Does BoyChat Have To Be Mean?…

Date: October 12, 2014

…This place is tough. Does it have to be mean?…

…This place is tough. Does it have to be mean?…

You are full of…

Wonderful Advice in this post of yours, nitro.

The number one thing which bothers me most about this…is how disgustingly debased BoyChat has become, entirely because of this relentless, chronic behavior becoming the dominent norm. It has eroded things so badly, that you commonly don’t even know who is being on the level with you, even about trivial matters.

When I arrived here, something like sixteen years ago…I was so amazed and taken in by this lively, vibrant, inviting and sincerely caring community…that I did not even get phased by the chronically nasty posters…not for quite some time, anyway…I was too engaged with the others here…plus, the in fighting was more of an intriguing thing to watch play out…It was entirely new to me, this whole phenomena of people “like us” being able to freely do that.

I think a big part of the problem regarding many of us…is that we have been forced to co-exist with each other, for far too long…and on a resource, that has been in decline for many, many years.

The “broken record” phenomena is at play, here.

Historically, I’ve always striven to quietly pass by the mutual fight threads…and I’ve often done the same, in cases where certain people were being indefensibly cruel and abusive towards others here…Though, I’m more inclined to infuse something decent and caring, by maybe posting to the person under attack, with some type of compassion.

More of us should consciously do that…Just completely ignore the abuser, enter the thread and post something kind and uplifting to whomever is under attack, to help heal these wounds inflicted by abusers.

…They are not just wounds dealt to the person being attacked…They are wounds on these boards…They are wounds in the freedom and psychology of this community…They are wounds on the lives of onlookers, who don’t need anymore wounds.

In many ways, I feel like it has been a horrible failure on my own part, when I have not tried to counterbalance the abuse and vitriol which so enthusiastically gets spread all over these boards.

A lot of people don’t want to get involved…because of a vindictive atmosphere here, which almost always arises when someone does get involved…tries to disrupt, whatever scheme is being relentlessly undertaken by some abuser.

…But it really just grinds on you…when you’ve been here for how many years?…and back in the day, “so-and-so” was here…being nasty and abusive, and hijacking threads or the entire board, for imposing their own will on it [to hell with consideration, for everybody else]…when really energized, even keeping this place in a state of perpetual war.

…And a few years later, “so-and-so” is still here, behaving in a way that makes you wonder if anything at all has changed on these boards…

…And a decade later, “so-and-so” is still here…and thoughts of all the pain, anger and degradation caused, by the fact that mouthy, nasty “so-and-so”, is somehow still here…inexplicably managing to somehow avoid a lifelong permanent ban…Still pushing way past the boundaries of acceptable behavior, and with a grocery list of community members in good standing, who have repeatedly cited and outlined the menacing, threatening legacy of “so-and-so”…

At some point in time…and this has happened for me, with a few people here…it is time to take that old, tired, worn out, broken record…and throw it in the trash can, where it belongs.

…We’ve been relentlessly subjected to what they have to offer…and it is rotten to the core…

What I have just explained here…is where I have been psychologically at, for the last two or three years…at least.

…It is extremely hard and testing at times…refraining from thrashing the rancid crap, out of certain mouthy, abusive, nasty, “below the belt” manipulation people, who have deeply entrenched themselves here [on a board and resource I care deeply about]…and who have been absolutely begging for a severe reckoning to come back around to them.

How many decades does it take, before this board will vomit out it’s poisoners?

…It has turned even the good people here, into people who have been melded to the will of these malcontents…Because eventually, being constantly subjected to this breaks anybody down.

This is why…what I have been talking about [and certain people have scoffed at], is so relevant.

It is important, what the general balance and atmosphere of this board gets maintained at. Which is why it is so important, that we push the malcontents aside, and we overshadow them with a superior behavior…one which represents our community with dignity, compassion and meaning we can be proud of.

I’m not talking about people who have heated disagreements, here…We disagree with each other here all the time, without it turning into some ridiculous spectacle…Nor am I speaking of people having a bad day…I’m talking about the cases who rightly should have been banned from these boards, years ago…and for whom it is a complete mystery, that they are allowed to remain.

And if anybody out there is reading this post…and they are seeing themselves in what I have typed just above…realize it is you, with your relentless bile, who has taught the rest of us how to relate and respond to you. If some of us have “thin skin”, it is because your relentless abrasiveness has worn it down to the raw meat…and now you are seeing the bloody sentiments emerge…many of which have been pent up, in some cases, for over a decade.

I’ve hung onto BoyChat all these years, for a number of reasons…It still serves a purpose in my life…It’s still a place to come, for bouncing ideas off other people…and for community…

…But I’ve also come to find, that my blog is every bit as important to me, as BoyChat ever was…because it gives me somewhere to go, when I see BoyChat flooded with the sort of thing you are talking about, and I just have to turn my back on the whole vile mess, and walk out the door to saner territory…because that is one day, I am not letting it all drag me down with it.

