attracted Pedosexual Males. Downloaded December 20, 2008 from [http://www.mbcbpm.info – Dead Link]

    (8) Rind, B., Tromovitch, P., & Bauserman, R. (1998). A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 22-53.


    Home Page




    Responsible Boylove

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    Responsible boylove is the premise that in any relationship between a boy and an older male, whether sexually expressed or not, the legitimate interests of the boy must take precedence over the interests of his older friend.


    Responsible boylove is a relationship between a boy who has a desire for a close and intimate friendship with an older male, and an older boy or man whose love for that boy encompasses enjoyment of the boy’s companionship and a desire to provide a mentoring and nurturing environment. The nature, vitality, and duration of the relationship, as well as the extent of nurturing and mentoring, are determined by mutual consent, with the boy’s wishes taking precedence. The relationship also includes a definite pedosexual attraction on the part of the older, and may include a desire for sexual experimentation, exploration, play, and gratification on the part of the younger. It is, however, a fundamental tenet of responsible boylove that any physical expression of sexuality is only acceptable with the age appropriate understanding, encouragement, and consent of the boy involved. However, both parties must also carefully take into consideration that any such physical expressions, no matter how completely consensual, are considered a criminal act under the present legal systems in most of the world.


    Common misconceptions:

    Responsible boylove does not include, support, nor in any way condone non-consensual sexual activity. It does not try to excuse or justify such things as attempts to seduce an obviously unwilling boy, molestation, or predation in any form. Those who subscribe to the responsible model of boylove are as appalled by such crimes as anyone else; indeed, perhaps more so, because of their love for all boys, and the pain they feel when one of them is molested, raped, or murdered. The public and the media seem to know only one word when there is sexual contact between a boy and an older male, the ugly and pejorative label of “pedophile.” But the current use of that term is a total corruption of the original meaning, it is a malicious creation of misguided academics, radical religionists, malignant feminists, and prejudiced politicians, and as such is considered unacceptable by a large percentage of boylovers.


    The above statements were developed by the participants at SafeHaven by the dialectic process of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis, repeated over and over again for several years. It thus is not the work of any one person, but the distilled works of many.

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    IBLD Survey Results:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    International BoyLove Day!©

    Visitor Survey Results
    The following analyses are generated in real time, and
    are based on 891 responses, the last as of 017-12-6@0520

    How did you learn about IBLD? (Q1)

    From one of the boylove discussion forums 350
    From one of the forums which attack boylove and boylovers 64
    From Google or some other search engine 276
    From an acquaintance or colleague 46
    Other 155

    Gender of respondents (Q2)

    Male: 828 Female: 63

    Ages of respondents (Q3)

    Age group Under 15: 36 15 – 17: 93 18 – 21: 143
    22 – 24: 83 25 – 29: 85 30 – 34: 86 35 – 39: 65
    40 – 44: 92 45 – 49: 66 50 – 59: 87 60 or more: 55

    Race of respondents (Q4)

    White: 720 Black: 32 Asian: 33 Latino: 81 Other: 25

    Where do you currently live? (Q5)

    United States: 362 Canada: 50 United Kingdom: 84
    Holland: 24 Germany: 27 Scandanavia: 18
    Other European countries: 152 Asia: 30 Australia/NZ: 36
    Mexico, Central/South America: 52 Africa: 14 Other: 42

    Religion of respondents (Q6)

    Protestant: 132 Catholic: 164 Jewish: 31 Muslim: 19 Other: 147 None: 398

    To what extent do you participate in some form of organized religion? (Q7)

    I regularly attend services and/or religious programs 125
    I frequently attend services and/or religious programs 34
    I occasionally attend services and/or religious programs 102
    I rarely attend services or religious programs 189
    I have nothing to do with organized religion 441

    To what degree do your religious beliefs enter into
    your general attitudes and personal decisions? (Q8)

    Everything I do is influenced strongly by my particular religious beliefs 67
    My attitudes and decisions are frequently influenced by my particular religious beliefs 114
    My attitudes and decisions are occasionally influenced by my particular religious beliefs 114
    On rare occasions my decisions are influenced by religious beliefs 142
    Religious beliefs do not influence my decisions in any way 454

    How would you describe your political and social views? (Q9)

    Very conservative: 75 Mildly conservative: 64 Moderate: 151
    Mildly liberal: 115 Very liberal: 243 Libertarian: 100 Other: 143

    How many years of education have you completed,
    or, what is the highest degree you hold? (Q10)

    Less than 4: 20 | 4 through 8: 30 | 9 through 12: 116
    High school diploma, secondary certificate, or equivalent: 259
    13 through 16: 140 | Undergraduate degree: 183
    Master’s degree or equivalent: 117 | Doctorate or equivalent: 26

    Economic Status (Q11)

    Poverty: 66 Below average: 171 Average: 383 Comfortable: 255 Wealthy: 16

    Social Class (Q12)

    Lower: 63 Lower middle: 196 Middle: 462 Upper middle: 149 Upper: 21

    Marital Status (Q13)

    Single: 583 | Married or long term heterosexual relationship: 122 Long term homosexual relationship: 67 | Separated: 16 Divorced: 45 | Widowed: 19 | Other: 39

    Biological Children (Q14)

    None: 720 One: 49 Two: 64 Three: 32 Four or more: 26

    Preferences about the observation

    Day on which IBLD should be observed (Q15)

    On the first Saturday after the summer solstice(s) 181
    On the first Saturday after the summer solstice(s) except that if this falls on 24 or 25 December, then on the Saturday preceding that solstice. 47
    On the summer solstice itself 81
    Other (Please use comment box to describe) 28
    I have no preference 554

    Frequency with which IBLD should be observed (Q16)

    Once each year, on or near the summer solstice in the northern hemisphere 219
    Twice each year, on or near the summer solstice in the northern
    and southern hemispheres
    206
    Other (Please use comment box to describe) 55
    I have no preference 411

    Positions and Opinions

    Your interest in IBLD (Q17)

    I consider myself to be a boylover as defined in the questionnaire 407
    I feel that I am sexually attracted to prepubescent and/or adolescent boys 303
    I have no particular attraction to boys, but I would like to know more about these issues 79
    I have doubts about the validity of the concept of responsible boylove 58
    I am completely opposed to the idea of any sexual contact between boys and older males 44

    The age at which should boys have the
    right to express their own sexuality (Q18)

    Any*: 414 Less than six: 25 Six: 18 Seven: 27 Eight: 31
    Nine: 19 Ten: 46 Eleven: 21 Twelve: 108 Thirteen: 55
    Fourteen: 47 Fifteen: 26 Sixteen: 23 Seventeen: 6 18 or older: 25

    Any*: The rights of boys to express their own sexuality
    should not be based on chronological age.

    Effects on a boy of a consensual sexually expressed
    boyhoodrelationship with an older male that is NOT
    discovered and/or interfered with by parents or other adults (Q19)

    Such relationships are always positive and beneficial 161
    Such relationships are usually positive and beneficial 247
    Such relationships may be positive or negative depending on other factors 413
    Such relationships are usually negative and harmful 39
    Such relationships are always negative and harmful 27

    Comments (newest first) (Q20)

    017-10-6: The first saturday after either solstice is okay with me… but you might consider putting it near valentine’s day, considering the sexy popularity of cupid.

    017-3-22: couldn’t answer honestly at Q17… too paranoid to put where my true feeling lay [response 1]

    016-12-18: hi

    016-10-28: I’m hoping for a better future. I’m going to do all I can for boys, and I hope you will too. I live in the US and sometimes I get worried that people may never accept pederasts. It’s not looking too good here. Be safe everyone, and be careful.

    016-10-5: continue your mission

    016-9-25: I don’t often get a chance to go online. A rule imposed on me. I am afraid of getting caught but feel desperately alone and want someone to talk to that won’t try to put me back in jail if I say the wrong thing. “The truth”

    016-7-4: i dont know… but for me its a gift that we dont expect but it came only people judge people people create mistake with people aslong no harassment or what so ever…. we must be very thankful…

    016-3-10: Girls’ sexual rights are also important.

    015-12-21: I’m not a boylover, but I am indeed a peadophile and lolicon who’s mostly attracted to girls. I don’t have any blue candles, but to express my solidarity towards the community I decided to wear a lot of blue today, on the 21st of December. May the BoyLove and GirlLove communities grow strong! For the children!

    015-7-4: have

    015-6-25: Q 19 Undiscovered relationships of any kind are socially stressful. Hiding is not fun. I know this; I’ve been hiding my feelings for boys all my life.

    015-6-21: Thanks for being here

    015-5-19: I’m so happy, and amazed actually, that there were and are individuals who are courageous enough to initiate a global discussion to address and provide clarity on an issue that so many people see as the ultimate immoral act. It really is quite normal for a homosexual boy and even a heterosexual boy to intimately express and share feelings with an older man at some time in their developmental years. Hopefully, real progress can be made to de-stigmatize this special love that was pivotal in allowing me to come to terms with being gay and not feel as if I were’the only gay in the village”!

