01) Waking Up with Sam Harris #132 – Freeing the Hostages (with Chris Voss)
“In this episode of the Waking Up podcast, Sam Harris speaks with Chris Voss about his experience as a hostage negotiator for the FBI. They discuss different types of hostage crises, along with many of the lessons that apply to negotiating in normal life.
Chris Voss is a 24-year veteran of the FBI and one of the world’s preeminent experts on the art of negotiation. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT’s Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, among others. He is the author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On it.”
01) Why I, as a black man, attend KKK rallies. – Daryl Davis – TEDxNaperville
“A chance encounter with members of the Ku Klux Klan led black musician Daryl Davis on a quest to determine the source of the hate. His unorthodox, yet simple approach, has wielded surprising results and just might be the solution for all racial discourse.
Daryl Davis graduated from Howard University with a degree in Jazz. As a pianist, vocalist, and guitarist, he performs nationally and internationally with The Daryl Davis Band. He has also worked with such notables as Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley’s Jordanaires, The Legendary Blues Band, and many others.
In 1983, A chance occurrence after one of his performances led him to befriend a member of the Ku Klux Klan. This eventually led Daryl to become the first black author to travel the country interviewing KKK leaders and members, all detailed in his book, Klan-Destine Relationships. Today, Daryl owns numerous Klan robes and hoods, given to him by active members who became his friends and renounced the organization.
Since his journey began, Davis has joined an all-white country band, attended KKK rallies, and accepted a “certificate of friendship” from the Traditionalist American Knights of the KKK. He’s even the godfather of former Klan Imperial Wizard Roger Kelly’s granddaughter.
Davis has received the Elliott-Black and MLK awards as well as numerous other local and national awards for his work in race relations, and is often sought by media outlets as a consultant on the KKK and race relations. He is also an actor with stage and screen credits, appearing in the critically acclaimed HBO police drama, The Wire, and most recently, as the subject of the documentary Accidental Courtesy, which filmed his real life encounters with Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazi leaders as he helps to dismantle racism across the United States
Davis has received the Elliott-Black and MLK awards as well as numerous other local and national awards for his work in race relations, and is often sought by media outlets as a consultant on the KKK and race relations. He is also an actor with stage and screen credits, appearing in the critically acclaimed HBO police drama, The Wire, and most recently, as the subject of the documentary Accidental Courtesy, which filmed his real life encounters with Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazi leaders as he helps to dismantle racism across the United States. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.”
Warren Farrell, author of The Boy Crisis, was once associated with the feminist movement. Then he changed his views. “I don’t agree with the part of feminism that says, ‘Men are the oppressors and women are the oppressed,'” Farrell tells Maxim Lott, a senior producer of Stossel on Reason.
For example, men die five years earlier than women, have more dangerous jobs, and are often passed over for custody. Boys are two times more likely than girls to commit suicide. Boys are 29 percent less likely to get a college degree than girls.
So why do men earn more and have more influence in government and business? A big reason, Farrell argues, is that men are filling social expectations to become the family breadwinner.
“Our dads and our grandpas, they made sacrifices…to make more money, and then the feminist movement turned all of that sacrifice on the part of men against men,” Farrell says.
Both sexes struggle, but Farrell thinks the feminist movement’s single-sided focus on women’s inequalities has led to an atmosphere that harms boys. A dramatic increase in fatherless households—which Farrell believes is largely responsible for boys’ problems—goes ignored.
Study after study finds that having both a mother and father is best, at least for straight families. (Gay families may do just as well; Farrell notes that the overall evidence is inconclusive.) “Even when we control for the amount of money a father and mother earn, children with dads still do much better,” Farrell notes.
The rate of fatherless households has increased partly because of welfare programs that “tear the family apart by giving the money to mothers when fathers are absent,” Farrell argues, “and not giving money to mothers when fathers are present.”
Why would fatherless households hurt boys more than girls? “Boys tend to not have as many skills at developing friendships, at developing emotional connections,” Farrell says. “So when the family connection breaks apart, it affects them more profoundly than it does their sisters.”
Farrell says fathers are critical for several non-intuitive reasons. One is roughhousing, which teaches kids boundaries. Fathers roughhouse more than mothers, and when they do, “the father is creating a bond with the child, so the children don’t mind discipline….The discipline is the price they pay for more fun with dad.”
Many people think that mothers tend to be better parents because women are, on average, more empathetic and pay more attention to a child’s needs. But Farrell says this by itself is not enough, because “an empathetic parent does not create an empathetic child. An empathetic parent is someone who’s always thinking of the children’s needs, which teaches the children to always have his or her needs thought of.”
Requiring a child to think of others’ needs is what actually build empathy, Farrell says.
Finally, Farrell says that mothers are more likely to express their love for a child by doing things like homework for the kid. They’re more likely to engage in “helicopter parenting,” which leads to overly dependent kids.
