Missing You…

Date: July 29, 2013

01) I miss ’em

“Who do you miss?”

Farlin…Gemini…Weyland…Goodguy…Boybuddy…DY…and too many others…

I realize that some people change their identities…and every rare now and then, I recognize a retold story…or an opinion, which has a certain someone’s style all over it…I’ve even done this myself, for a time.

…I think it is obvious, especially when you know someone intimately well…it is obvious, when they are truly gone…While I’d not say this of all named here, I would say it feels like their meaningful presence has left BoyChat…It’s the biggest shame, because these were the sorts of people, who understood what it took to make BoyChat human…They were from an era, where BoyChat could genuinely be classed as a support forum…where people genuinely cared about each other, and cared about what happened to each other…with sincere emotion, from a true bond…and a true sense of responsibility for each other…even real loyalty, which withstood the many tribulations we all have faced…These had a strong existence here on BoyChat, once.

For me…wandering through these boards has become a hollow experience…There is an insurmountable hole left here at BoyChat, in their absence…And I feel more like a lone relic, or a ghost without his companions. Returning here is never like it used to be…where you knew you were coming back to your second family…You knew a lot of people, would be just as glad to see you, as you were to see them.

…And they were real…They communicated and acted, like real people…in the best ways, that humans should treat each other…They and others like them…they are what is missing so badly, around here.

BoyChat feels un-welcoming…uncaring…selfish…petty…immature…lost to “all about the lulz” mentality [an attitude which screams contempt, and makes me personally sick to witness] …It feels like you can trust virtually nobody, to be straight, genuine, honorable and honest, anymore…Too many people concerned with their head games, and contests of who can trip up who…seemingly for personal sport…Whatever happened, to mutual respect around here?

Of course…I am encouraged by some newer participants, who feel to have passed as genuine…who are civil…who seem to have their mind, in a right sort of place…who care about us, in a wider perspective…who do not take the low road, or hit below the belt…

What it takes to rebuild what we had here…is people who may be much too few, and much too far between.

No…It was never perfect…And maybe, we were living in a somewhat sheltered fantasy world…But we had something here, which we could be genuinely proud of…something we were all intimately invested in…

…We could use a lot more people like those I’ve mentioned above, on BoyChat today…Individuals like them, are the only thing that has ever made this place truly great.

BoyChat is poorer, for their loss and absence.

…Part of me sometimes wonders, if they feel the same.

…I hope they do.

I will never again be complete, without my BoyChat family…In a few cases, these losses have been every bit as devastating, as experiencing the true death of a family member.

What I have found at BoyChat has given me extreme highs, and dealt me very deep lows…lows I find hard, to choose adequate words for.

But I will always love my BoyChat family, no matter what…I will continue to wait in vigil…

James Cantor Speaks at ATSA Convention…

Date: July 25, 2013

01) James Cantor Speaks at ATSA Convention

You know…”Virtuous Pedophiles” has been around for several years, and I’ve been reluctant to really give much comment regarding them…Mostly, this is because I did not dig deeper and lacked a clear understanding, on the finer points of their stances.

It is considerably troubling, what Howie brings to light here, in this post…I’ve probably listened to that interview before, and I recall at least one article regarding this very issue and James Cantor…I guess, I did not realize that James Cantor was a central founder in VP…and I thought the group was more…”grass roots”…

…Is VP a ploy for James Cantor to do a study?…a study for which he already has decided, what the “findings” will be?

I don’t know…I want to be entirely fair…And I recall James Cantor when he first came to BoyChat, and answered some things…I did feel a bit sorry for him, because of the hostility…His defense of his work, that given his sample of participants…his findings were simply how the numbers and statistics broke down…It made me pause and think…Yeah, I suppose it is not his fault, if that is legitimately how his group of test subjects turned out.

…Like many, I do have to think there is something very uncommon about his test subjects, however.