It is frustrating seeing things when they are in that state…But I think I am frustrated more at the good people here, for remaining silent…or for constantly calling for the cheap, easy “fix” of banning people…

The solution has always been…Take The Damn Board Back From The Mouthy, Vile Fools Trying To Destroy It, By Imposing A Better Quality Of Behavior On Every Thread.

Let the malcontents drown in our collective good…Let them wither and die from lack of acknowledgement, as we turn our backs on them and their shameful behavior.

Reza Aslan – Bigotry, Fundamentalism and Neo-Atheism in the Media…

Date: November 13, 2014

…Reza Aslan – Bigotry, Fundamentalism and Neo-Atheism in the Media…

“Published on Oct 13, 2014
Professor Reza Aslan is the author of the New York Times #1 Bestseller “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth,” and is a writer and scholar on religious studies.

Is there a media bias against Islam? Reza Aslan points to certain media pundits and hosts who call all religion bad, but Islam “the worst.” Is it bigoted when pundits like Sam Harris call any non-extremist Muslims “not real” Muslims? Are some media commentators denouncing and defining Christian and Muslim extremism themselves fundamentalist bigots? Where is the balance between when interpreting holy text? What is the difference between atheism and neo-atheism? Is there such a thing as the one “truth?”

Reza Aslan sits down with The Young Turks’ Cenk Uygur to discuss and debate the state of religious commentary in media, religious ignorance, the removal of religion from society and neo-atheism, what it really means to be religious, picking-and-choosing attitudes across the board, and much more on fundamental misunderstandings of religion.”

Ring of Fire 11/09/2014 (FULL EPISODE)…

Date: November 13, 2014

…Ring of Fire 11/09/2014 (FULL EPISODE)…

“Published on Nov 11, 2014
00:42 – “The Lesson for Democrats.”

9:09 – “Crucifying America.”

19:38 – “Exposing Malpractice Myths.” Howard Nations discusses a new Rand study showing that malpractice lawsuit caps are not lowering healthcare costs, or preventing medical errors. #MalpracticeMyths

37:15 – “Is Austerity Bringing A New Meltdown?” Attorney Michael Burg will explain what banks are doing with our money when we make a deposit. #ShowMeTheMoney

48:49 – “The Backstory.” Pap news with Sam Seder.”

What’s Equality Got To Do With It – Dr. Janice Fiamengo at Queen’s University…


Date: November 13, 2014

01) What’s Equality Got To Do With It – Dr. Janice Fiamengo at Queen’s University

“Dr. Janice Fiamengo, University of Ottawa, public lecture: “What’s Equality Got To Do With it? Men’s Issues and Feminism’s Double Standards …”

“With the debate heating up about feminism, rape culture and the place of men’s issues awareness at Canadian universities, provocative English Professor Janice Fiamengo will present “What’s Equality Got To Do With It? Men’s Issues and Feminism’s Double Standards …”

What’s Equality Got To Do With It, Q&A – Dr. Janice Fiamengo:


Album: New Frontiers…


Date: November 11, 2014

New Frontiers [18:34]

01) A Lovers Tale

02) Scrambled Heads

03) New Frontiers

04) Relax [meditation]

05) Emigdau [church organ]

06) Techno 01

07) JD5 [brass]

08) The Bells of Light

I wont normally release albums “back to back”…but since 80% of this album has already been released, and has been available in the Jukebox below for a while, I figured I should just get this one published.

At eighteen minutes and thirty four seconds, New Frontiers presently sets right in the middle of all five released albums, in terms of running length.

A fairly quick listen, but there is some rather nice stuff here…It’s a “fresh” set, without a lot of alternate track repetition [ie: same song from previous albums, different style]…Which is nice, and makes this album a bit more unique. The alternate tracks included here, are both quite good…And this is their “world release”…

New Frontiers is kind of the “flip side” to a coin, compared with “Faces of Time”…which was virtually all unreleased tracks…This is virtually all previously released tracks [individually], with two new releases.

…But, this is the first time they’ve been presented as a set…and I really like this set.

New Frontiers

01) A Lovers Tale – Totally organic “me”! Nothing of this existed, prior to my firing up the synthesizer.

02) Scrambled Heads – Love this track! A great, crazy sound.

03) New Frontiers – This was created for the “Our Love Frontier” podcast…Which is supposed to be my re-entry into podcasting.

04) Relax [meditation] – An explorative experiment…Don’t know if I’m going to try this again, or not.

05) Emigdau [church organ] – Brand new release! What can I say?…This one is great.

06) Techno 01 – A nice techno theme.

