We Need to Speak the Same Language
In my experience…many of us use the exact same terms and phrases, when trying to talk about substantially different things.
The word “pedophile”, for example…
…If you are a typical product of your culture who is using this term…you are likely employing it as an umbrella term, grouping together everybody who has ever been found to have had any sexual encounters with legal minors.
When I say “pedophile”…I use this word by its proper, direct and original meaning…that being, someone who is sexually attracted to prepubescent people. The word means no more and no less, which is why I do not attach any value judgement, or value connotation, to it…I see it as being no different, then specifying someone as heterosexual, or homosexual. We are talking about a base orientation…not a full assessment, of someones character.
[Just to clarify, however…when I put pedophile in quotation marks, I am usually acknowledging it by its distorted usage…likely the way most people presume it.]
“Pedophilia” often suffers the same fate…many people mistakenly equating it with child abduction, child rape and child murder…amongst other things…
Have there ever been pedophiles who have done those things?…Yes…with a lot of tragic social conditioning, some pedophiles have come to believe that “this” is what they were destined to do…and it has happened…But those manner of things, do not deserve to be the public face of “pedophilia”…For starters, they don’t even begin to give a balanced assessment of what true “pedophilia” even is…In addition, those are extreme, rare and fringe spectacles…Even amongst the pool of knowledge we do have, those sorts of things are not at all normal amongst pedophiles.
“Pedophilia” [which means “love for a child”], for me…is anything based out of love and kindness towards children, which comes about because the instigator is motivated by the fact that they are a pedophile…
…Helping a child with their math homework, can be pedophilia…Feeding a hungry child, can be pedophilia…Providing a child with clothes, can be pedophilia…etc, etc, etc…So long as you are not legally and ethically obliged to do these things, by being that child’s parent…then these kinds of behaviors may very well fit into the definition of “pedophilia”.
While I realize that may put a very positive light on pedophilia, which I am sure many people are unaccustomed to encountering…fact is…these types of things are a natural facet of being a pedophile…You are attracted to, and want to be around, children…children require certain things, and have needs…you get commandeered, into helping them with these requirements and needs…That is just how it works…
…It’s called a relationship…something many people have falsely claimed, “does not exist” between a child and a pedophile…On the contrary…They exist all over the place…They are forced to exist “below the radar”.
…I am not afraid to state the blatantly obvious…and this shocks many people…Though really, it should not…What I speak is clear common sense, which any rational and sane person should be able to understand.
Without going on much longer…I have written the above, to point out something to the uninitiated…
It is important when communicating with people of different experience and opinion, to understand that we may be using words differently…It is important to know that many of us have sound reason, for why we use these words the way we do…It is also vital, to strive to understand one another.
In most cases…I think whatever hostility has been aimed at me, has come about because in a very real sense…we were not speaking the same language…Whatever I was saying…they were not hearing.