Monthly Archives: August 2007

Abandon “Pedophile”?…

Date: August 25, 2007

This topic keeps resurfacing…”abandon pedophile”…

I’ve come out recently (though I wrote on this issue at least a couple of times in the past) with my stance on this issue, at BC.

In short…if we make up all of our own, new terms…what good is this, other than placing a band aid on top of the problem?

I think, if we place much faith in this course of action, we are entirely losing focus, on the real battle.

I mean, hey…I don’t know…

…maybe, we could invent new names…and maybe we could push the sex issues into the background…

…but, what would we call ourselves, and why?

How would this help anything, when there is a rampant viciousness in society, that attacks early life, and “culturally undesirable” sexuality?

We can call ourselves anything we like…but, if many of the people around us are freaking out over the typical, sexual characteristics which we have in common with each other (and falsely associating violent assault with us)…then where has the name change gotten us?

The problem is politics…the propaganda machine…the media…and opportunists (of many sorts).

We need to bring cultural understandings of human sexuality, and sexual development (in it’s broad scope, including childhood), in line with the reality of human sexuality and sexual development.

We need to destroy the phobias, and replace them with a rational and positive understanding, of just what is taking place, when people choose to come together sexually.

We need to expose opportunists, and corruption in this field of research, “treatment”, and politics.

If we don’t…It will always come back down to the attack that, “we are pedophiles”, even if we no longer call ourselves such.

We need to go after the root of the problem…peoples misconceptions about pedophilia and inter-generational relationships.

Is It Natural?…And Other Questions…

Date: August 23, 2007

“Why do you believe having sex with children is natural? Can you cite sources for pedophilia in the animal kingdom or different cultures who don’t see child/adult sex as taboo? I’ve tried googling to no avail…”

I believe this is natural, because it consistently exists within nature…No matter where you look, especially within the human species, you will find it in every culture and geographical location…regardless of cultural differences, race or any other factor.

A few pinnacles in human history, which institutionalised “pedophilia”, were Rome and Greece. Today, I would have to consult a resource, but I know some sexual contact between adults and children are allowed in various cultures. Some Arabic cultures, for example, allow “intimate petting”, of daughters by their fathers, for example.

Judith Levine wrote a book, a few years back entitled “Harmful to Miners”. In it, she talks to some extent, about her time researching a culture (I believe it was in New Guinea), and documenting this type of behavior.

I can think of a few other instances, off the top of my head, but I cant remember how to spell the names of the cultures…

One thing to keep in mind, is that a lot of cultures are not hyper sensitive about sexuality, like we in “western” cultures tend to be. They don’t all have the same, sexual superstitions, as we do.

…as such, for many cultures, this would not be an issue at all. It is not necessarily something, which there would be books and records written about, by the natives of that culture…especially, if they were not technologically advanced, nor having a wide spread political structure.

I tend to believe, that a vast amount of this type of behavior, simply never got (or gets) much attention.

Not every culture has the same social dynamics, which create an industry surrounding the sex panic.

As for animals, you can research the bonobo apes.

“How old is “too young”? / How old is “too old”? (The “too old” question does not apply to those of you who are attracted to both adults and children.)”

I don’t know…

…I have my own tastes and attractions…and what I can reasonably deal with, behavior wise…

…I could never place a concrete age, onto an act of loving intimacy, however.

It makes sense to me to limit certain kinds of physical acts, yes…anal sex, for example…

…but, there are forms of loving, sexual intimacy, for which I can not see any valid reason within nature, to prohibit it, regardless of age.

Now, if we are talking about reasons within politics, that is another issue…

“What happens to the child once they hit a certain age and you no longer find them attractive? Are you still emotionally attached to them and continue to be a part of their lives or do you move on to the next young boy/girl? Basically, what I’m trying to ask is, is there a chance the child will grow up lamenting on the fact they’re not longer aesthetically appealing because they’re not young anymore?”

I am not as aesthetically appealing anymore, either…

There is no magic answer here…

…I’ll let you in on a dirty secret…

I do not have a history, which contains lots and lots of boys in my life…nor have I ever had what could officially be called a “young friend”, in my life.