Maybe, at the same time our view is skewed…because we associate with each other…We at BoyChat found each other…And while I’d never dream of suggesting that every single participant at BoyChat is a model for BoyLovers, I do have to concede…maybe, the BoyLovers and Girl-Lovers with lower IQs have a strong tendency to stay offline?…Maybe, they are far less represented amongst the BoyChat and GirlChat face? Maybe, the lower IQ BoyLovers and Girl-Lovers have a natural tendency to get caught more?…to not think things through?…to have less impulse control?…I don’t know…But I do find it believable in theory anyway, that they may be an over represented group which gives the rest of us that stereotypical “pedophile” representation, even when it has never fit us as individuals.

A sad point…is that most people like us are not going to voluntarily compromise themselves, by participating in these kinds of studies [and organizations]…Most who do end up in such studies, are people who got caught and snared into the system. Lower IQ people, for whatever reasons, seem to be the ones getting caught and put on display for the public…Higher IQ people are either refraining from illegal activity, or finding better ways to cover their tracks…They are not at all likely, to compromise themselves by volunteering for such studies, or by joining such groups…Which I think, is why higher IQ people are lesser represented amongst the studies.

Of course, I’ve known some BoyLovers with high IQs…My own is a bit above average…I think most of the BoyLovers I’ve had relationships with, were at least of average IQ…I can only think of one on BoyChat, who had a decidedly low IQ.

Given the fluidity of human sexuality…and what I believe both history and research have shown, to be the wide ranging universality of “pedophilia”…I have an extremely hard time believing, that there are not at least equal numbers of “pedophiles” amongst all classes and social ranges…as well as IQ levels.

I’ve often thought, that we [Child-Lovers and Teen-Lovers] generally get tainted by the demeaning stereotypes [ie: don’t feel we can get an adult companion], because those sorts of things are more genuinely accurate…for the over represented low IQ groups. Crazy thing is…if those various things are correct for those groups…to my mind, this means that a large portion of said groups are “situational pedophiles” [a misnomer], and not even actual pedophiles.

…I’m off on a tangent, here…

“Virtuous Pedophiles”…

…For the record books…I support the genuine public expression of voice, by real pedophiles and real ephebophiles…even if I do not personally agree with what they are saying…I think it is a good development, getting a lot of us out there in the public arena making an impact on public dialogue.

Positive Atheism’s Big Scary List of Jerry Falwell Quotations…

Date: July 9, 2013

01) Scary Jerry Falwell Quotations

Jerry has been dead for a while now, but I am starting to sift through my massive collection of saved links and web pages…and I ran across this page.

These quotes are the sorts of things habitually repeated, by one of the most prominent modern day leaders of the organized christian movement…And millions of people looked up to this guy…They followed his lead.

These examples really put into sobering focus, exactly why the organized and political christian movement is so disturbing.

Jerry Falwell, to my mind, had a very loose grasp on sanity.