    015-3-15: I am going through the worst time in my life following my arrest for possession of boylover pornography

    015-1-31: >not listing communist as an option

    015-1-19: I am very pleased that a site such as this exists. Please keep up the positive work for the sake of boylovers in general.

    014-3-7: Its so difficult loving boys in a culture of hatred and jealous possession.

    014-1-26: I Like pedo

    013-12-22: Came here today in response to some discussion on youngcity. You can reach me there under the screen name joe654321.

    013-11-29: BL is a strong taboo in Flaners (since Dutroux affair)…

    013-11-13: Love, including boy love should never be a crime. Love is what humans do…sometimes well, sometimes badly.

    013-5-29: From my own personal experience, my first and best love of my life was with an older man. He treated me so kind and offered me a safe harbor to express my emotions without fear of reprisal. Now that I am older I see boys as very attractive and more passionate than women. Boys have responded to me in much the same way. In fact a lot of boys actually initiate a relationship. I.e. they make the first move. They want to be loved. They want to be loved by me. Somehow they see that I am a good, kind, and loving guy that is willing to give them the attention they deserve. I have fallen in love with one. We have been together for 3 years. We both have pledged to be together for the rest of our lives. I pledged my loyalty to him. I look forward to the day he is old enough to marry. We have already made wedding plans.

    013-4-17: sin comentarios

    013-3-19: I have a yf that I’m vary close to. I really want to teach him what it means to have someone like me in his life and, to teach him what true boy love is.

    013-3-13: I would not be who I am today if i was not loved from a man, or other boys my age for that mater when i was younger.

    012-12-11: im a prode boylover and will follow tradalion for life

    012-10-30: Just some contructive critisism – I like the site, but the design really needs some work if you want to be taken seriously.

    012-9-2: Many may wish to hear the view of boys who are a part of a BL/YF relationship, sexual or not. However the society we live in would put the relationship at risk even by simply allowing a boy to write something online. The protection, needs and understanding of the child always come first.

    012-8-5: Children (boys and girls) are brainwashed by being told sex is bad,so they feel bad when they do anything sexual. Sexual desires are just as normal as desire for food,sleep,ect.

    012-7-27: I am grateful to find this site. I hope you can explode with good things in the future. I wish all the best for any activism you engage in. I wonder, why not have a link to real stories from people who had these relationships/experiences?

    012-6-29: i want to explore a new world a deferent thing i live.

    012-6-23: I just wish people could calm down, and allow men who truly love boys, to love them and enjoy a wonderful relationship. As a man who loves boys dearly, the last thing I would want to do is harm a boy, or jeopordize the trust built in a relationship with a boy. I don’t ever want my love for boys (or a specific boy) to be perverted in the eyes and minds of others. While in the back of my mind, I am concious of the sexuality and sexual attractiveness of boys, I always keep it in perspective, and have never crossed any legal, moral, or spiritual boundries, yet believe they need to be relaxed.

    012-4-19: i have never seen a study on what the children actually want

    012-2-15: esencial essa perguntas

    012-2-9: It seems a pity that this survey relates more to IBLD and not the wider subject on a personal level as covered in D.L. Riegel’s book (2000; SFHP). There is a technical error in question 15 which detracts somewhat. As in most surveys, the questions do not go far enough. How can one progress the freedoms we seek in a world so full of hypocrisy and suspicion ?

    011-2-23: While I love boys and have mentored them for many, many years, none of my relationships have been physical. My love and respect for the boys were too great to risk the relationship, or hurt the boys by appearing to “take advantage” of them. I honestly don’t know how I would respond if one of my young friends would have initiated. I know boys are really sexual being, and I am very attracted to them, just being with a boy, spending time with him, investing in his life is enough for me. I have thought of a sexual relationship with a boy, but could never initiate it. I do think there is nothing wrong with consensual relationships, and honestly, maybe wished I could have been more intimate with a young boy, but could never start it. While I love boys of all ages, I find the 11-14 year age range most attractive sensually. While maybe I could have initiated such a relationsip with a boy, I just never wanted to take the chance, or risk what I had with the boys.

    010-12-4: I think this is a great idea we should be free to express our love for boys and stand untited in oue beleifs

    010-11-11: I really believe man/boy relationships have the same pros/cons and challenges as any other orientation. I will definitely be back to this site looking for updates/news and I will absolutely be using the symbolism of the candle/ribbon in my house and maybe a public display of sorts as described on the website!

    010-11-4: Hello, I comment about Q15&16 about the day of observance of IBLD. I’m conscious of beeing a boylover since several years and i observe the ibld since 3 or 4 years, yet i’m not convinced about the day of observance : indeed, whatever the day or days chosen, this (those) represent(s) nothing, it’s just a day like an other, about which we decided to observe as the IBLD, yet, i think a symbolic date would be preferable, like the Alice day for GLs : it’s the anniversary of the encounter between Lewis Caroll and Alice Lidell, the girl model for Alice in wonderland. I’m sure we can find such dates in the “BL history”, that are loaded with symbolic meaning. For an example, the date of the encounter beetwen the writer J.M Barrie and the sons of Sylvia Davies, the model boys for the Drama Peter Pan. I’ll continue to observe IBLD once a year, of the first saturday after the summer soltice, without beeing fully convinced. I’m sorry for my english, which is far from my native language, and thank you for reading ! Max

    010-9-26: Growing up i had several adults and teens, both men and woman have sexual experiences with me from 8 to 14 years old. Later when i was to old for them i was asked to baby sit there own kids. They needed a baby sitter who liked sexually active kids. This was all through high school.

    010-9-20: You are doing a great service to society. Thank you and don’t get discouraged. Boylove is a special love. We need more love in the world, not less.

    010-9-16: interesesante discusion

    010-7-25: thanks

    010-7-17: IBLD could be celebrated for a week in the summer. The date could be set to be an important date for boylovers such as a liberation event or a positive memory.

    010-6-24: Thanks for your project. The real problem is ignorance.

    010-6-23: As a “loved boy” myself, I can vouch for the positive benefits of a sexual relationship between an older man and a VERY young boy. An ex-Marine “found” me after my parents divorced, and not only taught me many valuable lessons about life, but also gave me a reason to keep living; I was 10yo when I first contemplated suicide, and this man’s love was the only thing that kept me alive. I graduated High School at 15yo, got my AA in Philosophy, and joined the Marine Corps (in the service of which I was disabled). I went on to provide a stable, positive influence in the lives of at least 4 other boys and intend to keep doing so for as long as I am allowed. Although I (as an adult) have never had a sexual relationship with a boy, I hold out the hope that I might one day be so blessed; in spite of several offers (a few of which were quite explicit, including a pretty 6yo boy named Julio, fear of discovery has prevented me from accepting. I have purposefully revealed my true self to only one person, but he (and his wife) have been nothing but supportive, and have told me they consider themselves truly blessed to have a boylover in their son’s life; right now he’s only 3yo, but they have told me in no uncertain terms that if he reciprocates my interest when he’s older (6yo+), they would consider it a positive relationship. Furthermore, I had an intense relationship with my cousin (who is 8 years younger than me) starting when I was 14yo, though it never went beyond touching. He is now 29yo and although he knows my orientation, he has never said anything to anyone, and has never tried to interfere with my relationship with his young nephews (also my cousins) who are now 5yo, 7yo, and 16yo. In many ways, I am incredibly lucky, especially considering I live in America.

    010-5-1: Would love to meet other Boy attracted males. Also to become more involved in the BL movement. I have had 30 years of totally healthy, positive, completely non physical, interactions with boys and fully know and appreciate the blessing the boys can be.

    010-1-25: I am very pleased to see such a rational, level headed approach to this topic being adopted by your organization. Hopefully it goes a long way to dispel the horrible myths surrounding responsible relationships with underage boys. Thank you.

    09-12-27: hug

    09-12-6: I was 13 when I first met a older man. He treated me with love and respect he never asked or forced me to do anything I felt unsure about. I believe his love and the way he treated me has helped me in my later life. I have never approached a boy of any age I look and apprciate fram afar. One day I hope to meet a boy who is willing to love me as I would love him and that does not have to be in a sexual way.

    09-9-13: I am not opposed to boylove, and I support it fully when it is conducted in a way that is consensual, loving and kind. I just wish that a lot of the boy lovers out there were able to present themselves in a better light. A lot of the reason for the bad press and hate for boylovers is because of the boy lovers themselves, not taking care to banish the idea of “scum bags” as being a part of a normal character description. If they were to present themselves as normal, family value, proud citizens it MIGHt be a bit eisier for the public to take. But you’ll never know till you try will you?

    09-9-7: I was very informative thanks.

    09-9-3: I commend you and all who are associated with your site and efforts. I found myself in total agreement with everything that was written on the FAQ page, which is unusual for me as I am quite a “nitpicker” on philosophical issues.

