Who Am I?

Who Am I? Note: This is a page from my Blog.com account [October 3, 2010], which I chose to post here. If it’s a tad repetitious next to the other pages linked here, so be it…This one is unique, though. “Who am I?”… I am that person, who feels isolated, disenfranchised and beaten down…with little chance of improving my own life, or the lives of people in my own demographic [people like me]. If I thought I could survive it, I would leave society…go live in the wilderness, perhaps within mountains…leave behind the insanity, of horrible social behaviors and laws…and ridiculous, nuanced relational rules…I would live free…happy in the blissful forgetting, that there are other people on this planet…I would live as the only one, in my world. I’ve thought of this very much, over the past decade, but realise that my age…old and serious injuries…and serious health conditions, would make such a life hard to weather…and my long term outlook, would likely be grim. …It looks, as though we are stuck with each other… I am a person, who is exploding out of his own skin…with sheer, utter frustration…at how people like me are systematically boxed into the most malicious, of stereotypical “definitions”… I demand to be seen for who I am, and how I live…not for what you probably think I am, or how you think I live… I am sick to death, of being overshadowed by your preconceptions and prejudices. I have great depth…great passion…great insight…great vision…great need…and great anger, over injustice… I’ve never raped or assaulted anyone…certainly, not by any sane, reality based definition, where a person who has previously been with/around me, would accept such a label over what occurred. When you are a scapegoat…laws are an acceptable form of weapon, to use against you…You are simply not protected [in rights, speech, etc] as a full citizen, with equal rights and equal dignity…You have no political power. Simple, free assembly…free association…these things, which so many others take for granted, are dangerous territory, for someone like me… Most people like myself, are kept isolated, because of these dangers…and by extension, they are kept completely ignorant, of any information which might bring them to a better understanding of themselves…and bring stability and well being, into their lives… Threats, and the ugly, hate filled things that people say about people like me…and the fact, that the world I live in, is so saturated with it…that you cannot escape it, no matter where you turn… …People like myself, have carried an enormous burden, which most of you have no concept of, or with which to relate to it… You literally drive untold numbers of us, to the brink of psychological collapse, with your phobias and malicious maltreatment of us. I am sick of watching this methodical process…I am sick of understanding it deeply, from within, yet not being able to safely do something about it…I am sick of seeing the complete lack of safeguards, intelligent limits…any checks and balances… I am sick of the dogmatic lunatics with personal vendettas, calling all the shots… I am sick of truth being subverted, censored and even censured by the government…amongst a myriad of other groups, and individuals. It is clear, that this will never end, unless I/we stand up, and take control of our own lives, and how we are defined by society. It is clear, they will not stop hurting us, assaulting us with their hate…mentally abusing us…murdering/physically assaulting us…threatening us…putting us in cages, as if we were dangerous animals…or exploiting us…until I/we stand up, and start doing those things which make them stop. This game…this political game has been soundly identified, long ago… This same stereotyping…this same scapegoating…this same hate…these same lies…the same subjugating…the same violent malevolence… …Where it exists today, aimed most harshly at us [pedosexuals]…is merely it’s latest, politically correct destination… This is the political reincarnation of racism…from the days of black slavery in the U.S…the days of massacre, against Native Americans…the days of imprisoning, and “hospitalising” gays and lesbians… It is the vulnerable point, where societies collective frustration, ignorance and hate, is “okay” to be thrown at…no matter how wrong, society may factually be. We are the modern day, default target of bold faced, raw hate and violence… …We are the dumping ground, for a mind boggling myriad of blames…over problems experienced by others…problems, which to a severe degree, have no direct connection to “us”…But, since society is not so well, about looking into the mirror and taking responsibility for it’s own failures…it’s own evil deeds committed by the good people…pedosexuals, are the easy ones to smear with blame…It’s not as if anybody is going to force you, to substantiate your claims, that pedosexuals are the root cause [as apposed to a plethora, of other more likely alternatives]… People do not define us, by the quality of our character or how we live our lives… …They define us, by sickening, ruthless stereotypes, which ignore nearly everything, about the human beings we actually are. I want you to understand this…even if you leave here, understanding nothing else. I carry a lot of personal, psychological and emotional scars, because of the life I have been forced to live… I’m told [even by threat of legal consequences, that are extreme] that I am not allowed to seek out information, or investigate…and come to understand, those things which are an integral part, of who I am… …Yet, many of us have defied these unjust, inhumane laws… Because, what we needed to learn…what we needed to confirm, or disprove…what we needed to know about ourselves, was far more deeply important, than cowering in fear and darkness, from unjust laws… Yes…to some degree, I am talking about what gets called, “child pornography”… …and a vast amount of the sensationalism surrounding “child pornography”, is blatant hyperbole…gross distortions…concealed misleading…and just terrible degrees of lying…by self appointed, social moralists, strong arm bullies…and opportunists, ready to exploit. I am the person…who points towards that proverbial elephant in the room…whenever people are saying things, which are clearly untrue… …I am the person, who is not turned off from pursuing knowledge, based upon any level of stigma. I want to know what is true…and I want others to know, also, what is true… If I have to put that elephant on a leash…and guide it to walk in front of you, at every possible opportunity…then, that is what I am intent to do… Society has mentally warped itself so badly, to where it completely denies the starkly obvious existence, of a wide range of harmless, human sexualities…and it makes people ruthlessly suffer the consequences, of it’s own ignorant wrath… I am the person who says, what any person of integrity, conscience and human decency would say… …These stereotypes, and this institutionalised malicious abuse…must come to an end… This must stop, now… So much of what gets expressed about sexual touch and expression…it is just ruthless lies, made by people, who want to hurt and manipulate sexual minorities…or, anyone who is “sexually free”… Meanwhile, we do not deserve this wrath… …”We”, the individuals and groups…we mean no harm… I will express the realities of this…and the realities of my own life…and whatever uplifting aspects of my existence, come to pass… You will never receive any apology from me, over this. There are many nasty things said about the vastly different groups of people, who are called “pedophiles”…and many of these spoken words, are simply not true…certainly not, as relates to pedosexuals [and true pedophiles], for whom this is a sincere, sexual and personal orientation. I kick stereotypes to the curb… …I will only speak truth, about pedophiles, pedosexuals, pedophilia and pedos [children]…