Child Porn vs Child Art…

……
….	Date: July 9, 2013 01) Child pornography vs Child art “How does one define the difference between the two? Is there even much of a difference at all?” – Nooble 02) Repost Thread 03) Re: Child Porn vs Child Art – Amor Vincet Omnia “Kiddie Porn” has been a serious cultural icon and focal point for several decades now. Future generations will want to understand that, and go to the source to understand the craziness of our culture. It’s very invisibility will taunt future art historians to search it out and study it and when they do so the best of it (like the John and Carlos series) will be elevated to a pedestal, studied and praised by a snobish few, and thus slowly make its way into a future culture.” – mvanhouten 04) Re: Child Porn vs Child Art – Amor Vincet Omnia “Most people– even regular posters here– don’t see child pornography as potentially a colaborative effort between photographer and subject. On very rare occasions this isn’t the case, but in the vast majority of samples involving boys I’ve seen the colaboration is obvious: erections and grins are difficult to fake. That boys can often be eager and active participants in the production of what the law defines as child pornography becomes clear when we see boys creating nude self-portraits for others using their cell phones, etc. with no direct adult involvement.” – mvanhouten The original question is a good one…and a hard one to answer…Or, maybe not… It is only hard to answer, if you are attempting to make any distinction in the first place. Are child pornography and child art, explicitly different things?…I would suggest, no…There is no tangible line, to distinguish them from each other. In fact, I [like various others] consider child pornography to be a form of art, as well as a simple documentation of human sexuality. Much child pornography – the expression and immense enjoyment of sexuality by children – is outright beautiful and wonderful, in my opinion. That type of child pornography is not awful, nor is it ugly…It is not an assault, nor does it solicit ill emotions in any rational mind…It is, very simply, a celebration of young human sexuality…It is capturing beautiful moments of sexual discovery…and a time in life, when sex is new and exciting. How any rational or sane mind could be offended by this, is beyond me. It makes no practical sense, at all…The only way to make sense of such sentiment, is in knowing that most people speak of child pornography from a stance of complete ignorance, of the thing itself…Or, they have an extremely skewed and negatively biased viewpoint, from something in their personal past, which they project onto the entire topic of child pornography. They have to read things into child pornography, which commonly are simply not represented at all…Or in other words, they are imposing lies upon the content, itself. As was brought to light in these threads…Yes, much of what is considered great art today [IE: Caravaggio]…was scandalous and caused a social uproar, back during the era when it was actually created…So, times do change…people change…ideas and views change… There were a number of infamous artists, who depicted naked child bodies…and who were reviled for it, in their own time…Today, we cherish and celebrate that very exact same work…Yet, we cannot seem to afford the same respect, to modern day depictions. How is that for a breakdown in logic?…It’s like, humans can’t see this issue in a tempered and measured light, unless an individual example is extremely old…It’s somehow lasted the test of time, and survived…Whomever made it, or was depicted in it, is long dead…Maybe that has something to do with this messy rational?…”The long dead, aren’t to be worried about”?… The “child pornography” of today could become entirely embraced, by future generations…Like some, I would also expect this to happen eventually…along with an overwhelming social sense, that people of our era were outright insane, over their hostility and viewpoints on owning and viewing depictions of children [and teenagers] in sexual activities. I can hear them now, asking “what was the fuss about?”, and making assertions that we must have been living in the dark ages. So, what distinguishes child pornography from child art?… …In my opinion…not a damn thing, other than ignorance and social phobia.	….
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Reason.com: Perverted Justice…

Date: July 9, 2013

01) Perverted Justice [Page 1]

02) Perverted Justice [Page 2]

03) Perverted Justice [Page 3]

04) Perverted Justice [Page 4]

“The panic that followed Megan Kanka’s murder produced an alarm system that often fails to distinguish between dangerous predators like Timmendequas, who had a record of assaulting little girls, and nonviolent lawbreakers like Elliot, who posed no discernible threat to the general public.”

…

“Registration only rarely leads to murder, but it routinely ruins relationships, triggers ostracism and harassment, and impedes education and employment.”

…

“Some sex offenders, including nonviolent ones, will not live to see the underside of a bridge because they receive sentences that keep them behind bars until they die. Two decades of ever-more-punitive legislation have produced sentencing rules so bizarre and byzantine that the punishment for possessing images of sexually abused children can be more severe than the punishment for sexually abusing them.”

…

“The public branding of sex offenders through online registries is a reaction to horrible, highly publicized crimes, such as Megan Kanka’s murder, in which strangers abduct, rape, and kill children. But this sort of crime is exceedingly rare. Data from the Justice Department’s National Crime Victimization Survey indicate that more than 90 percent of sexually abused minors are assaulted by relatives or acquaintances—people they trust. (According to the same survey, strangers commit just one in four sexual assaults on adults. They commit only 14 percent of sexual assaults reported to police.) Furthermore, according to a 1997 Justice Department study, nearly nine out of 10 people arrested for sex offenses have no prior convictions for this category of crime, so they would not show up in sex offender registries.”

This article is such a great smorgasbord of highly quotable information, that I’m literally having to stop myself from lifting more quotes…At some point you have to stop, otherwise you are violating copyright law. There is a lot of information broached here, and this is a “must read” kind of article…The kind I’d love to have a full copy of, on my blog.