    09-7-29: I started out enjoying other boys when I was eight and always was attracted to older men as I grew up – but never had an older male friend other than neighbors or teachers or store owners who I admired and I had a 17 yr old become my friend for a year and a half (he started the concenusal friendship at church) me being his mentor and taking him to work and picking him up late at night and we remained friends until he turned 27 and I helped him get married to one of of his girlfriends, I’ve always wanted a son to be under my care and he made me feel like a “brother/father” figure even though he had a father and a mother who lived in two different households he’d visit back and forth along with his siblings who he helped his mother take care of – we even worked together at the same company for a few months and mainted a big brother/younger brother relationship and he was a good friend of mine. Thanks for letting me respond

    09-7-19: I grew up with a love for boys, but always thought I was sick. Because of this teaching I chose to abuse some boys as a way to overcome this sickness. It did not work! I went to prison and opted for a treatment program that was offered to me. In the four years of treatment I came to realize that I did hurt many people. I regret those choices, and I will regret them for the rest of my life. Now that I am beyond treatment I still want to learn and grow. I have discovered boylove and realize that if I were taught that at a young age and allowed to experience it as part of my life I may not have chosen to do the things I did. Now, I never harmed any boy that I took advantage of, but I took what I wanted without permission. Not intending to excuse my actions and choices, but In a different time I would not have had to make that choice. Thank You For Listening, Thisisme.

    09-6-4: I’m a 19 years old boy, and I love a boy who is 15 years old, he is here with me writing this. I have no idea why our relationship its ilegal but it is, I love him he loves me our parent understand us. Where is the matter? I think the sociecity sould think about there is two things very diferents, one of them are abuse, thats bad, it sould not exist, everybody agree but mutual love in diferents ages are not abuse is love!!. people is confuse at this things. and I want to add another point, efebophilia and pedophilia its not the same, and pedophilia and pederast either. all our support, thank you

    09-5-12: i was in a man boy sexual relationship when i was about 7 years of age till around 14. i enjoyed the attention the lessons learned about sex my body ect, i feel had a great outcome on me..

    09-4-29: In these days of “guilt by accusation”, we must all stand together!

    09-4-14: Good site, admin.

    09-4-9: Providing the boy is treated with love as i was

    09-4-8: Must have: ,

    09-3-6: IBLD should be celebrated once per year during the spring time, northern hemisphere. Thank you for this nice survey.

    09-3-2: Me encanta esta pagina y la marvillosa labor que promueven. Totalmente interesado en unirme se hubiera en Venezuela;)

    09-2-27: boylove day should occur during the summer sometime

    09-2-13: for question no 17 there should be another option – none were quite appropriate for me. i am a female visitor to this website and am interested in /open to the concept of resposible boylove as part of the wider concept of breaking the unconcious restrictions imposed upon our self realisation by society’s taboos.

    09-1-12: long live boylove

    08-12-26: Boylove should be observed everyday.

    08-11-25: thank you.

    08-11-3: Thank you to those that have kept this site running. I use the “Note” under observance as an ice breaker to non-BLs as to what and who I am. Very well written.

    08-10-14: i hope this kind of forum proves to be beneficial in the future

    08-10-11: I haven’t had a chance to read around the site yet, but it looks like it contains some good information. I’m definitely an advocate of free sexual expression, regardless of age or gender. I can’t wait to find out more about this site!!

    08-9-23: EmBlx4 Hello I am Russo

    08-9-9: felicidades…

    08-9-1: I believe boys are beautiful gifts from God that are meant to be treasured, respected, admired and adored. A relationship between preteen boys and men should be of mutual respect.

    08-8-18: People often fear what they dont understand and find it easy to attack than to take the time to ask the right questions they believe that children cannot make decisions they bang on about their innocence yet they force them to grow up then complain when it comes to sexual contact with anyone

    08-8-3: thanks for people like us

    08-7-28: me encanta esta pagina

    08-7-5: Welcome friends! ,

    08-7-1: I think relations between adolescents and older persons can be acceptable if the minor is agree with that. I also think that an adolescent and more a child in many times is not sure about that and can accept and not want really. The adults are responsable with his lifes, minors not. So, this isn’t about opinions, is about practical uses. A minor is not sure about him, so I think adults maybe wait to minors are adults like him.

    08-6-25: I’ve marked questions 15 and 16 as “I have no preference” because they are required in order to submit my answers, but I think these two should have another option like “I don’t know” or “I disagree/am not intereseted with/in the observation of the ILBD”

    08-6-24: I have too many doubts about how to distinguish love from obsession o simple vice, minimum ages in childs looks to me an imposible discussion… I think that the possibility of error or harm to the boys/girls is too high to protect them making it illegal. Essentially, I can’t agree with making the IBLD legal and accepted. Is something that only under very specific circumstances could be acceptable.

    08-6-22: muy bien

    08-6-15: I dont want to be judged so i dont judge

    08-6-15: as long as there is no pain or suffering involved it should be seen as a type of mentoring.sex betweeen a boy and an adult can be a very pleasent experance.

    08-6-13: Let justice prevail – children have rights to sex, period.

    08-6-5: This is my first year celebrating IBLD. I will light a blue candle for a boy I know, hoping that he will become a man I know in years to come. I do this also to remind me to be a strong and true boylover. 🙂

    08-5-30: All this is fine but where is the organization to fight against the witch hunt, expose the many criminal acts of the NGO parasites as well as the UN? Where is the political movement to at least get the age realistically lowered to 16 without fear of criminal repercussions. Truthfully most everyone including this writer is a cowered and that is where the NGO and US and principally English speaking governments are winning the war of hysteria.

    08-5-5: I wish we had a stronger movement to educate and inform the public about the fact we are all sexual beings regardless of age. Informed, consentual relationships between boys and older males should not be a crime. It should be celebrated. Society’s negativity toward boylove is doing the most damage to boys, because it tells them they must be ashamed of their sexuality. This creates many problems in adulthood.

    08-2-27: Which day IBLD: the next saterday after the birthday of the UN Declaration for the Child Rights.

    08-2-1: The day should be located so that it does not happend during any national holiday so one can spend time with YF / AF on that day.

    08-1-8: Your form only addresses “religion” (organized)… I am a very spiritual person who has his own daily practice… but this did not fit into your form options. Spirituality is typically not like any religions.

    07-12-27: I think we all need our voice heard and freedom to be who we are. We have a long way to go but so thankful stuff like IBLD is around.

    07-12-24: Suggest IBLD be celebrated twice a year, on or near the summer and winter solstices of both hemispheres. Keep up the good work! maybe one day common sense will prevail and finally put an end to the anti BL hysteria witch hunts.

    07-12-19: It doesn’t matter to me what day we celebrate IBLD (though it should be at least once a year). I am glad someone took the initiative to start and keep IBLD going, it is an important part of our community, a way for us to celebrate who we are on one day together though separate geographically together in more important ways.

    07-12-8: I believe IBLD should be recognized on a certain day once each year (Ex. 22nd of June). not the complicated system that it is now. I dont mean to sound dumb, but i’m not even sure what the Solstice is to figure out when IBLD is each half year.

    07-11-22: I attended the IBLD gathering in Amsterdam in 2006 and it was incredible to be surrounded by so many like-minded people, kind-of like it felt when I thought I was just gay and went to a gay youth meeting in college. I really would like to see us do something like that in the US. I might even travel across the country to participate, if necessary. Like most of us, I am deathly afraid of being discovered publicly in this orientation, but I would take a chance of that discovery in order to join such a mass gathering in my own country. Thank you to the organizers for this site and for keeping IBLD burning bright.

    07-11-17: None, thank you.

    07-10-18: Keep up the good work

    07-9-4: We live in the mccarthist era of sex: sex is bad, sex is dirty. The present world hysteria emanates, as many fads have in the past, from the US. Sadly.

    07-8-15: good

    07-7-20: it is a good cause

    07-7-10: Consensual sex is OK as long as there is no discomfort for the boy involved.

    07-6-28: I have known of boys who had consensual sex at 9 or 10 and it was a positive thing, but I also have know ones who were permanently scarred by it.

    07-6-26: I believe IBLD should have only a set week during which it takes place, and use which ever days we have available to celebrate it (weekends for most, sickdays, or vacation, depending on when this would be set).

    07-6-25: as i answered other above, i think ibld should be celibrated 4 or more times a year…..at or around the start of each season!!!!!

    07-6-24: people like us should have our own rights movement. it has been perfectly normal for men and teenagers to have loving, sexual relationships with young boys since the time of the ancient roman empire. it should be illegal for social taboos and religion to influence national laws. i am a 16 year old male who is sexually attracted to preteen (and early teen) boys and i’m not ashamed to admit it.

    07-6-18: As regards Q18 above,I believe that only at 12 are boys really fully able to understand sexuality.

    07-6-17: No tengo comentarios que hacer exepto que me parece una buena idea eso del día internacional del amor boylover.