I had some close brushes with boy/boy sexuality, when I was a boy myself…but, one of my biggest regrets, is that I have never personally put this concept of man/boy sexual relationships to the test of reality and time. This is largely because of the dangers involved, and I have no doubts, if the social atmosphere were different, my history would be different, as well. I worry to much, about dragging other people into a political and legal mess…and the mess which results from that.

I can tell you, however, my attraction for the young is fairly broad, and stretches well beyond the statistically normal span, of your average, intimate and sexual relationship…that being, five to seven years.

Theoretically, I could meet a five year old boy, and be intimately involved with him, from then on, well into his teens…I find the occasional eighteen year old, to be quite cute, too…

Regardless…The average human being (in the US, anyway) has seven sexual partners, over the span of their lifetime, according to statistics. When we divide an average lifespan (I’m not sure what that number is, but let’s say seventy years, and be optimistic) by this number, that gives us less than a decade for each relationship (factoring in, that very early years in life, wont tend to be all that active).

Many people have more than seven such relationships…and hoards of human sexual relationships, last less than a year…five years is a long relationship, anymore…and likely always has been.

What I am trying to illustrate here, is that sexual relationships commonly happen multiple times over a lifetime…It is human (animal) nature…They commonly only span a small fraction of our lifetime.

If I have a relationship with a boy, that lasts from the time he is five years old, until he is fifteen years old…how does this differ, from anyone else having a relationship, which starts and evolves into something else, where the sexual aspect comes to an end?

It is just the first, of other such relationships.

I think, our culture ties a lot of baggage onto these relationships, because they look at the adult model, and think “every relationship must end badly”…because, “that’s how all these relationships turn out”…

…which is a false presumption…

Firstly, because not all adult relationships turn out badly…and secondly, because adult relationships typically have different goals and expectations, from that of adult/child relationships.

For me, and for the boy…the evolution is to be anticipated from the start. It is to be known and understood that it (the sex) wont last forever…we are not going to get married…No unrealistic expectations. The boy is not bound to me, for eternity. He is his own person.

…at some point, as the boy grows…things are let go of…This happens in many areas of a child’s life.

“When you initiate contact with a child are you honest about your intentions? Do you manipulate them into having sex with you or do you leave it up to them to make the first move?”

I don’t have much contact with children, but I am always honest about my reasons for being in the vicinity of a child. Normally, it is all consequential to the work I do.

I have never in my life, manipulated anyone into any form of sexual contact with myself.

…There is, however, something very suggestive, about using the word “manipulate”.

For a person who has never done anything sexual, it is impossible for their partner to escape the “manipulation” speculation…especially should they be older, or more experienced.

In some cultures, this would have merely been thought of, as a fitting introduction to sex, and sexual relationships, with a competent and trusted teacher.

Even if they have had sexual contact (and even a lot of it) previously…you can not even put the idea into another persons mind, for them to ponder and decide upon…without being accused of “manipulation”…You did, after all, suggest something…that might be appealing enough, for the other person to accept.

…Maybe it is manipulation…but, does offering a free will choice make it a “bad” manipulation?…or an unfair manipulation?…or a forced manipulation?

Religion Panel – Do Atheists Lack “Spiritual Values?”…

Date: August 06, 2007

01) Religion Panel – Do Atheists Lack “Spiritual Values?”

“A panel of religious experts debates the question of whether or not “spiritual values” can be said to be held by individuals who do not profess a belief in God. This excerpt is taken from a program titled “Religion in U.S. Culture and Society,” and was hosted by the Commonwealth Club of California.

Many studies show that Americans are more religious than people in other Western countries, but battles still rage in the United States over the role of religion in everyday public life.

This panel of religious thinkers comment on the role of faith in transcending individualism and selfishness in a commercial society, on addressing the variety of faiths in our spiritually diverse society, and on religion’s role in education. — The Commonwealth Club

Michael Maudlin is Editorial Director at Harper One San Francisco.

Stephen Prothero is the Chair of the Department of Religion at Boston University and the author of numerous books, most recently Religious Literacy: What Americans Need to Know (HarperSanFrancisco, 2007) and American Jesus: How the Son of God Became a National Icon (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2003).

Rabbi Michael Lerner is a political activist and the editor of Tikkun, a prominent progressive Jewish and interfaith magazine based in Berkeley, California.”