What is given here, is a soundly damning indictment, on modern day implementation of punitive sex prohibition laws…Its extremes…Its failures…It’s lack of touch with reality…

Demi Always Liked Em Young?…

Date: July 8, 2013

01) Demi Moore Passionately Kissing Boy (Full Video)

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Here is a gem of an old video, from 1982…

…Demi Moore [at age 19] passionately kisses 15 year old Philip Tanzini, three times over…

At times, I am just floored by spectacles of hypocrisy…I mean, how exactly does this jive, with Demi and Ashtons reckless campaign against “sex abuse” [which grossly distorted facts and figures…They didn’t even care enough, to have correct information…], that caused such a stink a few years back?

I don’t personally see anything wrong with what happened in that video, mind you…

…I just have a hard time wrapping my mind around how people’s behaviors, are so often in extreme conflict with what they say…the messages they preach.

I know people evolve and change…but how were you once this open minded, even sampling “the unspeakable” in public…just to turn into a crusading witch hunter?

…Maybe Demi is so far past her prime, that she’s having a hard time getting the cute fifteen year old boys anymore?…Maybe, she’s spiteful?

We’re Not Doing Enough for BL Youth?…

Date: July 7, 2013

01) BoyChat Response

When the owl is hunting the squirrel…do we point out that the squirrel is no longer gathering nuts for the approaching winter, and hence “being very irresponsible”? …or do we acknowledge that the most pressing threat facing the squirrel, is being killed and eaten by the owl?…

Your original contention:

“You guys are no advocates for young BL’s”

An additional insight from you:

“Gays have made so much progress that they really don’t have many battles left to fight. That’s why they’re focusing on these ‘pet projects’ like the Boy Scouts, gay marriage, etc.”

I think you just rebuffed your own original contention, here…Or at the very least, you pointed out one of the fundamental reasons why BoyLovers don’t [openly] have substantive organizations and programs, to concretely support young BoyLovers.

It is this way for every minority, clawing it’s own way through intense persecution.

When you are fighting for your own literal survival and existence, tendencies will be to make your stands, on the fields most immediately facing/threatening you…This does not always leave much, for the creation of wide reaching organizations…or “pet projects”, as you called them.

At times when this “You’re not doing enough” accusation comes up…I am forced to respond, with at least a little bit of frustration…”What exactly do you expect?”…There is no road map for us to follow, given our particular set of circumstances…There are a lot of people fighting [successful or not] to destroy, any positive advances that we make. Many of us do what we do, while fighting a lot of obstacles which hold us back.

Fact is…we need less people complaining about how the movers around here “aren’t doing whatever”, to their own satisfaction…and more people who concern themselves, with recognizing causes in need of people to do something about them…preferably following through, with personally doing something about them.

You want us to have our own youth organizations and initiatives?…Wonderful!…But we need a much more solid foundation, before we can seriously even get to the point where such things are viable…Otherwise, what are we going to build these nice initiatives upon?

Please know, it is not that I deny much more needs to be done regarding “our own young”…This is amongst many things, in dire need of attention…I just think you are ignoring the real world, if you think we can “do it all”, and “right now”.

Trafficking of Children in the United States: Documentary Film…

Date: July 2, 2013

01) Trafficking of Children in the United States: Documentary Film

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This show is old [1981, I believe]…As such, the political and social landscape has changed tremendously…Some of the things they say, really are no longer true…Like the way they claim law enforcement is oblivious, and nobody is doing anything…

…At this point in time [2013], some thirty years later…we have seen a dizzying, nightmarish flip-flop, going from one apparent extreme to an opposite and undeniable, obsessive extreme, in which hatred of sexual minorities is allowed to hide and thrive under the guise of “saving children”.

All the same…extremely bad things do happen in this world…And we serve nobody well [including ourselves], by denying the problems of the world we live in.

Many of the things talked about on this show, are behind why I do not support or endorse child prostitution.