    07-6-14: Personally, I celebrate on the first day of Spring and whenever there’s a GLBT pride day, albeit discreetly. I have chosen to remain celebate most of my adult life, because the last thing I want to do is bring harm, shame, or negative consequences on any boy, nor could I handle the legal system myself. However, I am 100% BL and have been since I was an adolescent, and I am old enough now (early 30’s) to know that this is my sexual orientation and it’s not going to change (zeus knows, I’ve tried). I feel so bad for kids these days. They have no freedom whatsoever. They must bear constantly their parent’s paranoia and be repositories for their shame. No wonder they end up homicidal. I sure had my share of shame growing up and I haven’t gotten over it yet. Shame is the enemy. It is what causes people like me to end objectifying boys instead of caring for them. It is what causes parents to treat their kids like property instead of people. Luckily, the metaverse has provided a backdoor: my soul is our soul is the world’s soul is the boy’s soul. If we are aligned within ourselves and the cosmos, we need not rely on physicality to be consumate with our Beloveds. And that is what I shall celebrate on the 23rd!

    07-6-14: In addition to Q19, as a teacher any close relationships with pupils is strictly forbidden. Also being heavily involved with the church any relationships between adults and children are closely observed. I beleive before any sexual relationship with a child under the age of consent can take place, the child must always make the choice whether the relationship should develop sexually and the adult should have self restrait if they really love the child. No self-respecting boylover would take photographs of themselves and the child engaged in sexual acts and certainly not share them with others. As I can only see that this course of action could only damage the relationship between the boy and the adult should the pictures or videos ever come into the public view. The act of sexual expression should be a way in which the child and the adult show how much they love each other and want to make each other feel special. Some relationship do not need sex for that to be true. Other relationship fail even without sex because the child’s loyalties lay elsewhere, i.e. with their parents. In my teaching career I have had both girls and boys who have wanted a hug from me from ages 4 through to 11 years of age. Which I think is positive because the child wants that, and is taking control of their own actions and feelings. I have learnt to set boundaries and I never put myself in a position where I am alone with a child with a door closed and most private conversations take place in corridors and assembly halls where other members of staff and children can easily access. They can see that a private conversation is in progress and most onoccasions our conversations are treated respectfully and not interupted. Over the years many boys have had a special place in my heart and I am sure many more will. Only on two occasions has the relationship become close sex and both boys were very aware of their bodies, their emotions and their love for me. Each one was hurting inside and found acceptance from me. Both boys left their schools, one when it was time to leave, the over a year early so I will never know how things could have developed. Obviously, if they still love me, when they are old enough in the eyes of the law they may try to find me. It will only be a few short years away. I hope they do. If they do not it won’t stop me from loving others in just the same way. With or without a sexual relationship.

    07-6-13: It’s a prayer for the webmaster. The Italian authorities have obliged all ISP to fork the DNS for this website. Actually, ibld.net don’t exist for Italian DNS (now I’m using TOR). PLEASE contact IANA & ICANN for proposing a penalty for Italian ISP and Italian authorities until they will leave the block. I know. Mine is a very bad country. And I’ve shame of my country. Sorry for my bad English. Plase continue with this battle for our right, I hope one day will be capable of modify actual laws. With love. An Italian BL, loving and celebrating IBLD (Sorry again if I dont tell you my name!).

    07-6-13: In Q18 you should add “with older men”; in this case my answer is “18 or older”, otherwise. Otherwise the question is misleading. A few issues emerge here… – the problem is not limiting “sexual freedom”, but the difference in age and the quality of the (power)/relationship that follows; – “how much can I trust a 50yrs. old guy who wants to have sex with my 14 yrs. old son”. – culture plays a big role here and so there are huge differences from country to country. Howevere, regardless of those differences, our central concern should be only providing a safe and respectfull environment to our sons and daughters. Note: This comment fails to deal with the issue of the 14-year-old boy who wants to explore sex with an older male.

    07-6-13: Im 16 and i have a boyfriend who is 12 its not wrong we love each other.

    07-6-11: The boy love day should never be celebrated. S.Valentine’s feast is a love generic feast in which (imho) we also celebrate the boy love. I maybe have a personal idea about it when i look at a 21-22 years old girl. But people around the world think you are child raper, and i hope your aim is to show the real difference between those monsters and a pure love between two people with a very different age. Please always respect the laws of your country about minor love, don’t cheat you lovely next with your age, indipendence, libertinism. You are innocent as long as you love, deeply. If your partner is 13 yo and you are 35, your love for him will surely tell you that you can wait to have joyful and LEGAL sex together. Note: This comment is from Italy, where sex is legal at age 14. In other parts of the world, this age can be as high as 18.

    07-6-9: I am completely opposed to the idea of any sexual contact between boys and older males.

    07-6-8: I’d just like to repeat one of the comments from another visitor: “There should be a boylover’s “Prime Directive” which discourages any initiation of sexual contact by the older person.”

    07-6-7: I am glad you have made this site. If not for this site I would not of know about IBLD Thank you so much. I love you for that.

    07-6-5: For Q 15 & 16, I’m not sure when IBLD should be, but I’m glad it exists. For Q 17, I don’t know if I’m a boylover, but I like some boys very much. While I don’t believe sexual attraction is the main reason for my interest in IBLD, the 2nd answer seems to be the most accurate for me.

    07-6-5: I endorse and support all efforts to educate the public about the positive and beautiful elements of boylove and/or pedophilia

    07-6-3: Where can I buy the tee-shirts with the triangle logo to wear on International Boy Love Day? (from IBLD Host: Nowhere that I am aware of)

    07-6-3: Thank you for allowing me to answer the survey.

    07-5-11: I congratulate you and your efforts to talk among us boylovers.I am from Europe and had also some legal problems,having something with 17-18 y/o’s,and they were willing to do it… But surely, media called me a pedophille.The case is still not over,the Supreme Court is considering my appeal.

    07-2-8: We should promote responsibility and awareness. Parents need to re-examine their thoughts.

    07-2-8: I feel that if there was not such a negative persona on boylove, then child and adult could live and love to the best benifit of BOTH. A boylover can love with out hurt be it physical or mental.

    07-1-3: hmm..have had some realationships with younger boys and have found that it can be a learning experience for both parties…those being benifictal.

    06-12-26: How often should IBLD be observed? Historically, I recall it being observed twice a year. The very first time, durring the winter of 99, I believe. I always thought this was a bit strange, and that there should only be one IBLD, but, this does not stop us from having a second day, in which we also observe and celebrate boylove. In my opinion, neither day of observation should be discarded, but instead, we should choose one as a different commemoration, and it should still be related to the man/boy love community. Just my randome thoughts on the issue, but perhaps, one of these days could be dedicated to the practice of charity, giving and doing for others.

    06-12-18: I really think that sex with kids with their consentement is o.k,but when the law is involved,both the child and his adult lover will suffer fo the rest of they life

    06-12-8: I have an adult friend who says he is a boy lover. He helps me with my homework and stuff like that, and he sometimes kisses me and stuff like that. He told me about this page.

    06-12-3: I wish to know why are people so hostile towards as, even very intelligent people refuse to make difference between raper and lover. It just doesn’t make sense! Is really the religion responsible of most suffering on earth?

    06-10-30: I wish I could be a male boylover rather than a female one, if that is possible (?). I don’t really know, except that I am attracted to prepub. boys.

    06-10-4: IBLD shouldn’t be based on any solstice but on a day that distinguishes man/boy relationships as genuine & positive! This day could be the 1st day of spring or feb 12th Abe Lincolns BD!

    06-9-12: I totally support the movement … and the right of a young person to determine his sexuality … by refusing him that right, we suppress his growth and the natural law …

    06-7-26: Hoping to stop child pornography as soon as possible, let God blesses all of us, seekers of a better world for our little friends. Lots of love from marco.

    06-7-1: I believe the AoC should stay the way it is. I have been in relationships since I was 13 when the male was alot older. It has harmed me more than helped me. I was not ready for that degree of anything, much less sex. I lost all value on myself as well as respect.

    06-6-19: Question 15: summer and winter solstices.

    06-6-16: I don’t really believe in “AoC” but realistically I think we need one. 10 is just what I personally find a good age of consent but mostly for aburtrary reasons and could be debated.

    06-5-28: My son is 18 and his boyfriend is 30. He’s a wonderful man and a positive influence on my son… and my family loves him. Our situation is positive.. and we’re a very open minded family.. it’s sad that there are so many negative minded people out there still unfortunately.

    06-3-22: It´s important that we are organized.

    06-2-14: IBLD should be on 18 Decemre, once per year.

    06-2-1: Boylove is a metaphor which we define, not the other way around. I love boys holistically and find any interactions with them mutually benificial and fun. I don’t want to fight people about this. I WILL be who I am – and you may never know me. The world should not put love to waste.

    06-1-3: I think in this ever changing world, “we” must open our thinking from the traditional values and embrase the “real world” and the effect it is having on Children. There is no “normal” anymore and this must confuse any child. Bringing issues to the fore and allowing expression is on the whole, healthy. Unfortunitly there are those in the community that take advantage of for their own gain, distroying the whole image. I can not wrap my mind around same sex couples marrying as yet, nor do I tolerate abuse of young children. I think however we have to open the eyes of the world and change the way we think about ourselves. I hope this makes some sense.