07) JD5 [brass] – Brand new release! This is my favorite version of JD5.

08) The Bells of Light – A simple track to end the collection. Nothing to scream about, but nice.



Obama Proposes Surprisingly Strong Net Neutrality Laws…

Date: November 10, 2014

…Obama Proposes Surprisingly Strong Net Neutrality Laws…

“Published on Nov 10, 2014
“U.S. President Barack Obama on Monday said Internet service providers should be regulated more like public utilities to make sure they grant equal access to all content providers, touching off intense protests from cable and telecoms companies and Republican lawmakers.

Obama’s detailed statement on the issue of “net neutrality,” a platform in his 2008 presidential campaign, was a rare intervention by the White House into the policy setting of an independent agency.

Shares of major Internet service providers Comcast Corp (CMCSA.O) and Time Warner Cable Inc (TWC.N) fell sharply after Obama said ISPs should be reclassified to face stricter regulations and banned from striking paid “fast lane” deals with content companies.”* The Young Turks host Cenk Uygur breaks it down.”

Album: Faces of Time…


Date: November 10, 2014

Faces of Time

01) Dreams [strings]

02) Memory

03) Out There

04) JD5 [strings]

05) DreamChaser [piano]

06) Emigdau [guitar]

07) Panorama

08) Beauty and the Beast [strings]

The running time of this album is 24 minutes and 9 seconds…which makes this the third longest album I’ve released, thus far.

In terms of track quality, I think this is the most solid collection I’ve released to date…There is no weak track here. There are a lot of new releases on this one…I hope you enjoy them.

01) Dreams [strings] – An old recording…but one of my favorites.

02) Memory – A new release. I’ve been setting on this one for a while. It is nice.

03) Out There – “Space Music”…While this has already been released, it is relatively new.

04) JD5 [strings] – A new release. I love this recording.

05) DreamChaser [piano] – A new release. I love this music. This is the piano version.

06) Emigdau [guitar] – A new release. Hands down, a top favorite out of everything I’ve managed to crank out, thus far. There are some rivals, which will be released in the future.

07) Panorama – More “Space Music”…But I got a good bit more “hands on” involved, with this track.

08) Beauty and the Beast [strings] – A new release. The last version I recorded of this song. My milking of “Beauty and the Beast” is done. 🙂



Minor Attracted Persons Survey…

Date: November 10, 2014

…Please help in new research initiative…

…Please help in new research initiative…

…Minor Attracted Persons Survey…

“This study is being conducted by B4U-ACT and the Psychiatry Department of Mount Sinai Beth Israel in New York City.

We are conducting this study because we feel that there are serious limitations in the current scientific research about adults who are sexually attracted to children. While there is a fair amount of scientific research on adults who have been arrested for and/or convicted of sexual offenses against children, there is little to no research on minor attracted persons (MAPS) who successfully refrain from sexually engaging with children and who fully live within the law. Because of this, the mental health community has a very narrow and biased view of minor attracted persons, essentially equating sexual feelings with illegal behavior and with any of the psychological and biological traits that may go along with it. This has serious legal, social and political implications for individuals who, through no fault of their own, experience persistent sexual attraction to underage children.

B4U-ACT is committed to deepening the mutual understanding and communication between the MAP community and the mental health community. While B4U-ACT is committed to living within the law and protecting children from harm, we aim to reduce the crushing stigma and associated psychological and social harm experienced by minor attracted persons. We firmly believe that solid, fair and high-quality scientific research is the best way to replace stereotype with fact, and to simultaneously promote the welfare of MAPs, children and society at large.”

If you are so inclined, then feel free to participate in this project.

– Steve

Three Year Old Scott McMillan…


……………………………………| Perverted Justice Journal | The Vile Files |


Date: November 09, 2014

…Third person arrested in toddler’s killing as ‘house of horror’ photos reveal dents left in wall by couple who smashed the three-year-old’s head against it – before ‘hanging him upside down and torturing him to death’…

…Third person arrested in toddler’s killing as ‘house of horror’ photos reveal dents left in wall by couple who smashed the three-year-old’s head against it – before ‘hanging him upside down and torturing him to death’…

“Announcing the charges on Thursday, Hogan said: ‘Let me tell you about an American horror story. Little Scotty McMillan is dead.

‘Over a three-day period… he was systematically tortured and beaten to death. He was punched in the face and in the stomach, he was scourged with a homemade whip, he was lashed with a metal rod, he was tied to a chair and beaten, he was tied upside down by his feet and beaten, his head was smashed through a wall and at the end of that he had bruises on top of bruises all over his body.’


The three adults told authorities ‘that Scott McMillan had been punched and beaten with blunt and sharp objects, whipped, taped to a chair with electrical tape and beaten, hung up by his feet and beaten, and suffered other acts of violence,’ police said in affidavits released Thursday.