It is hard to go through this, and clearly separate the propaganda from sound fact and statistics…yet, I believe it is wrong to ignore these kinds of issues.

Just keep in mind while watching…there is normally some amount of truth and some amount of skewed exaggeration, in these kinds of shows. The setting and structure is big city, with “government involvement”…not at all common.

To my mind…the issues discussed here, are far more about the continued lack of child and youth empowerment, than anything else. These kids were abandoned, as disenfranchised parts of our society.

“Miracle Village”…

Date: July 2, 2013

01) Sex Offender Village

02) Direct Download Link

Lisa Jackson and David Feige give a very compelling interview, which primarily focuses on the sex offender registry.

Much of what get’s presented here, will be old news for a lot of us…as we are already quite privy, to these sorts of facts…but this is worth listening to, and sharing with others.

One thing that does bother me, is how Lisa spends so much of her time trying to explain [just like David], how many of the people ending up on sex offender registries are not dangerous or malicious people…She even cites a case, of a hapless eighteen year old who was duped by a fourteen year old girl with a fake identification card [drivers license, I believe it was] …yet, Lisa repeatedly refers to these people as “predators”…I have no idea where the breakdown in logic is happening with her, but I found this downright staggering. She’s going to these great extents, to explain why they don’t deserve what happened to them…yet, “they are still sex predators”?!…Maybe it was a mindless, poor choice of wording while on the spot, in front of the microphone?

All the same…I was going to do some private time recording, while driving to and from a destination, earlier this evening…but opted, instead, to just listen to the radio…By happy chance, this was on the air.

I thought I would share this with you, as you may find it refreshing to know this sort of content can still make it onto prime time programming.

“Ms. Rooney’s” Cognition…

Date: July 1, 2013

01) All the world loves a lover?

02) Don’t tell me my affair with a teacher was abusive – I’ll be the judge of that

Apparently, “Ms. Rooney’s” very own cognition, and memories of how the relationship took place, are not good enough for the majority of commentators.

Many of them have their cliches, their stubborn thought patterns, and their rigid social models, all ready to go at a moments notice.

…I get disappointed, all the more…as I virtually never encounter even just an original take, or viewpoint…It’s a mental wasteland…those sorts of comments sections…recycling the same old, well trained “slogans” of disgust and horror…from minds, with no use for objectivity, or empathy. They are “right”, because they say “they are right”…and they are legion.

One thing I’ve noted more in recent times…is the extreme discomfort many people exhibit, wherever “a victim” comes forward to say that what they experienced was not bad…or “worse still”, was even good.

It’s like, the majority of people have decided…that the branded “victim” has no right to their own cognition.

It reminds me of a YouTube video out there, where this male is talking about his experience growing up around BoyLovers…He even admits to having “had experiences with them”…and he outright says, he was not harmed by it.

Of the comments, most are from people simply arguing with him…telling him he is wrong, and “he is a victim” no matter what he says or thinks, or how these relationships even happened. Literally, they were trying to deny this guy his own voice…because they just don’t care, about the objective facts surrounding his experiences with BoyLovers.

“No matter what, we’re going to call you a victim…No matter what, we’re going to call it abuse…No matter what, we’re going to extract severe consequences.”

…What do you even say, to people who think and act like that? There is no common ground…They’ve marginalized others [commonly “us”], right out of the discussion.

I sometimes wonder with some people, if they are literally incapable…of being better than they presently are…or of evolving into something more, than what they are currently limited to.

One would think, the voices of those actually involved in the relationship in question would trump with authority, the voices of others…and especially of those, who had no personal involvement or knowledge of said relationship…

…But in cases like that of “Ms. Rooney”…the masses have deemed her inconvenient cognition “inferior” to their own…Heck, isn’t their own “right” to impose assumptions, what is most important of all?…[an extremely cynical question, yes.]

As things stand…any ignorant fool can lecture the rest of us on a public stage, regarding “just how wrong we are”, because our experiences and opinions don’t line up perfectly, with those [often uncritical, and uneducated] of the majority.