    05-12-23: The saturday or sunday closest to the solstice (summer and winter)

    05-12-22: In great absence of a real loved boy in my RL, it’s hard for me to celebrate IBLD sometime.

    05-10-22: Boys should have the freedom to decide what is he into. That is he should not be forced 2 be a hetrosexual always if he is gay let him b gay dont bother him .

    05-10-3: Usually boys and their potential lovers are deterred by the law, so the relationship becomes quite angst-laden. I had a 16 jear old BF a long while ago (I was 20) he was like an 18-year old. Sadly I lost contact when he said his mother was questioning him and I’d better keep a low profile. When I wanted to see him again on his 18th Birthday I found the family had vanished…

    05-9-24: i am trying to keep an open mind about all of this stuff, and i try to be not judgemental

    05-9-21: Thank GOODNESS for boys!

    05-9-20: I strongly believe that consensual sex is good, regardless the age of the persons.

    05-9-16: I was rased in a sexualy open famley and enjoyed bein nude and sexualy active

    05-9-12: The greater public must be made aware that sexuality is not juast a scale between homophile and heterophile – with all other deviations being classified as a fetish -. General sexuality also falls under the heading of Infantphile, Paedophile, Ephebeophile, Androphile and Gerontophile. Just as there are degrees beween homophile and heterophile so too are there degrees between these other categories. To know this is to suddenly be aware that HUMANITY is more diverse and that boylovers do have a place in the world. WE must educate.

    05-9-8: I enjoyed your questionnaire,and believe in your quest totally as I’m a boylover and enjoy being one.

    05-8-16: im not sure but not all the people who considers themself as boylovers, are really protecting those boys, im dissapointed due of some things that im discovering, the boys doesnt know about sexuality sometimes, they have to discover it themselfs and not being introducted by adults or even worst, by old adults.

    05-8-2: There should be a boylover’s “Prime Directive” which discourages any initiation of sexual contact by the older person.

    05-7-23: Boys are wonderful wells of energy and enthusiasm.They have a fresh and unprejudiced view of life and natural intuition about joy.

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    A sample note to leave with a candle.

    This candle, like others all over the world, was placed here by a man who has volunteered his time for youth organizations, spent time mentoring and teaching boys values, and who was there for the difficult questions of growing up. Or by a man who would gladly do these things if he were permitted. By a boylover.

    You know me. I had many names in ancient Greece, when boylove flourished while the foundations for a free and democratic society were first being fashioned. I have existed in every society since, usually in a place of acceptance, sometimes even in a place of honor. Today I may be your coworker, your neighbor, perhaps your personal friend.

    I am a boylover. I am not a molester, an abuser, or a rapist who forces boys to submit to his physical lust. These are the false images that the media would have you believe about boylovers, but these are not me. I love boys as I love life itself, and would never hurt a boy or force him to do anything not of his own choosing.

    But there is a sickness sweeping the world, a madness that has grotesquely distorted the love and caring for boys that I was born with into something criminal and repugnant. For decades now, I, and countless others like me, have quietly endured persecution and lived hidden lives. But we no longer will be silent, we will not allow lies and hysteria to define who we are, at long last we will speak for ourselves.

    This candle is my voice as we celebrate this special day. To find out more about this observance, and what I believe, take your computer to [http://www.ibld.net].

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    Are boylove and pedophilia the same thing?:

    When considering all the widely diverse elements that are indiscriminately lumped together under the heading of pedophilia, one is prone to think of the tongue-in-cheek description of a camel as a racehorse designed by a committee. In the jargon which currently seems to be in vogue, I would like to “deconstruct” that camel and examine both its components and its creators, i.e., those like Finkelhor (1981) who originated victimological theory and the basis for the “child sex abuse industry.”

    First, even the word itself is corrupted and misused. “Pedophilia” (or “paedophilia” if one happens to be under the spell of the Queen’s English), comes from the Greek pais (child or youth, not gender specific, the combining form is paedo or pedo ) and philia (friendly love or affection – it would be eros if it meant physical or sexual love). So pedophilia is by etymology the non-sexual love of a child or youth – not sexual lust after a minor, as it has been corrupted in today’s usage. Every parent, grandparent, uncle, and aunt is – or at least should be – a pedophile.

    The above is excerpted from Pedophilia, Pejoration, and Prejudice: Inquiry by Insinuation, Argument by Accusation, which was published in 2005 by Sexuality & Culture.

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    How many boylovers are there?:

    Dr. Kurt Freund, using the plethysmograph, a device for measuring sexual arousal by changes in the volume of the penis, tested a group of young adult male soldiers while they were shown nude pictures of male and female children, adolescents, and adults. His results, presented in a graph, indicate that some 20 to 30% of the subjects were aroused by pictures of male children and adolescents.

    Freund, K. (1970). The Structure of Erotic Preferences in the Nondeviant Male. Behavior Research and Therapy, 8, 15-20.

    Dr. Bruce Rind and his associates performed a meta-analysis of a large group of previous investigations involving college students, and determined that some 17% of male subjects reported boyhood sexual experiences with one or more older persons, most of whom, while not quantified, were male.

    Rind, B., Tromovitch, P., & Bauserman, R. (1998). A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse using college samples. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 22-53.

    US census estimates for 2009 for males 15 and over is a nearly 120 million, and multiplying that by the above 17% produces a figure of over 20 million.

    There are no published data on the number of boys with whom sexually active boylovers typically have contact, but interpolating the tabulated data from one unpublished Internet study of 517 self-identified boy-attracted pedosexual males indicates that the ratio is in the vicinity of three, which yields an approximation of nearly seven million boylovers in the US.

    Motivational and Behavioral Characteristics of Boy-attracted Pedosexual Males

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    Do all relationships between boys and boylovers involve sex?:

    Most research is conducted with prison or clinical populations which are no in any way representative of the vast majority of boylovers. One study attempted to survey non-prison/non-clinical self-identified boy-attracted pedosexual males through the Internet, and received 517 responses. These respondents’ own self classification, as of ages 18 through 21, showed that 33.4% did not, for various reasons, engage in sex with boys. Another 49.3% would only consider sexual activities if the boy plainly encouraged them, while only 17.3% promoted such acts themselves. Only 0.2% said they would use force, and after age 21 that percentage dropped to zero.

    These figure are taken from Table 2 on page 7 of Motivational and Behavioral Characteristics of Boy-attracted Pedosexual Males.

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    Are boys psychologically harmed by sexually expressed relationship with older males?:

    A cardinal assumption of victimological dogma is that sexual contact between a boy and an older male causes psychological harm that is pervasive and intense. If a boy is forced to do something he does not want to do, it seems reasonable that harm would ensue. But there are many studies that document willing participation, a lack of such harm, and/or positive benefits. Here are a few:

    Bender, L. & Blau, A. (1937). The reaction of children to sexual relations with adults. Am. J. Orthopsychiatry, 7, 500-518.

    Bernard, F. (1981). Pedophilia: Psychological Consequences for the Child. In L. Constantine & F. Martinson (Eds.) Children and Sex: New Findings, New Perspectives. Boston: Little-Brown

    Constantine, L. (1981). The Effects of Early Sexual Experiences. In L. Constantine & F. Martinson (Eds.) Children and Sex: New Findings, New Perspectives. Boston: Little-Brown.

    Gebhard, P., Gagnon, J., Pomeroy, W., & Christenson, C. (1965). Sex offenders: An analysis of types. New York: Harper & Row.

    Ingram, M. (1981). Participating victims: A study of sexual offenses with boys. In L. L. Constantine, and F. M. Martinson (Eds.) Children and sex. Boston: Little, Brown, 177-187.

    Lautmann, R. (1994). Die Lust am Kind [Attraction to children]. Hamburg: Ingrid Klein Pubs. Inc.

    Okami, P. (1991). Self-Reports of “Positive” Childhood and Adolescent Sexual Contacts with Older Persons: An Exploratory Study. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 20(5), 437-457.

    Rind, B., Tromovitch, P., Bauserman, R. (1998) A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse using college samples. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 22-53.

    Rossman, P. (1976). Sexual Experiences between Men and Boys. London: Maurice Temple Smith.

    Sandfort, T. (1987). Boys on their Contacts with Men. Elmhurst, NY: Global Academic Press.

    Tindall, R. (1978). The male adolescent involved with a pederast becomes an adult. Journal of Homosexuality, 3, 373-382.

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    Is a prepubescent boy capable of enjoying sex?:

    There are few who still try to cling to the childhood “sexual latency” theory that Freud endorsed. Erections have been observed in utero, boys are sometimes born with erections, and most caregivers have observed erections while changing a diaper. The predisposition of very young boys to openly “play with themselves” until they are shamed or punished into keeping their activities hidden from authority figures is indisputable. The simple fact is that when stimulated, even a prepubertal boy’s penis provides him with pleasurable sensations, and he is unlikely to be dissuaded from enjoying these pleasures, at least alone and in private.