Fellenbaum had severely beaten the boy for refusing to eat toast both Monday and Tuesday morning, authorities said.

The ‘discipline’ included throwing him against a wall, knocking him off a chair with a punch and then taping him to the chair to keep him upright for more beatings, police said.


Prosecutors also showed off pictures of the weapons that were used. Included in the items were a makeshift whip, a curtain rod, an aluminum strip and photos of holes in the wall where Fellenbaum slammed Scotty and his 6-year-old brother’s heads into the wall, according to NBC Philadelphia.


On the night that the youngster died, Tait told police that she and Fellenbaum left Scotty on the mattress so he could sleep then went out to pick up pizza for dinner.

At that time, Tait told police that she and Fellenbaum engaged in sexual activity then she took a nap, according to investigators.

After waking up around 7:30 pm Tait said she found Scotty wasn’t breathing so she screamed for someone to call 911. Amber Fellenbaum then called 911 and medics arrived.

A judge denied bail to both Fellenbaum and Tait at a Wednesday arraignment.

Hogan announced a total of 16 charges against Gary Fellenbaum including first- and third-degree murder charges, homicide, endangering the welfare of a child, assault and reckless endangerment. Tait faces 15 charges including the most serious murder charges, according to court records.


An affidavit states: ‘During one incident, Gary hung Scott and (his brother) up by their feet one at a time and beat the boys while they were hanging upside down'(Tait) stated the she and Gary were laughing during the incident.'”

…Two adults who gang up on a three year old toddler [and his six year old brother], brutalize him…and murder him over the course of three days…one being the child’s own mother, having a good time with it all…And a third, apathetic woman in the home who refused to intervene in any way.

I’ve seen cases which rival this, both in sheer inhumane brutality and in staggering display of contempt for a child’s survival…and I expect, this sort of thing has always been around…But I will never understand, what makes a parent murder their own child…or for that matter, what makes an adult murder a child…or treat one so viciously.

In these types of cases…there is no way possible that the adults involved can not know what they are doing, and the ultimate consequence of it all [a dead child]. There is just no defense in existence…These adults chose to viciously murder a three year old child.

What were they thinking?…Were they thinking at all?

…Like I was saying…this is not something which is new…The issue of parents, family and caregivers murdering the children in their care, is no small matter…Often, it is extremely violent and cold blooded.

There are a lot of breeders out there, who do not deserve to be called “parents”…and, frankly, who should never be left to care for children.

In terms of social issues…this is one area, where the ball is being dropped…and dropped…and dropped…and dropped…

You know…I don’t really want to go on about what I am about to say…but this case is a prime example of what I am talking about…when I tell society [more precisely, those who self identify as “the normals”], to look in the mirror and clean up it’s own backyard, before it marches into mine and imagines everything that is supposedly wrong with “me”.

…You have this massive mountain of child abuse, child neglect, even child murder…all at the hands of “normal” people…but you are so obsessed over the tiny molehill of minor changes and irritation, which embracing someone like me into society might cause you and your prejudices…

…Do you “normals” even comprehend, what the important social issues are here?

There is a normal phenomena of adults torturing, abusing and murdering their own children…It exists all around the world…And somehow, it just keeps going on.

…Ah!…But it is the “pervert” who gently shows affection and love to a child, who is “the big problem” to get our nickers in a twist over?

…Black is white…up is down…yes is no…

I think…the human is the most confused and socially insane species, known to exist.

I am sickened by much of what you so called “normals” do…

…and down right astonished, that you can point your finger at people like me…and call us “monster”…

I have lived for many years, with young children in the home I live in…I don’t claim to have raised any child, but we do interact a lot. I have never raised a violent or abusive hand to any of them. They don’t fear me…They have no reason too, and they know this. I have given a lot over the years, for their benefit…Not because I expect anything specific, but because it is what you do for people who you care about.

I’ve also been wrestling with sharing something private, and unrelated to these relationships…I’ve been wanting to write [or even talk in recording] about it, for many years…

…Understand…I have walked in uncommon shoes, down treacherous paths…taking risk of exposing myself, in an atmosphere of very bad circumstances…because I am a Child Lover…and I ultimately have to place a child’s needs above my own…walking into this, even when I knew it could be to my own severe detriment.

It has been a very heavy burden…At times, it has torn me up to not even be able to speak about it…or express what it was putting me through.

Something a lot of people don’t seem to understand about me, is that I am the real deal…and I have a genuine life history, to back it up in very uncommon form…

…When the chips were down…I have always, without question or fail, stood on behalf of the child.

When I look around…and I realize the range to which all manner of violence against children is going on…it just devastates me.

Truth be told…In some of these horrific cases which you “normals” create…a pedophile could very well be the best friend and intervention, that a child will ever have.