What’s the solution to “the Boy Crisis”? Farrell says that society should offer more respect to men who focus on fathering rather than career success. He wishes there were more men in classrooms, and that schools would bring back things like recess.
The views expressed in this video are solely those of John Stossel, his independent production company, Stossel Productions, and the people he interviews. The claims and opinions set forth in the video and accompanying text are not necessarily those of Reason.”
While being on welfare isn’t exactly the best thing possible…I’d go a step further, and say that allowing real wages to stagnate for the last fifty plus years, has driven masses of the population onto welfare…and contributed to breaking up families, from the relentless financial stress.
Welfare is a good thing…a third [or more?] of the country on welfare at the same time, and for prolonged periods of time, is not a good thing…
…But if there’s nothing out there, allowing this massive chunk of the nation to get off welfare…then what can be expected?
A few presidential elections back…I think it was George W. Bush…I distinctly remember one of the slogans being, “It’s the economy, stupid!”…
…And more than a decade later…it’s still the fundamentals of the economy…They’ve never been addressed…unbelievably…not even after a massive, economical meltdown that destroyed the housing market…
…A thinking person might be inclined to believe…that someone is intentionally trying to destroy the common population.
This is the insanity, which honestly did bring us President Trump…Decades of derelict politicians, who refuse to change course…even when it’s obvious, something different needs to be done.
…A lot of people fell for the dupe…that electing Trump would really mess with the system, and scare the establishment with a display that “we mean business”…
…While Trump was just waiting to get in, and default on his promises.
As to other points in this video…
…I don’t mourn the decline of the nuclear family…
…Based on my experience, and further witnessing, of it…it’s not “all that”, folks…
Granted…it probably distorted things a lot, that 90% of the families I interacted with growing up, were deeply involved with the church…and chasing after an unrealistic, “Christian family” persona…
…A little secret for outsiders [and the many unaware church insiders, too]…
…If dad, or mom, are a natural born a-hole…”getting saved”, joining a church, being baptized, singing hymns and crying out “amen!”…does absolutely nothing, in stopping them from being an a-hole…
…They normally just become an a-hole, who puts on a massive act, during that three or four hours a week while they are in church…so that other church members can get a certain impression of them…and you forever get subjected to comments about “what a lovely person your [a-hole] dad/mom is”…which you are then, expected to agree with…
…Meanwhile…you, knowing the full bloody truth in silence…have lost all respect for the two faced, a-hole hypocrite…spending much of your life wanting to smack them upside the head, because their act is such a lie…and it makes you sick…
Uh oh!…Sorry about some “daddy issues” slipping out…Oops!
That point aside [and ignoring that this clip cites Doctor Shill (aka Phil)]…Of course, men should be in the lives of children…and the diversity of male and female child raising, is highly important.
You don’t have to be around mom and dad, all the time…but there should be both females and males in a child’s life, in a substantial way…on a private life level.
Lastly…I think the point about men also being saddled by the so called “patriarchy”, is a good one…and extremely under appreciated…
…A lot of males hate, what we have historically been subjected too…and males have paid a heavy toll for it…This has not been oppression, originating from us…And most males do not deserve any blame for it.
Now…we have women being forced into the workforce…and they’re learning just how badly the system sucks, too…
…I think an extremely dirty trick has been played on females, in all of this.
“News Companies know that women share more content than men, use social media more, and that people are primarily motivated to share if something makes them angry.
Many news sites seem to push stories that would make women feel like victims. The reason may be simple, it will generate shares and make them money.”
Reasonable people can also agree…that we all have a right to outwardly discuss controversial [even offensive] issues, without fear of being assaulted…or having our ability to function [aka, survive] in society threatened…
Mike Huckabee does have a correct definition of terrorism, though…At least we can give him points for that much.
“…but they’ve tried to use acts of terror, and I use that word very intentionally, because when you try to change people’s behavior, by intimidation, by threats of violence and by actual violence, and by boycotting them, and by taking away their liberty, that’s terrorism.”
MAPs face this all of their lives…I’ve experienced this, countless times…
Beyond this point…I agree…Mike is a total hack…and largely deserves to be ignored.
01) Teachers, Quit Telling Introverts They Should Participate More
“We need to change the misconception that those who are the most outspoken are the most intelligent and engaged. There are many ways to be engaged. The child who does not speak in a large group may feel more comfortable in a small group. Break the class into small groups and give quiet students the chance to speak in a lower-risk situation. Or give them the option to write their thoughts instead of speaking them. There are many ways to cater to quiet, introverted students without imposing the extroverted norm upon them.
Most important, appreciate your introverted students. Appreciate their strengths and verbalize this to them. Do not let them grow up thinking they need to change or that they would be better if they were more like their outgoing peers. Introverted children are the strong, independent leaders of our future. Celebrate them.”