    As boys develop more independence, most will explore these genital pleasures with peers, and perhaps with older and/or younger persons, finding that the enjoyment is enhanced when it is shared. This can start very early, and tends to increase in intensity as the boy approaches and enters puberty. Wilson (1981) noted that “Young boys are sexually active from a very early age and will pursue their sexuality whenever they can find an opportunity to do so.” (p. 134). While these liaisons typically involve other males early on, in mid to late adolescence they usually begin to shift toward females, and only rarely does attraction to peer or older males continue into adulthood.

    Here are a few of the many studies that have been made of these issues: Bender, L. & Blau, A. (1937). The reaction of children to sexual relations with adults. Am. J. Orthopsychiatry, 7, 500-518.

    Constantine, L. (1981). The Effects of Early Sexual Experiences. In L. Constantine & F. Martinson (Eds.) Children and Sex: New Findings, New Perspectives. Boston: Little-Brown.

    Okami, P. (1991). Self-Reports of “Positive” Childhood and Adolescent Sexual Contacts with Older Persons: An Exploratory Study. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 20(5), 437-457.

    Sandfort, T. (1987). Boys on their Contacts with Men. Elmhurst, NY: Global Academic Press.

    Tindall, R. H. (1978). The male adolescent involved with a pederast becomes an adult. Journal of Homosexuality, 3(4), 373-382.

    Vanggaard, T. (1969). Phallos. New York: International Universities.

    Wilson, P. (1981). The man they called a monster. North Melbourne, Australia: Cassell.

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    Can boys consent to sex?:

    The denial of the right of a boy to consent to sexual interactions with other people, and especially with those older than himself, is foundational to victimology and the child sexual abuse industry; their entire house of cards comes crashing down if it becomes recognized that boys do, in fact, possess the innate ability to make choices and give consent to these activities. In order to prop up their dogma, “Priests, doctors, psychiatrists, and others have invested sex with magical powers …” (Wilson, 1981, p. 129), and these paranormal qualities are claimed to be beyond the abilities of boys to comprehend, thereby negating any willingness the boys have to participate.

    Wilson further noted that boys “saw sex as being no more than just a game… .” (ibid., p130), a point made by Sandfort (1984) and numerous other authors. The supposed drastic consequences of boyhood sexual encounters are not intrinsic to human nature, but are artificial cultural constructs of primarily Western origin, as is demonstrated by the benignity assumed by cultures which have not been corrupted by Western influence (Murray, 2002).

    Boys’ capacity to consent is presented as an accomplished fact by Bender & Blau (1937), Weiss et al. (1955), Sandfort (1987), and supported by the research of Waber et al. (2007), as well as by the American Psychological Association (1989) and many others. Boys are legitimate and sentient human beings with their own intrinsic sexuality, and are entitled by their very humanity to have their rights to their own sexuality recognized and respected by both academia and society.

    Here are a few of the many studies that are relevant to these issues:

    American Psychological Association (1989) Amicus curiae brief to the United States Supreme Court, Nos. 88-805, 88-1125, and 88-1309.

    Bender, L. & Blau, A. (1937). The reaction of children to sexual relations with adults. Am. J. Orthopsychiatry, 7, 500-518.

    Murray, S. (2002) Homosexualities. Chicago: University of Chicago.

    Sandfort, T. (1987). Boys on their Contacts with Men. Elmhurst, NY: Global Academic Press.

    Waber, D., De Moor, C., Forbes, P., Almli, C., Botteron, K., Leonard, G., Milovan, D., Paus, T., Rumsey, J. (2007) The NIH MRI study of normal brain development. Journal of the International Neuropsychological Society 13 pp. 1-18.

    Wilson, P. (1981). The man they called a monster. North Melbourne, Australia: Cassell.

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    How long do sexually expressed relationships between boys and boylovers last?:

    There has been relatively little research into the duration of sexually expressed relationships between boys and older males. Three of these are:

    Okami, P. (1997). Sexual Experiences in Early Childhood: 18-Year Longitudinal Data from the UCLA Family Lifestyles Project. Journal of Sex Research, 34(4), 339-347.

    Riegel, D. (2009) Boyhood Sexual Experiences with Older Males: Using the Internet for Behavioral Research. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 38 (5). This paper is the source of the data on the main page.

    Tindall, R. H. (1978) The male adolescent involved with a pederast becomes an adult. Journal of Homosexuality, 3(4), 373-382.

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    Are boylovers homosexuals?:

    Adult male homosexuality is very much present today, although fifty years ago it was much less visible, and a century ago it was rare. This raises the question as to where all these “gays” suddenly came from, although some will make the unsupportable claim that they were always there, but in hiding. Unlike reproductive heterosexuality and boy/older male mentoring relationships with a sexual component, adult male homosexuality lacks a genuine history and contributes nothing of obvious value to society. From an evolutionary perspective, such a lack of utility would seem to indicate that it should have been selected against and long since been eliminated from the gene pool. One possibility is that adult male homosexuality is in reality a longitudinally displaced and substitutionary form of sexually expressed boy/older male relationships, a metamorphosis generated by the extreme societal repression and demonization of boy/older male relationships. In this scenario, homosexuals are really only unfulfilled loved boys or frustrated boylovers, and the question of whether boylovers are homosexuals becomes one of semantics.

    From a political point of view, however, homosexuals have separated themselves from boylovers in order to improve their public perception, and a large but indeterminate percentage of boylovers do not identify as homosexual.

    These issues are discussed in depth in Plato’s Shadow: The relationship of adult male homosexuality to boylove.

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    Do boys who are sexually involved with older males become homosexuals?:

    The unsubstantiated assumption that such experiences will “cause” boys to become homosexual is a favorite tactical claim of those who would prevent boys from exploring their own sexuality with other males. There are no valid empirical data to support this conjecture, but it continues to resurface.

    As discussed in the [more] supplement to the previous question, it is possible that some small fraction of adult male so-called homosexuals are really only unfulfilled loved boys, the end result of having their boyhood explorations frustrated. The average of three studies (see below) which looked at the percentage of self-identified gay males who reported boyhood sexual encounters with older males was about 20%, but this is only correlation, and should not be misinterpreted as causation. The reality is that the overwhelming majority of males who had a boyhood sexual relationship with an older male develop an exclusively heterosexual adult life.

    These issues are discussed in more detail in Plato’s Shadow: The relationship of adult male homosexuality to boylove.

    References:

    Arreola, S., Neilands, T,, Pollack, L., Paul, J., & Catania. J. (2008). Childhood sexual experiences and adult health sequelae among gay and bisexual men: defining childhood sexual abuse. Journal of Sex Research 45(3), 246-252.

    Rind, B. (2001). Gay and bisexual boys’ experiences with men: An empirical examination of psychological correlates in a nonclinical sample. Archives of Sexual Behavior 30 (4) 345-368.

    Stanley, J., Bartholomew, K., & Oram, D. (2004) Gay and bisexual men’s age-discrepant childhood sexual experiences. Journal of Sex Research 41(4,)381-389.

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    Is boylove a mental illness?:

    The social sciences, especially psychiatry, are gradually taking over the terrain which formerly was held by religion, with mental illness replacing sin, maladjustment replacing immorality, and psychiatric/psychological treatment replacing salvation. This is especially true in the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of so-called pedophilia, with the dogma of inevitable and pervasive harm to the younger “victim,” and the tenet of convincing the “perpetrator” of the error of his ways and his need to do penance.

    But these social sciences have a long history of misdiagnosis and maltreatment, going back to the vicious campaign against masturbation, and continuing through unethical research using children and homosexuality being defined as a pathology, on to such gems as the “Satanic ritual abuse” debacle, “recovered memories,” and “multiple personality disorder,” just to name a few. These errors have required that the “bible” of the social sciences, the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM), be revised periodically to reflect the latest mental health fads. The current version has a convoluted tripartite set of inconclusive diagnostic criteria for “pedophilia,” yet still finds it necessary to fall back on the religious concept of morality: “An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act …”. [Dead Link to http://www.medem.com/?q=medlib/article/ZZZUZRUZGLC Removed]

    While the pronouncements of social scientists and mental health professionals carry considerable weight and are reported as fact and truth by the media, it is obvious that these self-proclaimed “experts” have a very questionable track record, and that they change their evaluations, diagnoses, and treatments according to whatever cultural wind happens to be blowing. Their current posture on “pedophilia” differs from that which preceded it, and there is no reason to believe that the present is any more valid or permanent than its predecessors.

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    Are all boylovers the same?:

    Victimologists recognize little difference in “pedophiles,” using pejorative terminology such as “fixated,” “regressed,” “structured,” “preferential,” etc., more to describe the intensity of the attraction than actions. One non-depreciatory “typology” that has been developed and tested is based on behaviors and may be examined here. An Internet research project based on that typology which reports on the responses and self-classifications of 517 older males is available here.