For me…I was never spastic enough, during pep rallies…
…As if my jumping up and down, clapping and chanting like an idiot, was going to help make the sports team win, later that evening…when I wouldn’t even be there…
…I’m not going to say I outright hated pep rallies…but, let’s face it…they are totally, irrefutably, unconditionally and outlandishly insane…
…And the school forced you to participate.
I also had an endless parade of trouble, when forced to stand in front of the class, chapel or whatever, and speak/read alone…It was utter hell. It didn’t matter how many times I’d done it previously…it was always hell, just as bad…if not worse…even if the group was small…
Nothing ever improved about it…and it was just psychological torture, for no good or valid reason.
They claim it’s supposed to be good for you, but no…it really isn’t…
…And they claim you’re supposed to “defeat it”, but no…you never really do…I felt like I made virtually no “progress” at all.
Allegedly…it’s supposed to be a useful talent…Reality is…most people wont spend their lives speaking in front of crowds…So, why should you be preparing for it?
Strengths in being an INFP [Introverted, Feeling Personality], include the fact that you can entertain yourself quite well, even with just your own mind and imagination…and you don’t go crazy, while being isolated from the rest of the world for long stretches…On the contrary…it’s a highly pleasing vacation…We also have stubborn will power on our side…and the ability to work through problems…often in ways, nobody else envisions.
…I think we INFPs, are the most psychologically and intellectually strong people of this world, on average…We just don’t get recognized for it so much, because it takes an accident of “fate” to get us recognized by other people.
This selection from “In Self Defense: The Life and Times of An Atheist BoyLover…Memoirs and Ethos”, has been narrated by Rocco White. Please enjoy the listen, or read along if you like…or need to.
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It is fair enough to say that I, Steve Diamond, might be wrong about any number of issues I’ve explored, or conclusions I’ve arrived at…
…I am fully open to being corrected, and changing my own outlook…
Where frustrated people who declare that “I am wrong” fail…is in their presumption that the science is settled, especially as relates to intergenerational sexual relationships, and issues involving MAPs…
…This is the big lie, that so many of them tell themselves and each other…
The science has not even truly been allowed to begin…despite long running, good faith efforts to begin this process…
While decades later…we are finally starting to see a small break away, from the fanatical interference this field of research has been marred down in…it’s still not honestly at a place where it should be…
The consistent denial by fanatics, in allowing MAPs [and intergenerational relationships] to be scrupulously researched, like any other topic would be…has led me to a few fundamental stances on how I approach MAP issues…First, that I fully reject “social wisdom” on these issues, as being authoritative or valid…Second, that all things under reported or ignored, must be emphasized, in order to counterbalance the gross bias of those spreading distorted information…and Third, that institutions and social structures which refuse to represent people and issues accurately, must be changed or abolished so that we may stop them from harming people and society.
I fundamentally reject the system, that fundamentally rejects me…the system that refuses to deal with MAPs, on an honest and humane level.
Such a system, is purveyor of lies and human devastation…
…As a human being of conscience, and high ethical standards…this is completely unacceptable to me.
So…could I be wrong about some things?…of course I could be…
…But I am not going to roll over, and capitulate, when we don’t even have a clear view on where things honestly stand in the real world [as opposed to the insides of paranoid minds], because the morally outraged constantly want to stand in the way as a barrier.
Most of my life…I’ve spent it standing up for the disenfranchised, and the social outcasts…probably because I am one, and I know how dirty the establishment is towards us…but just as relevant, because society needs to learn and understand how it also degrades and injures itself, by treating the least powerful and most vulnerable amongst it, so atrocious and inhumane.
If I am wrong about anything…If I even could be wrong, about everything…
…Then allow the process of science [empirical research] free travel…Allow the clearer picture to be witnessed and understood, by the masses…
…The numbers will fall where they will fall…
…And then, we can have the conversations, on where I may have been wrong…or where I may have been right…
If the morally outraged are so certain in their own conclusions…then what do they have to fear in this honest proposition?…
…unless they are bluffing…
…unless they don’t believe, that the scientific findings, will support their desired conclusions…
Get the corruption out of empirical research…Only then, will I allow myself to be lectured on the ways I may be wrong…provided that the statistics support it.
Until that day arrives…not a single human being on this planet, has the standing to judge me “wrong”, for my honest exploration on human sexuality…nor on my related conclusions.
“Small rogue Kai Ratsel gives his brother Ulli a 10-year-old ball with the autograph of football player David Odonkor. During the game, the ball flies past the wall of local junk. After that, Ullie does her best to get there. It is necessary to take back your ball!”
01) Waking Up with Sam Harris #132 – Freeing the Hostages (with Chris Voss)