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    Why are all incidents of sexually expressed boy/older male experiences reported in the media as “crimes?”:

    The criminalization and public demonization of consensual sexually expressed boyhood relationship with older males has been described by various authors as “iatrogenic,” i.e., the “treatment” of the supposed problem causes considerable harm to the boy, not to mention his older partner. Wilson (1981), for example, noted “A punitive and draconian justice system that directly punishes a paedophile, indirectly scapegoats a boy who has been involved in a sexual relationship with an older man, … and does so with an impact that severely damages both… (p. 133). Constantine (1981) describes external interference in these relationships as “psychonoxious,” and Ingram describes a situation where the boy had been emotionally “buggered … by the police and the doctor.” (p. 181).

    Iatrogensis is discussed more thoroughly in Malón (2009), and the general state of sexophobic hysteria is well described by Jenkins (1998).

    References:

    Constantine, L. & Martinson, F. (1981). Children and sex. Boston: Little, Brown.

    Ingram, M. (1981). Participating victims: A study of sexual offences with boys. In L. Constantine & F. Martinson (Eds.) Children and sex. Boston: Little Brown.

    Jenkins, P. (1998). Moral panic, New Haven CT: Yale University.

    Malón, A.(2009) On the Iatrogenic Nature of the Child Sexual Abuse Discourse. Sexuality & Culture, 13 (2, 75-90.

    Wilson, P. (1981). The man they called a monster. North Melbourne, Australia: Cassell.

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    Why do some websites and forums seem to address boy/older male sexuality in rather insensitive and offensive ways?:

    In a persecuted group which has no appreciable organization and limited communication, the most visible members tend to be the most arrogant and irresponsible, whereas the reasonable, rational, and responsible are less frequently seen or heard from. There are countless Internet sites which have to do with various aspects of boylove, some exclusively, while others conflate boylove with other issues. Each of these reflects the view of the person(s) who sponsor them, and these views run the gamut from the sublime to the ridiculous.

    In apparent recognition of the negative image that some of their participants project, most “boylove” fora require a simple registration which would seem to be intended to dissuade casual “surfers.” However, anyone who provides a legitimate email address can register to read, although there usually is some sort of a probationary period for full posting privileges. Examination of these fora will reveal a wide range of positions and discussions, as well as an obvious internal tension between various factions and individuals, most generally irresponsible versus responsible and lust versus love. Those who are looking for “dirt” will find plenty of it, but those with objective purposes who look beyond the dirt can also find civil and rational discussions.

    For those who want to investigate on their own, here are two samples:

    Boylover.net: [http://boylover.org] Registration required.

    BoyChat https://www.boychat.org/ Registration not required.

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    Amor por los Muchachos©


    Declaración Universal de los Derechos Humanos de las Naciones Unidas, Artículo 19:
    Todo individuo tiene derecho a la libertad de opinión y de expresión; este derecho incluye el de no ser molestado a causa de sus opiniones, el de investigar y recibir informaciones y opiniones, y el de difundirlas, sin limitación de fronteras, por cualquier medio de expresión.
    Carta de los Derechos Fundamentales de la Unión Europea

    Artículo 11: Libertad de expresión y de información:
    Toda persona tiene derecho a la libertad de expresión. Este derecho comprende la libertad de opinión y la libertad de recibir o de comunicar informaciones o ideas sin que pueda haber injerencia de autoridades públicas y sin consideración de fronteras.
    Artículo 13: Libertad de las artes y de las ciencias:
    Las artes y la investigación científica son libres. Se respeta la libertad de cátedra.
    Constitución de los Estados Unidos de América: Primera enmienda:

    El Congreso no hará ley alguna con respecto a la adopción de una religión o prohibiendo el libre ejercicio de dichas actividades; o que coarte la libertad de expresión o de prensa, o el derecho del pueblo para reunirse pacíficamente, y para solicitar al gobierno la reparación de agravios.


  • IBLD.net no es una página sobre “paidofilia” según el mal uso y demonización que hoy en día se está haciendo de este término.
  • IBLD.net es una página sobre relaciones consentidas entre muchachos y hombres adultos y que incluyen un componente sexual.
  • IBLD.net no acoge material erótico sobre muchachos (“pornografía infantil”) ni proporciona links en este sentido.
  • IBLD.net no apoya ni justifica actos ilegales de abuso, depredación o cualquier otro tipo.

    A pesar de ello, bajo el falso argumento de “proteger a los niños”, muchos individuos y grupos desean suprimir cualquier discusión racional sobre estas relaciones sexualmente expresadas entre muchachos y hombres adultos. Estas personas y grupos temen una discusión abierta que incluya nuevos datos sobre estas cuestiones, recurriendo por el contrario a falsas informaciones, mentiras y amenazas. Estas personas se han esforzado durante mucho tiempo por establecer una errónea percepción pública según la cual todas estas experiencias son nocivas, arremetiendo histéricamente contra cualquiera que ose hacer algo por modificar estos prejuicios. Si usted es una persona de mente sana y racional, interesada en conocer otras posiciones sobre esta materia, no importa cuan impopulares sean, le invitamos respetuosamente a leer y considerar las siguientes informaciones y links.

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  • La Filosofía del Amor Responsable por los Muchachos

    Nota: Este sitio se mantiene como una presentación de archivo,
    por el EQ. Fundación. Este no es un sitio en vivo.


    La Filosofía del Amor
    Responsable por los Muchachos


    Esta filosofía parte de la premisa fundamental de que en cualquier relación entre un muchacho y un hombre maduro, sea ésta expresada sexualmente o no, los legítimos intereses del muchacho tienen preferencia sobre los de su amigo de mayor edad.


    Este tipo de amor implica una relación entre un chico, interesado en una relación de íntima y estrecha amistad, con un hombre o un muchacho más mayor cuyo amor por el chico abarca tanto el disfrutar de la compañía del muchacho como el deseo de proporcionarle un entorno de amistad, consejo y cuidado. La naturaleza, vitalidad y duración de estas relaciones, así como la extensión del cuidado y la amistad, vienen determinadas por el consentimiento mutuo, siendo siempre prioritarios los deseos del muchacho. La relación también incluye una definida atracción erótica hacia el menor por parte del adulto, pudiendo incluir un deseo de experimentación sexual, exploración, juego y gratificación por parte del más joven. En cualquier caso es un principio fundamental de este tipo de relaciones que cualquier expresión sexual de tipo físico es sólo aceptable con la apropiada edad y capacidad de comprensión, deseo y consentimiento por parte del muchacho implicado. No obstante, ambas partes deben tener en consideración y de forma muy cuidadosa que cualquiera de estas expresiones físicas, no importa que sean completamente consentidas, son considerados actos criminales bajo los sistemas legales actuales en la mayor parte del mundo.


    Creencias erróneas más comunes:

    El amor responsable hacia un muchacho no incluye, defiende ni tolera bajo ningún concepto la actividad sexual no consentida. Esto implica no excusar ni justificar cosas tales como los intentos por seducir a un muchacho que claramente no está interesado en esa experiencia, ni actos como la corrupción o el hostigamiento en cualquiera de sus formas. Aquellos que suscriben esta filosofía del amor hacia los muchachos se sienten tan afectados por estos crímenes como cualquier otro; e incluso quizás más, dado el amor que profesan por todos los muchachos y el dolor que sienten cuando uno de ellos es agredido, violado o asesinado. El público y los medios parecen conocer sólo una palabra cuando hay un contacto sexual entre un muchacho y un hombre mayor: el desagradable y peyorativo adjetivo “paidófilo”. Pero el uso actual de este término parte de una total corrupción de su significado original, siendo una maliciosa creación de académicos desencaminados, religiosos radicales, malintencionadas feministas y políticos prejuiciosos que lo han convertido en un concepto inaceptable para la gran mayoría de los hombres que aman a los muchachos.


    Los comentarios arriba expuestos han sido extraídos de los debates y contribuciones aportadas por numerosas personas en varios medios electrónicos durante aproximadamente siete años.

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    ¿Qué es el DIAM?

    Nota: Este sitio se mantiene como una presentación de archivo,
    por el EQ. Fundación. Este no es un sitio en vivo.


    Día Internacional del

    Amor por los Muchachos©


    El Día Internacional del Amor por los Muchachos (DIAM) ha sido establecido para otorgar el debido honor y reconocimiento a los muchachos de ahora o del pasado que, en su búsqueda del amor y la aceptación que quizá no encontraron en otro lugar, optan por desafiar las maliciosas y artificiales normas que prohibieron este amor. Igualmente este día reconoce a aquellos amables, cuidadosos y valientes hombres – algunos todavía adolescentes – que han dedicado sus vidas a amar, cuidar y acompañar a los muchachos. Estos valientes chicos y sus amigos mayores se han comprometido en esta época en esta honorable y benéfica tradición en contra de las sospechas, oposiciones y odio de esa parte de la sociedad voluntariamente ignorante y que ni aprecia ni entiende a aquellos muchachos que desean y buscan este amor, o a sus heroicos hombres mayores que tratan de atender sus necesidades.

    Como es destacado por el Doctor Paul Wilson, distinguido investigador y actual catedrático de criminología en la Universidad de Bond en Australia: La realidad es que los muchachos se han interesado por los hombres desde tiempo inmemorial y lo seguirán haciendo, buscándolos para ver satisfechas sus necesidades sexuales y emocionales.

    DIAM representa un conjunto de ideales, aspiraciones y objetivos; no es una organización. No está compuesta por “cuarteles generales”, “delegados” o “miembros”, ni organiza encuentros en la “vida real” o maneja otras estadísticas que no sean las publicadas en esta página (o derivadas de ella). La observancia personal y sus acciones son total responsabilidad de los individuos, así como las actividades de los grupos que son organizadas y dirigidas localmente sin ningún tipo de conocimiento ni coordinación por parte de los responsables de esta página.

    La celebración del Día Internacional del Amor por los Muchachos, que tiene lugar dos veces al año, está programada para los solsticios de verano en cada hemisferio. De cara a favorecer una mayor participación, la celebración tiene lugar siempre en sábado o en el siguiente a cada solsticio.

    El logo de esta celebración está diseñado para ser usado conjuntamente con el BLogo de Kalos.

    La primera celebración del Día Internacional del Amor por los Muchachos fue el 21 de diciembre de 1998.

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    Historia:

    Nota: Este sitio se mantiene como una presentación de archivo,
    por el EQ. Fundación. Este no es un sitio en vivo.


    Día Internacional del

    Amor por los Muchachos©


    Aunque se habían producido con anterioridad algunos debates más amplios, el concepto del Día Internacional del Amor por los Muchachos © fue propuesto concretamente y de forma conjunta en dos foros de discusión a finales de junio de 1998. Se sugirió que esta celebración tuviera lugar cada año en el solsticio de verano. Dado que esta fecha ya había pasado en aquel año, se sugirió que tuviera lugar dos veces al año en los respectivos solsticios de verano del hemisferio norte y sur. Esta página Web fue entonces desarrollada para mantener viva esta idea y para promocionar su celebración, habiendo estado continuamente actualizada desde entonces con contribuciones de diversos lugares. La primera celebración organizada de este día tuvo lugar el 21 de diciembre de 1998.

    Una de las características de las primeras celebraciones del DIAM era un “maratón” IRC de 48 horas abierto a la participación de todos y en el que las discusiones entre sus muchos participantes acabaron produciéndose en el primer sábado después del solsticio más que en el día exacto en que se producía. El razonamiento fue que era más sencillo para los participantes programar así sus actividades que en un día laborable. En el mes de junio de 2002, dentro del maratón de discusiones, se llegó al consenso de que, debido en parte a la cantidad de tiempo y esfuerzo que suponía cada celebración, hacerlo dos veces al año era demasiado y que en lo sucesivo sólo la de junio debería ser mantenida. Un factor adicional era la coincidencia de la celebración de diciembre con las fiestas navideñas festejadas en muchos países. Desafortunadamente, las discusiones IRC nunca fueron reanudadas a partir de 2002 debido a preocupaciones por la seguridad.

    Con la evolución de estas celebraciones del DIAM, gran parte del fervor original ha sido sustituido por un tono mucho más tranquilo y privado. Con la desaparición del maratón IRC, el “fragor de los tambores” se ha ido apaciguando y las aportaciones son más personales, contando con una menor exhibición pública. Dado que el esfuerzo requerido es menor y se ha dedicado a actividades promocionales como el de la “cuenta atrás” de los días que quedan, que fue en su momento un rasgo de otros foros, las anteriores razones para la adopción de un solo día de celebración al año han perdido parte de su importancia. A ello se suma que un significativo porcentaje de aquellos que respondieron a una encuesta realizada desde esta página optaron por preferir una doble celebración anual. Por lo tanto, y desde 2005, la celebración se ha ido anunciando para su celebración en el primer sábado tras el solsticio de verano en ambos hemisferios. No obstante, es obvio que cualquiera es libre de elegir los días que desee para la celebración del DIAM.

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    Observancia:

    Nota: Este sitio se mantiene como una presentación de archivo,
    por el EQ. Fundación. Este no es un sitio en vivo.


    Día Internacional del

    Amor por los Muchachos©


    Esta jornada se celebra dos veces al año en el primer sábado
    tras el solsticio de verano en ambos hemisferios.


    El modo de observar este día puede ser únicamente mediante un callado e invisible recuerdo de lo que esta jornada representa, pues es posible que no haya nadie con quien compartir esta ocasión o que no se den ni la oportunidad ni el deseo de hacer algo en público. Una única y pequeña vela de color azul en casa puede ser suficiente.

    La vela azul se ha convertido en el símbolo del DIAM y mientras algunos pueden optar por dejar encendida de forma anónima una vela azul en un lugar público seguro, tal vez acompañada de unos pocos folletos explicativos de esta celebración, la mayoría encenderán su vela en la privacidad de su hogar. Pero este símbolo es sólo una de las muchas formas en que puede ser celebrada en todo el mundo esta jornada para celebrar el cariño y amor por los muchachos.

    Para algunos puede ser una ocasión para encontrarse con uno o más amigos, quizás disfrutando de una comida en común y de la oportunidad de recordar tiempos pasados, discutir sobre el presente o compartir sus esperanzas por los tiempos futuros.

    Otros, mientras tanto, que hayan tenido el privilegio de compartir en el pasado su amor con un muchacho, pueden contactar o pasar el día con el hombre en que se ha convertido aquel joven, quizás incluso con su familia si es que se ha casado y tiene hijos, algo que suele suceder con la gran mayoría de los muchachos que vivieron este tipo de amor.

    Pero este día está dedicado en realidad a aquellos afortunados, los muchachos y sus amigos mayores, que se encuentran en estos momentos en medio de una feliz y provechosa relación. Y que son incluso más afortunados por el hecho de que nadie ha interrumpido ni destruido su felicidad en nombre de la conveniencia social, como sucede tan a menudo. Este es el día en que ellos pueden deleitarse en su intimidad y encontrar alegría en su camaradería, del mismo modo que disfrutan de cualquiera actividad que hayan elegido.

    Esperamos que cada nueva celebración del DIAM nos vaya acercando más y más a ese día en que la ignorancia, malicia y grosera injusticia que ahora se ejercen contra estos muchachos y sus amigos, sean reemplazadas por la comprensión, la compasión y la justicia; un día en que el amor entre esos dos seres humanos sea finalmente reconocido y aceptado.

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    Nota:

    Note:This site is being kept as an archival presentation,
    by the EQ. Foundation. This is not a live site.


    Día Internacional del

    Amor por los Muchachos©


    Muestra de una posible nota para dejar junto a una vela.


    Esta vela, como muchas otras alrededor del mundo, fue dejada aquí por un hombre que ha dedicado su vida a las organizaciones para jóvenes, invirtiendo tiempo en aconsejar y enseñar valores a los muchachos, y que estaba disponible para discutir con ellos sobre aquellas difíciles cuestiones y problemas que suelen acompañarnos en la adolescencia. O bien por un hombre que habría gustosamente hecho todas estas cosas si se le hubiera permitido. Por un hombre que ama a los muchachos.

    Tú me conoces. Tuve varios nombres en la antigua Grecia, cuando el amor por los muchachos floreció mientras se forjaban los primeros fundamentos de una sociedad libre y democrática. He existido en cada sociedad desde entonces, habitualmente socialmente aceptado; a veces incluso en un lugar de honor. Hoy puedo ser tu compañero de trabajo, tu vecino o quizás tu amigo más íntimo.

    Soy un amante de los muchachos. No soy un agresor, un abusador o un violador que fuerza a los muchachos para satisfacer su lujuria. Estas son falsas imágenes que los medios te han hecho creer sobre los hombres que aman a los muchachos. Pero yo no soy así. Yo amo a los muchachos igual que amo la vida y nunca podría herir a un muchacho o forzarlo a hacer algo que no ha elegido por sí mismo.

    Pero hay una enfermedad recorriendo el mundo, una locura que ha distorsionado grotescamente ese amor y cariño por los muchachos que he sentido durante toda mi vida, convirtiéndolo en algo criminal y repugnante. Durante décadas yo, y un incontable número de hombres como yo, hemos soportado la persecución y vivido en el ocultamiento. Pero nunca más vamos a permanecer silenciosos y no consentiremos, mientras seamos capaces de hablar por nosotros mismos, que se recurra a la mentira y a la histeria para definir lo que somos. Esta vela es mi voz celebrando esta nuestra especial jornada. Para saber más sobre esta celebración, y sobre aquello en lo que creo, puedes visitar [http://www.ibld.net] desde tu ordenador.

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    In Memory of Dave:

    David L. “Dave” Riegel (1931 – 2019)

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